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I Forge Iron
rockstar.esq

Advice to your younger self

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I'm interested to hear what people would tell themselves.

Here are a few things I wish I could tell my younger self.

Outcomes matter more then intentions.  

Overcoming most of life's obstacles starts with getting out of your own way.

Endurance is not the answer to everything.

 

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You're not as smart as you think you are.

Pnut

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Don't get in a hurry and use the wrong tool. 

Don't get in a hurry using the right tool. 

Use the needed PPE the first time and every time. You don't have to have the risk of a catastrophic event to take care of your health. Some damage/exposure is cumulative, and every little bit hurts. 

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Shut up and pay attention.

Frosty The Lucky.

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You are not bullet/fire proof.

Don't charge too little for your time and skill.

Don't hit black iron.

"By hammer and hand all arts do stand."

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If you are happy where you are, then you did good.

If not, well, there are no reruns, there is no ctl,alt,delete.

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Flaky friends are not worth having.  Their actions tell you that they don't respect you enough to keep their commitments, so accept their decision and move on.

A low-ball job offer is an employer telling you what they think you're worth.  

Banks can tell when your bills are due and when your paycheck gets deposited.  If your balance gets low enough, they'll pick just the right day to stall the deposit and post the bill payments to maximize overdrafts which get taken out of your paycheck.  

When you're broke, any accidental over-payment that's made instantly(credit/online), will take two weeks to refund.

 

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Stay away from 19yr old blonds trying to be redheads....:D

Pay more attention to your elders when they speak. Wisdom comes with age, stupidity comes with attitude.

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First thing that comes to mind for me: " Don't try for the pogo-stick record next to that plate glass sliding door.".

Steve

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If an elder advises you not to do something---and offers to show you scars; perhaps it would be a good idea not to do that!

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3 hours ago, Welshj said:

Stay away from 19yr old blonds trying to be redheads....:D

 

Now I'm not naming names here, but wow, did that ever apply to my younger self!

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When in doubt get the paternity test !

 

never have intimate relations on fathers day or mothers-day unless you want the outcome the gods are jokers after all

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Could have been worse; I have a friend who's now married, sequentially, 2 red headed daughters of different US Marine Sargents...We thought of giving him the Wylie Coyote award for self inflicted pain.

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^ oww....:D

Rockstar- If I'd have been able to tell myself that 26 some years ago... it would have saved me two decades of child support payments.

Think of the hammers that'd buy?!!:blink:

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6 hours ago, ThomasPowers said:

Live below your means.

That's a big one.  My version is "live light in your youth", meaning don't get burdened with stuff...or people that weigh you down...or debts.  Cheap car, cheap living, no debt, casual relationships unless you are REALLY sure (and that should take a LOT to happen).  That gives you actual FREEDOM.

Theoretically once you learn that in your youth, at least some of it stays throughout life.  I made the mistake in a previous marriage of getting hooked with someone who had to spend on things, needed "stuff" to feel fulfilled no matter what the debt costs were, and demanded constant attention.  Finally getting rid of that and having zero debt (except the mortgage) is something I'd never give up.  Even the mortgage is 1/2 what the bank would have loaned.  

The other advice I wish I could still learn is that in business, no one gives a *bleep* about you but you.  My father taught me to be a "company man" and assume that hard work and loyalty would be rewarded or at least appreciated.  It's manure 99.9% of the time.  Problem is, I can't seem to unlearn it and move on from some business relationships that expect more loyalty etc. than they give.  When you hit 60, it's a lot harder to give those old business ties the boot without a replacement.

 

 

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I'm not sure if I count in this talk since I'm only 23.

I'd have to say go for it you can only fail or get rejected and forget everyone else they won't matter in a few years. live the way you decide don't let others decide for you.

if I actually saw myself back in high school I'd punch myself in the face then list off all the things wrong with him and ask that girl to dance at grad also go to university or college 

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I've made some major mistakes during my life; but looking back on them I told my wife that without them I would have never been where I am now with such a wonderful wife and daughters and grandkids!   So perhaps I would encourage my younger self to realize that you can make big mistakes and pick yourself up off the ground and try again and flourish!

Red; I'd agree that being young gives you a lot more room to try differing things and still have time to progress along the way you find for yourself. I did advise my Children to not close possibilities off if they can avoid it.  (I remember a family member deciding they wanted to go to college and study a science; but since they had not taken any of the courses necessary in High School they were limited to what colleges they could go to and had an EXPENSIVE catch up to do.  Another cousin; took a "college bound" track in high school and decided to become a landscaper instead. No problem.)

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I sometimes say, If I'd known then what I know now, I wouldn't have made the mistakes that taught me what I know now!

That said, if I were able to send a message back to my younger self specifically, it would probably be along the lines of "You are clinically depressed. Get medicated."

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At one time during the dot com boom I had $32K in stock options; but by the time they were vested the stock had gone from $90 a share to 90 cents a share and the options were positively, (negatively?),  abyssal!

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WelshJ, I wasted a lot of time and emotion on a dead end, but I didn't end up with any paternity issues so that's good.

Red3;  Thank you for commenting, it reminds me of what I might have said at your age.  While our estimable Thomas Powers has a good point, I would like to suggest a balancing argument.  Many of the most rewarding things in life come from sharing experiences with others.  If you want or think you might want to have kids, get married, or support friends and/or family, I would recommend considering how little time we actually have to achieve financial, social, and emotional stability.  I would also recommend considering the goals and aspirations of people you haven't met yet.  When I was in my 20's I was dimly aware that a hypothetical spouse might want to have kids eventually.  When I actually met her, the window of fertility was at a use it or lose it stage.  I didn't have the means to provide at the level that was needed.  We worked our way through it but everything has been exponentially harder than it should have been.  

Growing up I heard "old people" complaining about how expensive things had become.  By the numbers, things are much, much, harder for a twenty something in 2020.  Life goals like marriage, babies, jobs, all of it has been grievously delayed for people your age.  Timing has never mattered more.  Taking on outrageous college debt just to "figure out" what you want to do, is a financial death sentence for the majority.  Working experience is extremely hard to come by.  I would recommend looking for work doing something that is always unpopular and necessary because it will provide wherever you go.

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