A Smith's mental health (tips for keeping calm and forging on)

[Frosty]

Ivan: Thank you for the honor of asking us this, your trust is treasure greater than gold and gems.

 

While my substance abuse never got to the level of seriously disrupting my life I did spend a few years in the, "live better through blood chemistry" crowd. I find smithing is therapy for my bad days. When I feel I'll never smile again till I kill something slowly lighting a fire and making something sets me right.

 

You see, to get the steel to do what you want you must control it, the fire, the tools and everything that comes in contact, to control those you must control yourself. I've never been able to heat a bar and just beat it. Why not, it's not like you can hurt steel, it's nothing but highly refined dirt. You can destroy it but you can NOT hurt it so what's the point.

 

Before the accident and TBI I was pretty darned good at the anvil, now I'm not much. I know what to do, the muscle memory is pretty much still there but I can't see well out of my left eye. Nerve damage messes with my vision so my brain doesn't have the depth perception to hit where and how I want. My glasses only help some but no correction can make the blear clear. What used to take minutes takes hours and doesn't come out right. <sigh>

 

You bet it frustrates me, gets my back up and I just go after it till I'm too tired to go further. Seriously I can't head a nail straight but I make nails. Last weekend a friend and I went into Anchorage and spent the day with Teenytinymetal guy and I took a shot at something I'd thought of years ago but never got around to trying. It came out recognizable but not so hot. It wasn't nearly so frustrating, it was something I'd never done so I had no superior past examples to compare it to. It's still a pretty mediocre piece but it came out pretty well for a proof of concept piece. a little goofy but so far everybody recognized what it is. It makes me feel better.

 

When I feel better about myself it's easier to control myself so it's easier to control the fire, tools, equipment and all. Still can't see worth beans but what the hey, I'll figure a work around. Heck maybe I'll invent a new tool. <wink>

 

Rashelle: hitting the bags sounds good, I don't need close depth perception and I haven't hit bags since I stopped studying the martial arts. Maybe I'll set up a makawari(sp?) board, I don't need to kick. Then again I did really love the kicks. I've never used martial arts in a fight off the mats that is but I sure did love practicing. thanks, I need things to challenge me and maybe get my fat butt back in some kind of condition.

 

Ivan: Thanks for starting this thread, I'm thinking we have a whole community of folk who deal with frustration, anger and general PITAs. Constructive coping skills are always good things to develop and I'm a sponge for techniques other folk find useful.

 

Frosty The Lucky.

[lupiphile]

I Have two quotes , scrawled across this wide webbed i beam that spans the width of my forging area,in large block print. The first is, "success is the ability to go from failure to failure, with no loss of enthusiasm" (Churchill), The other is, abit of a personal mantra and what I want written on my gravestone " worse things have happened to better people". These saying always do a pretty good job of realigning my weakest impulses. That being said, I much prefer working by myself so my meltdowns happen behind closed doors so to speak. As to your financial/vocational situation, you might want to find a smith whose work you admire and propose some part-time employment. You sound as if you've been doing this long enough, that you could make yourself , more than a little useful in most shop environments, and that way you wouldn't  have to go anymore into the red for a little guidance. Congratulations on getting back on your feet, tailspins are hard to come out of. Boston would be a terrible place to be homeless( rudeness, weather, rudeness). Take care, Matt 

[David Einhorn]

Ivan,  If *any* person has enough stress in their life they will experience mood issues.  Anything you can do to reduce stress can help.  Approaching each situation and determining how to solve the challenges for each situation in such a way as to also reduce stress, may be something to try.  It sounds like you have already identified the strategy of finding learning opportunities to increase your skills, as an excellent way of reducing your stress by resulting in being able to complete work more accurately and more quickly.  As folks have already said, joining a group is likely the most affordable way to expose yourself to new knowledge.  Some blacksmithing groups offer opportunities for scholarships to blacksmithing courses.  So joining a group can be a win-win situation. 

[billyO]

While my substance abuse never got to the level of seriously disrupting my life I did spend a few years in the, "live better through blood chemistry" crowd.

 

Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting an alteration of blood chemistry. The point was rather to step back, do something else that you enjoy until your perspective changes enough to return to the task at hand. 

 

(Hope that didn't sound defensive or argumentative :unsure: ...)

[Rashelle]

You are welcome Ivan. It's a reference that usually works for me. Then when needed to refocus myself it was a form of punching bag or another. Archery like you mentioned was also a good form of focus. Like Frosty said forging is an exercise in control (Ok I reworded that). Archery when you can let yourself "relax into it" was my thing for years.

 

Any forn of targetting really went with self control. Whether it was a gun, a bow, throwing axes, punching a speed bag or sparring (Never spar when feeling overly aggressive wanting to let drop ones self control) I went so far as to making all my own gear, the bow's the strings, the arrows, quiver, arm guards, finger tabs, the fletching was burnt or cut to my shape by me etc. Like forging there was a feeling of accomplishment to go with using gear made by myself that I found relaxing. Letting yourself into the moment of the arrow as the arrow left your string feeling the flight of the shaft was like a zen moment.

 

But to get there you had to be able to let everything else go. Thus either a physical refocusing such as the punching bags and music. or the mental refocusing telling myself to let it go, or the reminder that no-ones shooting at me. I don't dwell on the memories (that would be a whole nother set of threads in a much different setting), I just let the realization that the moment will pass, relax me.

It is always the moment at the moment. Sooner or later it will be a whole different moment with different feelings, needs, desires, emotions.

 

Frosty you are also welcome. The neat thing about the speed bag is it can help with hand eye co-ordination to the point where the eyes are closed, thus not needing sight when in a rhythm, then you can change the rhythm. Might help some. As muscles and sight realign to be able to mix things up. Hammering has it's own rhythm seems to me like one may help with the other.

 

Rashelle

[basher]

I was taught a great mantra by Mike Blue.....
As we forge the steel ......the steel forges us.
It's certainly true.
We are human and flighty and do well......or not.
The steel does not give a monkies about that.....
Forge it......forge it.....again........and again........and again......and again and again.
Once you have cocked it up enough it really does not matter when it goes wrong again.

So you can accept your latest effort as just that...your latest effort ...or not.


In the end you have to make a compromise.... We all do.

[Charles R. Stevens]

"Ivan, I have a mixed bag of emotional and mental health issues, to include Type II bipolar illness, ADD, PTSD, and a few mild ride alongs.

 

Some one on the assembly line thought it would be fun to turn the gain up to 10 on my emotions.
As I wasn't diagnosed till into my 20's I learned to cope to a greater, and lesser degree, but I spent a bout a year getting a handle on the fact there simply was no way for me to will myself better. The next year I spent learning to manage it.

 

I was taught various meditation techniques as a kid and teen, both to control cluster headaches and my temper. And bit of Kempo thrown in. But the witch doctors (please if you are a psychiatrist or psychologist don't take offense) taught me biofeedback and ti Che. So I can pretty much hit the "reset button" at will. Amazing when you know how, and are skilled, one deep breath can stop an emotional run away dead in its tracks.

 

As to the sling, don't twirl it over head. Make it so with your arm down at your side it clears the ground by, say 4-6" (so you don't hit the grass) to let fly, drop the pouch and stone strait down, and keeping your arm extended, preform an over hand throw, releasing when you are pointing at the target.

 

Golf balls are good to practice with, large oblong fishing weight are deadly. The Romans has specialized tools to remove sling bullets from legionaries.

 

Te over head swing is for battle field massed attacks.the overhead throw brings home dinner."

[Borntoolate]

When I was learning to shoot pool a friend of mine said "Don't practice making mistakes"   MEaning if I was just off on my shots and I wasn't able to pull it together that I should just put my stick down and come back to it later.   Maybe there is something there for blacksmithing.  

[Ted T]

As I have read through this thread it gives me hope!

We all express our self’s different, and sometime we have feelings that we feel are important, but the right words do not seem to come out as we mean for them to do.

I know!  Because I have had to eat a lot of CROW in my life.

This thread has reinforced to me the milk of human kindness people can have for each other .

 

It is not exactly what we say, but what is important is that we put on the glasses of kindness so we can see “what is intended”; that is what is important

(the intent of the heart).

And I see this reflected in each post.  

It is a pleasure to read all of the input to this thread.

[Jim Coke]

Greetings Ivan,

 

From what I have seen from some of your last post you seem to take on very elaborate larger projects..  We all have taken on such projects and can visualize only the end product... I am just as guilty..  What I have found in the past is to use my picture frame method...  Its simple..  Visualize only a portion of your project... Study it completely .... Plan your procedure...  Now start...   Keep all your thoughts directed only to the picture frame..  If you feel that you are drifting and would like to move on to the next portion... STOP and walk away...   Now rethink your return to the picture frame and restart..  This system has worked well for me in the past ..  Its just another way of saying ... Stay focused on a small portion of the whole..   Francis wrote his book ( The blacksmith cookbook) in that form for a reason.  Just like a recipe, plan and add the ingredients at the correct time to achieve a perfect result..   Just remember PICTURE FRAME .. and start your day... 

 

Forge on and make beautiful things

Jim

[yves]

When it is one of those days, I do have them, the strategy (it is the same as that of a lot of us apparently) I have developed and which permitted me to avoid medication was to stop doing what I do not succeed and do something I do succeed. With blacksmithing this turned out to be like this other smith a little earlier : I forge S hooks or something like that I know I will make without a problem. And then, on the realy bad days, I forge something else I'm good at, that I have no risks in forging and do that. And sometimes I'll kill the fire and do some whitesmithing and whatever cold work there has to be done. And at one point, I feel better. And if feeling better does not come around, I rule that I am tired and get out of there.

 

Good luck.

[John McPherson]

Sometimes it is best to walk away. Turn off the forge and just clean your space up, sort, sharpen, polish, oil, re-handle, whatever. Then, when inspiration next strikes, everything is ready to go, and you don't have to wonder where you flung that &%*# hammer.

 

Old time smiths, West and East, made their new apprentices sweep floors, sort & break up the forge fuel, top off the slack tubs, etc. for the first year or so to see if they were worth training. Some of the best smiths, like the Boone's, sweep the shop before every break for a meal. It is both a fire watch, and a time for reflection and perspective.

 

Don't let the hectic pace of the electronic society we live in take over and destroy the life affirming thing that happens when you spend time in the forge. Done right, it is therapy on it's own.

[Crazy Ivan]

Thanks to all who posted on this thread. With my new tricks for keeping that heart rate down I was able to go and work on something (decidedly silly) for a friend for the holidays. It went well enough that I think I cut a whole lot of time out of my "slump period" that happens after getting mad about something. Thanks a lot and hopefully this thread will help others with this tendency as well!  

 

http://www.iforgeiron.com/gallery/image/37866-elephant-bottle-opener/

[Crazy Ivan]

Heres a shot of the handle and top.

 

 

http://www.iforgeiron.com/gallery/image/37867-elephant-bottle-opener/

[Justin Caradoc]

Good job!

[Frosty]

Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting an alteration of blood chemistry. The point was rather to step back, do something else that you enjoy until your perspective changes enough to return to the task at hand. 

 

(Hope that didn't sound defensive or argumentative :unsure: ...)

 

Sorry Bill no, I wasn't referring to your post at all. I believe substances had come up and I've been there and got away. I'll cop to being VERY lucky on the substance addiction susceptibility. The only drug that really got it's hooks into me was tobacco, took me almost 5 years to quit after I seriously tried to kick it. The tree is what really kicked me loose from tobacco.

 

Frosty The Lucky.

[Frosty]

Very cool opener Ivan, you're rolling now!

 

Thanks for starting this thread. I think there are a lot of folk baring their souls a bit or more. I get all misty eyed reading these posts, manly blacksmith misty eyes of course. <wink drip> These episodes define a community, some communities see a fallen member and folk step around, cross the street or just turn their backs, they don't want to get involved. In others folk drop what they're doing and go help their friend, family member fellow citizen, whatever up, dust them off and maybe give them a kick in the right direction.

 

It does in reality mist my eyes to be part of this family, clan, gang, mob, whatever. Yes I'm lucky!

 

Frosty The Lucky.

[Gergely]

Thank you Ivan for starting this thread.

 

I've had the same frustration and often. Without the hammer-throwing, but even so it is not a good thing.

I usually do two things when it happens: I start to do some woodwork with the two hands of mine. Wood is easier to work with but still phisically challenging (for me) if you use only a drawknife. The same time I get calm(er) and try to figure out what went wrong and why.

The other way is to talk it out. When I'm lucky enough to have a chance to tell my wife what happened in the shop and why I'm so nervous I somehow always realise that there was a lot of pleasure and I succeded in the most parts, only a couple things went offroad. But I need to get perspective...

 

 

On the other hand I want to thank you Jim Coke.

 

Your picture frame metaphore describes one of the origin of the beginner's problems. When I'm not able to separate every different phase from eachother and work on them one at a time, that project is doomed. And for a beginner it can be difficult to see what will be a phase and what will be the next. 

I think if you are strict and use the "frame-method" you can be succesful even at the bigger and more difficult projects. 

So thank you for showing the way.

 

Bests to everyone: Gergely

[Frank Turley]

In the 1980's, I wrote an article for Anvil's Ring mag, entitled "Defining the Inner Workspace." I talked about practicing a form outside the shop such as yoga, tai chi, chi kung, sitting meditation, etc. After practice, try bringing some of the principles to the shop, especially deep breathing. Don't hold your breath against the work. Try not to bring house problems to the shop. Conversely, as my old farrier mentor told me, "Don't take your horses to bed with you." Try not to get caught up in deadlines!

 

Sometimes, you have a day where everything goes right. Time is suspended. Everything falls into place. At day's end, you are tired, but it is a pleasant tired "rockin' chair on the porch as the sun goes down kind of tired." David Smith, the sculptor, calls it "taking a ride on your work." Tarthang Tulku calls it "working at the gut level."

 

When this happens, it is a mild form of meditation. Try to analyze it to see how and when it happened (it doesn't always happen).

 

When hitting the mental obstacle in the shop, it is time to stop, reflect, and breathe deeply. Your breath should feel as though you're filling your belly and your back. The area of the back directly opposite your belly button should fill. After doing so and relaxing a bit, if that doesn't work, take a longer break, maybe a day or so.

[Anachronist58]

Ivan, read your topic: "An Intense Commission" posted November 24.  I joined this Forum yesterday, and this is only my second posting.   Now I know all I will ever need to know about this venue, and about all of the people who have responded to you.

 

I read every response, and will read each again, I am sure.  What an unbelievable compassionate and intelligent community of human beings! I don't know what to add to the wisdom shared by all the posters - But what macbruce said about that place within you ten stories up, and what Raschelle said about Perspective and a Heavy Bag - do not forget their words - Put that bag back up NOW!!.  Throw your blows CALMLY.

 

I was homeless off an on from 1979 -1987, when my wife found me living in someones back yard, welding, etc, and paid $20 a day. My long awful story is like that of many others who have come back from the edge (or were pulled back from over it). To quote lupiphile quoting Churchill,  "success is the ability to go from failure to failure, with no loss of enthusiasm",  who has a clue what these words are doing in my life?

 

My forge went cold ten years ago, when I stopped living. Finally, just a few weeks ago, I refired it and struck steel.  Then I gave a Smithing Lesson.  Then I took iron sand from the yard and fired my first pig. Then I joined iforgeiron and found this Awesome Community,

 

So Thank You, Ivan, for posting about your "problems with patience, temper, frustration and perfectionism", and thanks to all who responded. Keep a relaxed grip on your hammer, unclench that jaw, and know that transforming passion into steel - not all who come are able - and yet, you are doing it now.

 

Robert.

 

 

[Wroughton]

Welcome Robert. 

 

Glad you're working iron again.

You'll find many wonders on this site. 

Most of them will pertain to metal in differing degrees.

[Frosty]

Welcome aboard Robert, glad to have you! I'm constantly surprised at the IFI gang and this thread is really dropping my jaw. Of all the very different experiences, emotions and coping techniques, I've read many with amazement and understood them all at a gut level, it's been very cathartic for me.

 

Seems Ivan planted a seed in fertile soil.

 

See gang, I CAN make a straight statement and all the fertilizer remarks were screaming to be aired. <grin>

 

Frosty The Lucky.

[Mike Romo]

I can't help but chime in on this one.  After nearly 20 years as a firefighter and paramedic, I have seen my share of terrible things.  A few years ago I learned I have PTSD.  Many years before then, however, I learned that I enjoyed working with metal--specifically steel. 

 

I had a few shop classes under my belt, a father who was a jack of all trades and master of one (Master Barber), and a desire to tinker.  Off and on for many years I played with steel.  A bit of welding here and there, helping friends, etc.  A couple of years ago I began doing much more welding, in earnest, my wife noticed I had become a much more stable personality after a couple of hours in the garage welding, grinding, and drilling.  As it turns out, I have now stumbled into blacksmithing and knifemaking.  Neither of which I am very skilled at, but both bring me peace. 

 

Even though I find peace in the garage with my anvil, forge, welder, etc I still have occasion to become frustrated with a piece of work or project.  Just as I have learned to cope with my personality in public and around others, I can now do so in my own smithy.  I will notice I am off kilter and will make a conscious decision to allow the peace of smithing to overcome my emotional response.  Even if things aren't going as well as I had planned, I can say that a bad day blacksmithing is better than a good day working--unless of course something catches fire--in that case, reverse those two (remember, I AM a firefighter--grin).

 

Regardless, my wife and kids can see and feel a palpable soothing of my own savage beast when I get some forging or welding done.  It's even become a sort of mantra that she asks me if I am going to do some forging and unless I am either WAAAAAY distracted or exhausted, that is my signal from the love of my life to fire up the forge and heat and beat. 

 

There's nothing we can't do as masters of our own lives.  We can heat meal to near molten and beat, bend, twist, split, drift, punch, etc it into whatever shapes we can imagine--well, sort of.....why not find peace when we are doing our thing.

 

Ivan, hope you find the strength to level your keel, adjust your sails, feather your throttle, file the rough edges, (insert saying here), and make cool stuff.

 

 

Mike

[yahoo2]

For me it was the debt that was making me moody and irritable, or more specifically the lack of control I had over my own business. I got help to restructure my loans, downsize and reduce my costs and free up some time to do some contract work for a couple of years. I am a lot calmer now that I I am not fighting with the bank's idiot accountants every two weeks.

[Charles R. Stevens]

It's unfortunet that do do abuse of the mental health system, that the forts had to step in, now it's all but impossible to get your love ones help, unless the seek it. Then the system that provides that help is a mess. The best care requires money or insurance, wich of corse you don't have because you e lost your job. For those of us that didn't fall threw the cracks, or who's friends and fammaly were able to pull us back from the brink it's a miricle. For all our brothers and sisters that are left out in the cold I still pray for them.