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I Forge Iron

Cure for loneliness?


Sam Salvati

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A good book comes to mind, but you can be lonely in a whole crowd of people. Being an only child, with a strict mother, I learned early on how to entertain or keep my mind occupied.

Depends on what you are lonely for. I found out late in life what real loneliness after spending 36 years with a lifes partner and then loosing her unexpectedly. I had never really known loneliness till that time in my life.

A vivid imagination is a prime factor in preventing loneliness.

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basis for pound puppy
circa 1960

Oh, Yes, Oh Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kingston Trio
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Print the Lyrics



Dave Guard/Gretchen Guard

I met a nice old man today, oh, yes, oh, and he sure had a lot to say, a good long time ago.
I've led a soldier's occupation, oh, yes, oh, in every part of this big nation, a good long time ago.
I've seen the world and roamed its placed, oh, yes, oh. I guess I've been in a million places, a good long time ago.
But there are times when soldiering gets lonely, you long for friendly company.
So when you find an unfamiliar city, here's advice that always worked for me.

When your train gets into town, oh, yes, oh, just make a bee line to the pound, a good long time ago.
Don't just wander helter-skelter, oh, yes, oh, seek the nearest animal shelter, a good long time ago.
You soon will find the truest of companions. A little dog can melt a heart of stone.
Just when you think you're up a dreary canyon, a puppy's love can bring you close to home.

Find a store and buy some twine, oh, yes, oh. Now tie the doggie to the line, a good long time ago.
Thus prepared for any weather, oh, yes, oh. Dog and man will stand together, a good long time ago.
For mothers warn their daughters of the dangers of soldiers in their quest for girls.
Never, never speak to strangers unless their from the canine world.

A sweet young maid in passing by, oh, yes, oh, saw my smile but made no reply, a good long time ago.
The puppy fixed his gaze upon her, oh, yes, oh, two steps more and she was a goner, a good long time ago.
The sands of time have swept away the heart aches, the tears, the parting, and the pain.
The pup I gave her for a keep sake will always remind me of what's her name (what's her name?)

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I agree with 'cheftjcook' about seeking out a good ACTIVE church. Talk to one of the Ministers telling them that you are a blacksmith and offer to bring your 'set up' to church and do a demo for the children and/or youth. Lots of fun and you will most likely find some one interested enough to ask about coming to your place to learn more of the art...new friend.

Be a friend to get a friend. Not to offend previous posters on this thread but staying inside at a computer only gets 'virtual' companionship. (I do agree that you have to like ourself.)Get out of your 'comfort zone' and expand yourself. There are a ton of good areas you can volunteer at that would give you lasting friends and you can make an impact on someone else. Good luck. Loneliness is not a good thing.

Didn't mean to preach.

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Since you asked...


What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.


My cure,

Don
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Sam,

It is obvious that you have an outstanding personality. With that in mind, it won't be long till you make a few enduring friendships and many aqauintances. I have 3 people that I would classify as friends and several that I classify as aquaintances. An acquantance is who you call at 3 am to bail you out, but a true friend will be right there with you. :D LOL

I remember wishing to meet more people and to be the life of the party. Then I realized that I am who I am and I should accept the fact that I will never be the life of the party, but I have developed a few lifelong friends that would and have driven 1000+ miles to help out. That is true friendship and I wouldn't trade any of my three for a 100 fair weather heros.

Steve

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Try reading Henry David Thoreau's "Walden". Not only is it a great American book with chapters on all kinds of subjects, he also has much to say about being 'alone' but not 'lonely' while he lived in his cabin for two years and two months.His unique perspectives are absolutely uplifting!

James

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 years later...

Hey Sam,
since this is a very old post, do you have an update for us?

I probably know just how you feel since I have spent the better part of my 45 years single. I know full well what it is like to be in a room full of people, and feel alone. This usually only happens around family gatherings like Thanksgiving. This was mainly due to the fact i was the only single person left, and I was in the middle age wise-my brothers are 12/13 years older than me. When I am around strangers, I can usually find someone to talk with. I can strike up a conversation with just about anybody, and converse with them on any number of subjects. My Mom once told me that I was born with the gift of gab. This so called gift has made me a lot of friends over the years. To clarify that, I am friendly with a lot of people, but I have a small circle of true friends.

It is easy to get withdrawn,stay home, and putt around on personal projects, but I have found that getting out amongst the living makes a huge difference in how I feel. When I moved to Nevada after my folks passed away, I was looking to start my life over.

Now you would think that Las Vegas would be a great place to meet women, but I ain't Charlie Sheen. I wasn't getting anywhere by myself, then I found an activity website called www.Meetup.com This one thing has made the biggest difference in my social life. There are over 800 different groups in the Las Vegas area alone. I am now in over 20 groups, and any day of the week I can attend an event. Unfortunately my job relocated to LaVerkin Utah last year. The only thing I can say about Southern Utah is that it is socially repressed. Pretty scenery, but socially it is a vacuum. I feel like I am starting all over again. I still get into Las Vegas most weekends for things like First Fridays in the Arts District, my Vegas Artists Guild meetings, and Meetup events.

It surprises me how many people perk up when I tell them that I dabble in blacksmithing. Smithing is just one of my hobbies, I also do leather working, wood carving, ceramics, photography, and a few more. Being of a creative mindset I feel really comfortable at artist gatherings like First Friday.

IFI has also made a new friend for me. It was through here that I met Tim McCoy.

It wasn't until last year that I came to grips with the fact that I may never get married, or have a family of my own. It doesn't bother me that much now. I am who I am, and if someone comes into my life at some point, I will handle that when the time comes. Right now I am just concentrating on being happy with my life. Now that is a real challenge at the moment. Seems I am getting flak from all side presently. But THAT is a whole nother story.

My best advice is depending on what your loneliness stems from you just have to be you. If it is from being single like me, all you can do is get out more where women are likely gather(Meetup works). If it is just not having someone to hang with you just need to get out more (Meetup works again). In either case, just be yourself. By the way Meetup is free to join. Stay busy, too much time putting gives you too much time to dwell on things like this.

Good Luck!

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I'm with ladysmith on this one. I'm all about being alone except for my catahoula hound-Icey-.
Hell sometimes when out in public I feel like the only intelligent conversation I can get is if I talke to myself or Icey. That does not include those conversation centered around Colonial America both living in and blacksmithing or the relative merits of various adult beverages some of which I am on very intimate terms with.

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I agree with getting out and doing things.

There are likely blacksmith related activities and groups somewhere near you, such as:
- blacksmithing guilds/clubs
- art guilds/clubs/co-ops/art-festivals
- museums with metalworking displays, and/or historical blacksmithing shops needing volunteer or paid blacksmiths
- historic sites where you can set-up temporary equipment to demonstrate and/or sell hand-made stuff
- reenacting and/or living history groups with blacksmithing needs for the various time periods.

If all else fails, then take up martial arts or dancing and the ladies will find you.

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  • 7 months later...

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