How do you pick yorself back up.

[Daswulf]

When nothing seems like it's going right, how do you pick yourself back up and move on?

[Glenn]

Find a small project that you can successfully complete. Then another, then another.

[Daswulf]

That's pretty good advice. I really feel like I'm stuck in small land. I'm failing at forge welds and other things that seem like simple tasks. lately I even tried leaves and was even messing those up. Burning the stems. Seems everything I try is a failure. Also writers block. I have no idea what to even do. 

[DSW]

Go back to basics.

[Daswulf]

I try. is there a reason I'd regress? seems like two steps forward one step or two back. maybe I'm being careless or not following what I've learned but usually I feel I am. and then there is writers block. Sometimes I think I've just lost any talent I had. can that even happen?

ok. start back at basics. maybe I'm out of it but I've even been messing up leaves and feathers. So start back at hooks. take a step back and see what I've been doing. funny enough my first RR spike spatula was my best and they get worse from there other then the twists. I just dont know what is wrong with me. way too many variables to count. 

[Daswulf]

Actually This is a double question I guess. not only in forging but also in emotional state. which is probably the same answer. do something you can over and over or start back at the basics Are good answers for either. I love how blacksmithing is so relevant to life in general. still, I'm having trouble and any, all advice is helpful. I'll see if what I can physically do or basics get me back to good. both in my blacksmithing or mental state.

 

[Frosty]

Writer's block, blanking on a word or term and similar are Aphasia and since the accident it's an ongoing issue for me. Getting stuck screwing things up like you describe may not be aphasia but my gut says it is or a related thing.

I have a couple ways of dealing or working around aphasia. For the blanking on a word, etc. I stop trying and talk or write about something else but I can fool my brain and deliberately write something that needs the same term and just write it without trying. It works more often than you might think. With the right approach and practice you can literally tell your brain to do or stop doing things and it will. If something that made you mad keeps cycling in your thoughts it's either the emotional, creative side of your brain running in a circle OR the rational, the calculator, control freak side.

If you're in an emotional loop do some simple arithmetic and or look at a geometric pattern and literally tell your brain to cut it out stop.

Not getting a rational thing right and getting stuck in a loop can be stopped by looking at something pretty, trees, clouds, mtns. etc. natural works better for me and telling that side of your brain to get over it, just stop.

It's astounding, before the TBI I never would've believed you can literally TELL the left or right side of your brain to behave itself and it will. There is a lot of recent research including ECG movies of circulation in the brain stuck in a loop in one small area and the person being able to break the cycle just by focusing on something the OTHER side of the brain does and telling the cycling part to cut it out.

Okay, that last bit is really close to home for me. I'm sort of a long cycle bipolar guy and when I get depressed I go to a mall and just do random nice things for people. Nothing big, hold a door, take a cart back to the store, help someone load something, just smile at people. It's amazing how fast making other folk smile brings me out of a funk.

When I can't get something to work in the shop, especially routine junk I sometimes just have to walk away and do something else. Not being able to get a weld to set can drive me nuts and it only gets worse if I keep trying. Trying different things only makes it worse so I just stop and go do something completely unrelated. I think it's the left and right sides of my brain fighting over which is in control. And yeah, the sides of your brain can fight for control, the artist and technician fight and nothing goes right. 

You can consciously think about which side should be in control of whatever and TELL the other side of your brain to stop being a PITA.

I gotta tell you, I've learned some of the weirdest things about my brain since the accident. I have issues I have to contend with or I'm toast so I learned tricks and work arounds and am training portions of my brain. Life is just so weird sometimes. Cool but weird.

I don't know if any of that is any help to anyone but it often works for me.

Frosty The Lucky.

[notownkid]

Going back to basics is about the best answer but what is basics?  that changes with the person but:has peoblems

 take a course on Forge Welding from someone you respect even if it costs $$.  Look like it as a second opinion. 

If you have been working alone get involved with a group and see what happens.  A friend told me once even a shrink has a shrink to talk to.

I  have a friend that does woodworking, nice stuff in my eyes but he has problems once in a while like all of us and he will call me and tell me what is going on, i know nothing about wood working other than making sawdust and kindling but after venting his problems he gets realigned and figures out what is his problem. 

In my case I had stopped trap shooting for 5 yrs from shoulder and back operations when  I started up again I couldn't hit a thing, my son tried to help and that didn't work.  I finally went to see the guy who had started me years ago, he was in a nursing home good physical shape but mind was going.  We talked about it and he said to make arrangements for him to leave the home he was in and take him to the range which with the help of his daughter we got done.  In an hour or so & 100 birds of watching me he told me to move my feet, stop dropping my shoulder when I shot, stop dropping my head, stand up straighter (hard to do after the back problem)stop yanking the trigger, do a better job of following the bird, and a host of all Basic problems, my scores shot up immediately.  My Friend went back to the home telling everyone he had just been called off the bench one last time to help the pros( I never was a pro but sounded good).  I'm glad I did it as it did both of us a world of good  and now he doesn't remember me or his daughter.  I think of him everytime I see my shotgun in the safe. 

Guess the answer is get help.

 

[Charles R. Stevens]

Some times I find my self just on the edge of symptomatic, often doing something that needs a half a degree of concentration will quit the noise in my head, but other times the squirrels are running all over the place and I am so distracted that it takes extreme effort (think of how intently you focus driving in a snow storm). When that happens I have to call it a day (I don't even drive unless it's a dire emergency) I go check the animals, pull out a well worn book and just put up my feet. 

I have been playing this game a long time and I can "muscle" my way threw most times, but it's usualy best to call it a day, or find something else that needs done. All depends on how screwd up my attention is that day. 

Myou know that water line you have been wanting to run out to the shop? Might be time to start digging...

[ThomasPowers]

First you have to break the cycle of getting more and more frustrated with yourself and repeating the same mistakes over and over.  You need to recover your "center".

I try to do something *COMPLETELY DIFFERENT* that I enjoy for several hours at least longer is better---like going camping and sitting in the forest cooking over an open fire and relaxing.

Then when I come back I approach the task trying NOT to get all tightened up about it; often starting at the basics is a good thing.  Note I have had some steel from the steelyard that just would not forge weld; where the next stick would stick like I was gluing it.  I've learned that if a piece doesn't want to play nice---use it for a different project!

[Daswulf]

Thank you all for the great responses. Sounds like a lot of great advice from many years of experience.  I will be rereading through these tonight when I'm not distracted by the day job. 

This weekend should be a good break since tomorrow is my works golf outing. ( no, I can't golf to save my life but it's just for fun and we play best ball on teams so there is no pressure).   Then Saturday a friend wanted to do a little off roading in the woods. So maybe I can clear my mind a bit and just enjoy the beauty of nature. 

Then when I get back to it, I'm going to go back through the basics just to recap and check my technique and fire control. I think maybe another of my problems Is having too many projects in my head at once. I'll try to slow it down and one thing at a time to get back into the rythem.

 

 

 

[Anachronist58]

Das Wulf, you have presented some glorious works on this forum. I am not in your mind, but for myself, I can not continuously top myself in my achievements - that bar is too high.

When I was 45 years old, I suffered another devastating life setback. The only thing I could create for the next two years, was gravel, on this anvil:

Literally. I paved 200 square feet of my front yard, waiting for my mojo to return. It did, and you must acknowledge that there is no limit to your creativity. Wait for it - it is not a device, but a state of being.

You sound to be on the good road. And once again, I see that your IFI Family has your back.

Robert Taylor

 

[Frosty]

Yeah, just talking to someone makes a huge difference. Doesn't matter if they can help directly listening is usually enough. Barbers and bar tenders are the real psychologists of the world. It's amazing how often telling someone about a problem makes the answer appear in my mind.

Yeah, talk to someone and someone you don't know is often a lot better than someone who knows the answer.

Frosty The Lucky.

[Daswulf]

Thank you Robert. You are right that it is a state of being. I wouldn't call my own work glorious, but I am proud of it. Emothions on art is in the eyes of the beholder. I do appreciate that something I make can be enjoyed by others. I know I am constantly amazed and inspired by the work and ideas all of you contribute here.

 I must say that IFI is made up of Great people that I consider very much a family. You have all been very supportive and informative.  I have and continue to learn so much from all of you. 

Frosty, I guess that's what I'm doing here. And the knowledge and ideas are more helpful then I think I could get at a bar.  

[Frosty]

That occurred to me shortly after I hit submit and I don't recommend bars either, alcohol makes people stupid. Since I started buzzing my head I don't go to barbers either, I guess it's coffee shops and Iforge for me then.

There's nothing like a good waitress to let you know your problems aren't important. That and a full cup of coffee makes me feel right at home.

Frosty The Lucky.

[Soupyjones]

Sadly I can offer no advice as far as failing welds goes, but when I hit a rut at work I just try to make the next day a bit more fun. Crank up the music, crack a few jokes, make sure lunch is killer and focus on those things. I have had plenty of chances to have poor days at work over the years and that usually gets things headed back in the right direction. Things will come back to an even keel for you soon, just keep moving and you won't get stuck too bad.

If nothing else get Jerry's number and chew his ear. 

[Frank Turley]

I have taken dancing classes, singing classes, and tai chi classes. In all of them, the wise teacher begins with postural advice and deep breathing. If sitting, the feet are shoulder width, calves vertical, soles "grounded." Don't hollow your back; sit on your sitz bones. Lift your head from the head top; the chin will tuck in a little. The tongue touches lightly the hard palate, the tip behind the central upper incisors. Hands resting on thighs. Relax all joints! If standing, the same principles apply. The tailbone will be tucked forward, the so called pelvic tilt. The hands relax down near the outside pants seam. Calm the mind and let the breath fill your belly and back. Ten minutes a day is better than doing nothing. The trick is bringing this relaxed state into the shop. Getting a good teacher will help in learning the correct posture and breathing.

Besides the above, I see that you are near Touchstone Craft Center in Farmington and not too far from Peters Valley Craft School across the Delaware in New Jersey. If you can save up some money, taking a blacksmithing workshop with a teacher will help your focus. I see that an old friend, Glen Gardner, will be teaching at both places in September. Visiting museums and historic sites is another route to go.

Finally, when I apprenticed as a horseshoer years ago, my mentor gave me this metaphor: "Don't take your horses to bed with you!"

 

[Dogsoldat]

Lots of great advice and deep ideas to ponder.  I know for myself,  the day job tends to make for a large amount of built up tension and stress.  Takes a while to let it all fall away and just be me again.  Some weekends are easier than others.  With many redirects til the right task for the current frame of mind is found.  Might be as simple as swamping out your shop space and having everything tidied up and walk away for a bit until the muse strikes.  

[ThomasPowers]

Excellent advice!  Some days your forging is just "off"  use those days to clean shop, repair tools, soft the scrap pile take care of all those jobs that have been waiting till you get the time.  Then when you come back to smithing a day or a week ow whenever later things are *nice* and you can concentrate on your smithing instead of all the little "I need to reset that hammer head, make spaces for the postvise, sweep the shop floor or rake it as the case may be, etc"

When we had a "bad day" when I was working with the swordmaker sometimes we would up tools and go caving living in a karst region and both of us having geology degrees...

 

 

[Nobody Special]

Sometimes a good ear, or a good woman (or whatever you're into). Sometimes something physical that lets you disengage, for me that's running.

Sometimes something that engages you wholly, in a different direction. Playing music works well for that. Sometimes just time.

I've looked in the bottom of the bottle. While alcohol is a solution, it ain't the solution...with very, very rare exceptions.

And sometimes it's the 90 percent perspiration and a willingness to screw things up before I get it right.

 

[Daswulf]

Thanks everyone. It Is all excellent advice. 

I had a fun relaxing weekend and am feeling better mentally. Next order of business is to get my shop cleaned up and organized. I'm usually fine with my organized mess but sometimes I feel better with a cleaner organized shop. 

 

Frank, I looked into the class and it looks pretty interesting. Not sure if I can swing the money at the moment but if I can it looks worth it.  I'm sure I have some friends I could pester for a weekend as well.  

[rockstar.esq]

Daswulf,

A few years ago I noticed something that really changed my perception of emotional health.  If I imagined that depression/frustration/boredom was a parasite, all the things that make it "tick" are tied to it's continued survival.

I thought about how depression strips me of the energy and drive to do things.  People giving in to that malaise is critical to the depressions survival.  The depression needs everything to stay the same so you never feel any better.

At first I thought it only applied to depression, then I read a comment where somebody said; "the world is full of jerks when you're frustrated".  Looking back, I saw some truth in that.  If frustration is a parasite like depression, what would it need to keep itself fed?  For starters, it'd need you to find endless justification for being frustrated.  Tasks that were simple, are now impossible.  Items you just set down, vanish from sight.  Whatever would annoy you the most, is exactly the outcome you can't avoid.

Once I started thinking of these emotional states in this context, it changed the way I dealt with them.  If you have a fever, it feels like you're freezing to death.  If you did what comes naturally (seeking warmth), your temperature might rise enough to kill you.  Understanding the mechanism of the problem may require something that's opposing a natural instinct.  Just like the fever example, other people can tell how severe your situation is.  Getting an outside perspective can become a survival imperative.  Depression and frustration both do their best to drive people away from their host for this reason.

Earlier Frosty advised getting out and doing nice things for people.  I've found that works really well.  I started a blog teaching what I know as an outlet for my frustration at work.  Once I set out to help people, I could start to see the infuriating things that were going on in a different light.  It also forced me to really consider what I thought I knew as I tried to explain how things work.  An awful lot of work seems like routine or tradition until you're looking at how that task fits into the bigger picture.  I've learned more about my vocation by teaching, than I ever did by studying.  If you're able to help people, their thanks will fill your heart and give your work purpose.    

Aristotle once said: "We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit".

[Daswulf]

Rockstar, that is a different way of looking at problems.  Deffinately something to think about and keep in mind. 

Makes me think of a saying I once heard. "I drink because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I drink". Something like that. Could have been with eating or something. Anyway it's a lot of food for thought. 

 

[Frosty]

 That's a terrific way of thinking of emotional issues Rockstar! A parasitic life form feeding, excreting, reproducing and competing for territory, is a metaphor that gives us if not more then different handles on problems. I've tried a lot of metaphorical handles: resonant cycles, self feeding, others that didn't make enough sense to even remember except as blips.

"I drink because I'm depressed, I'm depressed because I drink" is a perfect self amplifying resonant cycle. It's also an excellent example of a life form feeding and fertilizing it's own fields, the more it eats the more food grows.

My favorite technique for feeling better, "random acts of nice" is like breeding and feeding wolves who eat the over grazing "Bummers." Thinking of depression like a parasitic life form really shines a new light on things.

I LOVE this forum, somebody has a problem and brings it to the forum, his/er friends. The gang starts brainstorming and everybody learns something. Doesn't matter what the problem is if you put 40,000 minds to work on it. . .  it's toast.

Frosty The Lucky.

[rockstar.esq]

Daswulf,  I sincerely hope it helps you.

Frosty, I think you came to the same solution (helping people to make yourself feel better) via a different path.

I've struggled with the idea that emotions are tied to logic because trying to logically attack an emotion hasn't worked for me. What started as a metaphor opened up new options for how I handle things.  Maybe more importantly, it's given me more options to explain why people do what they do without taking everything personally.  Everyone has their own struggle, whether I can see it or not.

I've also found that people respond to the nature of what they can see.   I think that's why sometimes you get less help sitting in the broken car than you do by getting under the hood yourself.

Daswulf opened things up with a focus on getting back on his feet after a struggle.  I think that resonated with everyone who responded.