Charles R. Stevens Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 Part of the beauty of IFI and the high standards for behavior (and low standard for humor) than Glenn has set. Well meaning people don’t revise they do more harm than good some times. I always use the example of “just stop worrying” given to a person with anxiety. Now they are worrying because they can’t stop worrying. The best you can do for us is to show you care and listen. Learn to except your friends and families symptoms and go and talk to a professional so you can learn not make it worse. It’s ok to say “I don’t understand” just fallow it up with “I care about you and would like to try” a call once a week just to see how ones doing can mean all so much, drop buy if you know it’s not a trigger that will start your friend on a tail spin. Step over the dirty clothes on the floor, was a couple of cups and start a pot of coffee and just be there. Don’t judge, just love us. Their is a time and a place to step up and push for self care, to offer to help clean up the mess we have made. I try and be patient with the ignorant but well meaning and try to educate them. Mental health is a chronic illness like any other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anachronist58 Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Charles, and to all who are not familiar with this world, you have given extremely powerful and simple to follow advice. Nine years in oblivion (my last episode), the worst part was having to comfort others who were made uncomfortable by my despair. All we want, sometimes, is that human connection, if not understanding, just listening over a cup of coffee. Blessings on you Brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stash Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 You're on the list, Charles, as well as Sandy. Shalom Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 Thank you Anarchronist, we all to often feel we are alone. The truth is that one in five Americans are in the same boat. Man interest alright he military, law enforcement and emergency services has begun to do is explains to their personnel what the symptoms of PTSD. Just knowing that the symptoms are “normal” takes a lot of the power they have over is away. It’s just a symptom, it’s normal for your diagnosis. Thank you Steve. It means the world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAG Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Charles & Sandy, Marg and I have both of you to list for prayer and intentions. I just ran across this post, hence my delay in responding. Rest assured, you are among friends that care. Hang in there. Best regards, SLAG. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 Thank you master Slag. Give Miss Marg a hug for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Charles: This was a real gut wrench when I opened my comp. Sandy, you and yours are always in my prayers, I'll step them up. It's hard to deal with people sometimes. Everybody wants to help and not knowing how doesn't lessen the desire. Makes it worse in fact so they try. I've been 1st on the scene for some pretty bad accidents, one fatality and you sometimes have to get loud and rude to get folks to back off. Mental health is much harder to deal with than physical health or injury, even the best diagnosis doesn't really define an individual's issues. We all have them, appearances are deceiving, It took me quite a few years to realize my best friend was a sociopath, he wasn't joking when he expressed his desire to be a drunken logger. Abandoned his wife and children to live down to his dreams too. The really frightening thing is I can look back with the light of knowledge and clearly remember the red flags. You'd think I'd learned eh? I'm just warier it takes time to learn to know a person and develop an opinion and in the end it's just an opinion. I'm sorry Charles, I meant to offer comfort and ended up lost in self examination and reminiscence instead. I sincerely wish we lived close enough to sit over coffee, a beer or roasting dinner over a fire and talk. I'd even keep my mouth shut . . . most of the time. Sure you might have to whack me once in a while but I can be quiet, honest! I can't offer a lot specifically and won't pretend to. What I can offer is my friendship and the occasional silly joke to hopefully lighten the mood. I don't really take things as lightly as I often sound but humor is my armor against fear and pain. Glenn's little garden party here lets me be me to a degree and it's turned into family above and beyond blacksmithing. The thing that let's you know it's family is when a member's pain hurts you. My love and best to you and yours Charles. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 Thanks Jerry, it’s actually good just talk about mental illness in general and yes let’s laugh about it by all means. It’s painful enough with out gallows humor. this has been taboo for all to long Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donal Harris Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 He shot himself about 12 years ago. He lived with it for about a decade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Yes I've run into a number of people pooh poohing PTSD; telling me that servicemen didn't have it in the previous wars. SAY WHAT? I know of shell shock in WWI and my Grandfather did not speak of his time on Iwo Jima in WWII for 50 years, and my mother talked of his nightmares he had while she was growing up. It was present in Korea and Vietnam as I've talked with veterans from them---and lost a good friend suffering from it. You got to start wondering how far out from reality the pooh poohers are... I'll be driving down to pick up my Mother and take her to visit my brother over the holidays, He's in long term care 3 hours away from her. Bipolar++ and OD'd on his prescribed medicines that were supposedly dealt out to him on a day to day basis by his state assigned caregiver----the one that called us and asked if we had seen him as he's been missing from his apartment for a week---He was in the hospital and they didn't know if he would make it. She had to go take a class and made no arrangements for his care, just gave him the pill bottles... Now He's in long term care and my 84 year old mother is feeling guilty that she can't take care of him at home; he can't walk and is only 3 times her weight... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 20, 2019 Author Share Posted December 20, 2019 It’s a hard thing. Sandy and I both live with with suicidal ideation, you just get tired down to your soul. 1/2 the gun related deaths are suicides and we don’t really know about automotive “accidents”. Sleep deprivation is the number one predictor/contributor to suicide wile alcohol is the second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irondragon Forge ClayWorks Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 I will ring the anvil three times to ask the Goddess, God and Great Spirit, to send healing light and comfort to you and Sandy 4 hours ago, Charles R. Stevens said: Mental health is a chronic illness like any other. This couldn't have been said any better, for those of us who are dealing with it, whether ourselves or family members and friends . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 21, 2019 Author Share Posted December 21, 2019 Thank you good sir Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Matt Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Charles, stay strong buddy. My little girl is only seven years old. She’s got neurological, mental disorders. Something like this, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’ve made almost anything. Parts for space stations, and military and A lot of dies stamping automotive parts. For 25 years of my life I could fix anything! I/We can’t fix neurological! I made a hard choice of working from home. Yeah, I took an early retirement to be with my little lady in her Limited days. I took a part time position (3yr) as an educator/professor for struggling Youth. As, My daughters situation, I now give back to my community. I wish I did before. Funny how things work out! Walk a day in somebody else’s boots, then reminisce how good you got it! Give good as often as you can, you will be remembered for it on your deathbed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 21, 2019 Author Share Posted December 21, 2019 My oldest has CP and youngest has a personality disorder so I can relate to some of your struggles Matt. Give her a hug for me, we have grand daughters that age and they all look like grand children to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notownkid Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Charles & Sandy you are in my thoughts and prayers, it is most difficult esp. during a Holiday Season. Be Safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arkie Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Charles, sincere wishes for a speedy recovery, if that's a proper word, for Sandy and yourself as well as a provider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 21, 2019 Author Share Posted December 21, 2019 Thank you two. Recovery is the right sentiment if not an acual reflection of the reality. Coming to an uneasy truce with the demons may be closer to reality, lol. At this point it looks like the wich Doctor (no offense intended to any payciatricists hiding in the rank, its an inside joke between myself and my first doctor) has taken sandy off the collection of pills and has only been giving her one. We will see how that goes I know posits is tabo, but as 1/5 the population has severe mental illness, we and our friends and family’s make a huge demographic. If even a small protein of us raise our voices we can do so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 How we talk about our issues makes a lot of difference. My personal experience stems from my accident, Deb bought me a laptop and subscribed me back onto Iforge under the akfrosty login, she didn't know my login at the time. She also signed me up on FB <shudder>. The outpouring of good wishes and sympathy on IFI was wonderful, I don't know how many posts there were. After a while it started getting hard to read the day's posts, downright depressing in fact. Then one day, Grant Sarver, bless his heart, started . . . I don't recall the title but it was something like, the great white birch roast" Well, something like that. He started roasting me and telling wonky brain jokes. The gang joined in and suddenly I knew I was going to be alright, my friends weren't worried they were poking fun at me and making fun of the injury. Suddenly I wasn't "just" checking email and Iforge I couldn't wait to read the next joke, I was looking forward to the next days funnin and regular posts. Grant had given me my life back, he turned sympathy into humor. Sympathy is all well and good but it really starts to wear on a person's spirit. Laughter is good for the soul and spirit. I don't know if I'm brave enough but I hope I could laugh at the devil. Laughter is Divine medicine, I know, been there. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 22, 2019 Author Share Posted December 22, 2019 Humor is truly the best medicine. Jerry, your egg may have been scrambled but your skull is to dang thick for a skinny little tree to keep you down. Besides you look good as an omelette. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Sells Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 Give Sandy a noogie for me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 22, 2019 Author Share Posted December 22, 2019 I’ll do just that Master Sells, she doesn't hit all that hard ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tanglediver Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 It's a rough thing, and becoming much more noticeable with a number of my own kin folk. Now, with 20/20 hindsight, I can second guess till the cows come home. But really, I just want to lead my own life. I am sorry to hear it Charles, I pray our heavenly Father heal and strengthen you and yours this Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 23, 2019 Author Share Posted December 23, 2019 Thank you sir. Half the problem we have with mental health is the taboo and pervasive belief that it is simply a weakness of character as aposed to a desease process. This leads to peaple not seeking help and a pervasive sense of guilt. Neither one leads to any sense of recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles R. Stevens Posted December 26, 2019 Author Share Posted December 26, 2019 Well, guess who they threw out of the hospital on Christmas Day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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