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I Forge Iron

Great white birch jokes..


divermike

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ahhhh the roast is goin fine......pass the birch beer over HERE. Where's that line forming for the tree huggin dance lessons?. Frostilio........do I need to lead.........of just kick back and wait till that birch puts her limb on my shoulder an winks?


Not to worry Bill, I'll pick out your partner for next June come daylight. Heck, Great White Birch's tend to do their own kicking back no need to lead, just stand there humming a happy tune and I'll introduce you.

Frostillio
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Actually when felling trees you only yell timber if it looks like it's going to hit someone. It's like yelling fore when playing golf.

I'm pretty sure dialling 911 before felling a tree might be a good idea. I wonder what they charge for standby>

Brother you sure have it right about all the things I have to give thanks for. I think first thing on my thanks list is every morning.

Frosty

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And now back to the hunt, without the services of the formerly crafty great white birch hunter known locally as Frosty, we will have to the deadly creature on our own. We need to make sure all safety prrecautions are taken, so we spoke to Frosty's sweety De, she mentioned, never....ever... trying to tackle one alone!! And someone planning a hunt like this should ALWAYS let others know where they are. It helps to have mans best friend along as well. I hear some silly fellow actually tied himself to one, one time. Evidently the results were predictable!! So, with saws and capture equipment at the ready, we sojourn into the frozen outback. The wind moaning through the trees sets the scene for the intrepid hunters. Are the trees trying to scare us away??Word is there's a bounty on any relatives of the offending tree within ten miles of Frosty's pad. But we hear they can communicate, so maybe we should hunt a goodly distance away from his home, say Belize???

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Frosty, that Great White Birch really wanted to get you!

I would not feel safe until that tree was ground up into toilet paper and delivered to my door. Even then, I think I would watch out for splinters!!

Not very funny, but ya got to admit....it's a great visual!!!!!!!!

Glad you're back, Frosty :)

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The things some people will do just to get their friends and neighbors to do their wood cutting...

(I've been taking down a dead cottonwood by hand---bowsaw and every time I'm 25' up on the ladder and thinking about cutting a corner or two I think of the GWB and Frosty and try to figure a safe way to do it. 1 More main trunk to go!)

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Frosty I'm thinking you had better get somebody out there with a few gallons of blaze orange and get all them white birch trunks painted up quick because they're all camouflaged in the snow now with winter here.
We can't have unsuspecting folks getting snuck up on by any rogue birches...
Is that man eater still out there on the loose?
;) Welcome back tough guy !!!

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The Great White ... Birch that whacked Frosty is toast (currently toasting in the wood stove), but I agree it has "relatives" all over the place. Heck, we have 15 acres of relatives ... not all Great Whites, but birches nevertheless. They say even smaller species can be dangerous if you tease them.

These days, when I go outside at night, I always take one of the dogs with me - that way I'll be warned if a well camouflaged birch branch might be stalking me. Oh wait ... I got that backwards. I go outside *because* the dogs need to go out (potty breaks, don'tchaknow). OK, so maybe I am protecting THEM from the Great White ... birches.

Too bad all our current dogs are girls ... if we still had a BOY dog. I'd get him to pee on the birches. ;)
-De

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better watch out Frosty, this may turn into a real fued, kinda a Hatfield - Mc'Coy thing!! And now in this corner....The grrrrrrreat white birch, STALKER EXTRORDINAIRRE, and in the other corner, the Crusty Codger Frosty, fully recovered, and ready to do business, are you rrrrrrready to rumble?????

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And now back to the hunt, without the services of the formerly crafty great white birch hunter known locally as Frosty, we will have to the deadly creature on our own. We need to make sure all safety prrecautions are taken, so we spoke to Frosty's sweety De, she mentioned, never....ever... trying to tackle one alone!! And someone planning a hunt like this should ALWAYS let others know where they are. It helps to have mans best friend along as well. I hear some silly fellow actually tied himself to one, one time. Evidently the results were predictable!! So, with saws and capture equipment at the ready, we sojourn into the frozen outback. The wind moaning through the trees sets the scene for the intrepid hunters. Are the trees trying to scare us away??Word is there's a bounty on any relatives of the offending tree within ten miles of Frosty's pad. But we hear they can communicate, so maybe we should hunt a goodly distance away from his home, say Belize???


That is one solid plan Mike, good thinking. How about this, I'll scout and document all the Great White .. . Birch denizens of Belize this winter while you and your stalwart companions reduce the dangerous breed of tree around my place here.

That's a plan I can live with. Frosty
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Hay, Anbody seen Frosty? Yea, he's over under that birch tree taking a nap!

I'd like to give a few politians the "Frosty" style of kickback sometimes...

Glad to have you back Frosty!

Sorry for the bad jokes but you kinda asked for it:D


Oops! Sorry, I hadn't seen you already planned on starting a Kickback School for politicos. Need an instructor?

Frosty
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The things some people will do just to get their friends and neighbors to do their wood cutting...

(I've been taking down a dead cottonwood by hand---bowsaw and every time I'm 25' up on the ladder and thinking about cutting a corner or two I think of the GWB and Frosty and try to figure a safe way to do it. 1 More main trunk to go!)


Cutting the corners? On a cottonwood? Good grief, what kind of trees grow in your part of the world Thomas? I've never seen a tree with corners.

On the other hand I guess felling trees from the top of a 25' ladder ensures you'll be thrown well clear of any kickbacks?

Got videos?

Frosty
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Dan: I'm applying my own version of Blaze . . . orange to the Great White . . . Birch. It's no longer on the loose looking for victims, it's sleeping peacfully in the wood tent, our wood box by the stove and taking turns like any well mannered birch at sleeping IN the stove.

Of course you'd know this if someone didn't balk at the idea of me supplying a pic of me warming my buns at the Jotul.

Frosty

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Frosty, I am just glad you made it out of the woods. You really had a lot of people worried.


Me too!

You know what they say, Frosty can crawl out of the woods hisownself but it'll take a team of surgeons, two hospitals and a few days to get the woods out of Frosty!

Frosty
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I'm glad the wood made it out of him!


My goodness Grant! What do you know about my wood? How'd you find out? And why are you talking about it on a public forum?

For the record, I may not fare too well playing stick quiz with a Great White . . . Birch but my wood is just fine thank you.

Frosty
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