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I hate to ask


Daswulf

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My family needs prayers. Please don't include me I'm a lost cause and no one is affected by me but my family is In desperate need. I hate to not include details but as it goes I prefer not to. I hate when I don't know how to or can't help. So prayers it it. I'll continue to share mine out as well. 

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Hi Daswulf.

I was listening to the flight attendant not long ago doing her instruction routine. She came to the oxygen mask and said that if you have a kid, you first put the oxygen mask on yourself, then on your kid. The lady besides me was incensed. "How can she say that!" she mumbled ... I would first put it on my child then on myself. 

Well, no, that is not how it works. If you don't look after yourself, if you don't love yourself, you can not help others. Those who depend on you need you strong and well. If you go you can not help a single soul. 

Don't hate to ask, don't hate at all. Love the fact that you can ask for others to help, the fact that you have faith in a reply from others and overall from God, and know that no one is "a lost cause", there is no such thing. We make different choices, some better than others, we forge our path one step at the time just like we do on the anvil one blow at the time. 

You hold the hammer the fire heats the steel. Think in the outcome you want, the shape you want to achieve and strike the iron, one blow at the time. When it gets cold, heat it up again. 

May God guide your arm.  

Marc

 

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Marc, Thank you. heh, your putting meaning to my existence.... I try....at best I take care of some messed up cats lol. well them and the chickens. I've either been a bad uncle or my brothers dont care to bring their kids over since they think I'm crazy for what I do. upon talking with my middle brother he is supposed to bring his kids over tomorrow to play at the forge. we will see. they need as much help at they can get and hopefully the forges fire and steel and a hammer can give them a lil release from their troubles. I know it helps me.

I really appreciate the prayers and thoughts.

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Das,

Marg and I have added you & your family to our list of intentions. I.e. prayers and good wishes are on the way.

I, respectfully, must disagree with your assessment of your self worth.

Your posts, on this site, show a lot of concern and care for others. (answering questions, making suggestions, experience, and giving advice.)

Many of us have experienced other's contempt and misunderstanding. We practice a craft that is not well appreciated, today, and not common.

That's life. Some will come around. But do not let other people define us. They are wrong.

Self esteem can be learned. We can do it all by ourselves. (by continuously instilling good thoughts in our own minds)

. That's a tremendous start. Incidentally,You ARE well appreciated and understood by most folks on this site. Internalize that, it works.

Also, watching another person suffer serious misfortune, and not being able to assist is devastating. That feeling of Impotence It is one of the most frustrating things that many of us will experience in our lives. I have been there. I feel your pain..

Hang in, and do what you can.

Please remember that the people on this site (& I) are always on your side.

Dan.

a. k. a.  SLAG.

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Prayers sent but please you or not you're on the list. YOU don't get to decide if you're a lost cause and to go all Zen on you. You are NOT a lost cause because I say so! Nobody with as big a heart as you is lost.

You can't fix everybody's problems been there and it's a tough thing to wrap your head around. Beating yourself up for other folk's problems hurts you and doesn't help them. One of the tougher things I've had to do is tell a niece of mine to deal with the suggestion she dump her SO. Her SO tended to spend their budget on get rich quick schemes and pot instead of just paying the bills.

You can offer, you can be honest and blunt but trying to pressure family into getting their act together only results in resentment. Giving them money is even worse. It's hard stuff but you can do it or if necessary let them be.

It's okay to feel bad to feel inadequate, nobody's always up to the job. It's okay, got that? O-K-A-Y to not be able to help. Imagine how those of us who tried to help felt, watching a man bleed to death trapped under the dashboard of his car. The last time I made the long commute without carrying a fire arm I had to stand back as a moose that'd gone hooves first through the windshield kicked the driver to death.

Sometimes, too often there is just nothing we can do and it hurts. It's okay to hurt, be sad, cry. What is NOT OKAY is beating yourself up over it. You didn't turn your back on folks in need. You are one of the good guys, believe it, we do.

We're here for you Brother.

Frosty The Lucky.

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Das Wulf,

Re - read all of the above. Most of it applies Universally to those amongst us including YOU who give a hoot about the world around us.

Now, let's have a competition, just you and me, as to who is the biggest, rottenist failure: You Lose. I don't have to know anything about you to claim that prize, my arrogance disqualifies you.

In 2003, my world instantly unraveled. In 2012, I discovered that all of the  9 years of work of putting it back together was for absolutely nothing - I could not, with all of my strength, save one single life. I was as the walking dead when I stumbled upon IFI and this Brother/Sisterhood, and these rough-shod, down-to-earth people were what I clung to. With them, waited it out, continued to rebuild my fortitude,  discovered that my twelve year ordeal had altered my brain chemistry, whereupon I took measures to get back on the level. 

Be Stoic Brother, wait it out. You are here for a great purpose, if You Want to Be.

At 58 years of age, most of my most desperate fortunes have reversed - the life that I could not save now thrives by my side.

Had I given up in three years, five years, or eight, two people would have been lost Forever.

Prepare yourself for the rest of your life to step into your great purpose.

Thousands of people will have an unnamed person and his loved ones in their prayers this evening.

Robert and Sheila Taylor

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I bend my knee (grunting and groaning on the way down, and struggling to get up). 

Brother, all to often it's the broken people who have the biggest hearts and are always willing to help. That's you my friend, I can name a dozen others here (and miss thousands) that fall in that same category. We know how it feels, we know what pain, heart break and hopelessness feels like, that's why we stop and offer our hand to others. Doesn't matter if your hand is broken, you still do it, because we have known despair.  

Your one of us, God's broken and misbegotten children, we are the heroes of this world, because we know the fire all to well and still we run toward it, even if only to save a kitten. 

 

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In the wise words of Winston Churchhill, when you're going through hell, KEEP GOING. 

We've all been in difficult places.  Every single one of us. There are people here and elsewhere who love you, support you, and pray for you. Be confident in the knowledge that we see the good in you, and take a little time each day to ask yourself without judgement or condemnation, "Where am I *right now*, and what is the next right thing to do?"

One step closer, brother. One step at a time.  

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You guys are tearing at my heart strings . I have those? Every one of you are great people that I fully understand you have dealt with hard times as well. Thank you all for the understanding and caring. So far I have no updates. Brother never showed up. I will try again. Maybe work/school nights are bad. I'll try again tomorrow. 

The IFI family/ brothers/ sisters is a real and good thing. From the warmest part of my heart I thank you all. 

 

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Just an update. My brothers and I had a long overdue sit down talk along with my oldest brothers wife and middle brothers girlfriend.  It went very well. We hashed out feelings and started a conversation about solutions and ways to cope with some of the issues that have been happening. There are no quick solutions but we have a better understanding and hopefully we will find it easier to talk to each other. That's a good step forward. 

Again thank you all for the prayers, thoughts and wisdom you have shared. 

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Ever notice it's ones we love the most that can (and will) hurt us the most and make us the maddest? 

Its always a challenge for those of us with mental illness, or those of you who love us, as as much as we all try we fall short of understanding. Respect and acceptance is all we can hope for. It doesn't hurt for we, the crazy to try to minimize the disruption to our love ones lives buy trying to keep our xxxx In one basket. At least most of the time. For the In laws it can be particularly difficult and frightening, especially when they believe they need to protect their kids

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So right Charles. we had a Bday party for my niece today and it went well. I think it would be better if we shut off the TV. :) guess I'm the only guy in my family that isnt distracted by sports.  I can feel the hands of support on my back and the wisdom echoing in my mind. The long hard road is ahead. 

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