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Great white birch jokes..


divermike

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reading another thread here got me to thinking, NOW FINALLY that Frosty is on the mend.. heh.. and the fact that he has such a good sense of humor, I thought we could honor him with an IFORGEIRON roasting.. so c'mon guys and gals, let's let him have it with some good jabs and pokes.

Duhhh dunt... duhhhh dunt... duhhh dunt, look out!!! get out of the forest, it's coming aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! munch crunch, the attack of the great white birch!!!! rrrrruuuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!

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Hello, and thanks for watching the nature channel. Today we are deep in the Alaskan wilderness, attempting to locate the fabled, "Great White Birch"! Legends abound in this area, about this cunning trees abilities. It has been said that it waits patiently for it's victims, biding its time, until an unwary woodcutter strolls along. Then when its victim least expects it, it lets out a horrible scream, freezing its victim in place, then delivers a whallop, breaking bones, altering facial features, and removing memories, making hash of grey matter, and just generally being a pain in the rear. A recent victim known as AKAFROSTY, something of a local legend all his own, was hospitalized for several weeks, and if not for his faithful companion Deb, might not have made it at all. We asked him to take us out for the hunt, but when asked, he rolled his eyes up in his head, began quivering, slobbering and making incoherent noises. Stay tuned as the hunt continues, after these brief messages from our sponsors, Splints -R- us... Bandages plus, and Skingrafts incorporated.

Edited by divermike
just couldn't pass up a little more!!
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You boys are pretty rough - I hope he's laughing...

Frosty was giving me grief for mashin' my hand in a power hammer then he goes and gets his butt whipped by a tree, go figure. Glad you are back, mi amigo.


You're joinin in Hollis? Darn I AM in for it! I gotta say this feels so MUCH better than all the messages saying how sorry someone is I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Let er rip Hollis, I'm still alive in spite of everything. I'm loving life, let it rip gang, I'm sure I deserve it.

AKFrosty57 is the handle Deb had to settle for when signing me up with a Yahoo E-mail acct so I could do some surfin at the hospital. This is MY home comp and is signed on under my old handle. If you see AKFrosty57 it just means I'm downstairs on Deb's laptop . . . Computer! Not HER laptop!

Frosty
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Alaska used to be owned by Russia and in Russia the Tree cuts you!


WOW! I'm sure glad I don't live in Russia. This particular average size Great White . . . Birch did a pretty thorough job just clubbing the xxxx out of me! They don't need no blades! :o

Det cord next time? Anyone want to come visit while I'm playing with high explosives? :rolleyes:

Frosty Edited by Glenn
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You ever notice nasty attacks get funnier the farther away and the more healing that happens?

I am hoping there was a great bonfire to celebrate Frosty's home coming!! ... ordinarily I would suggest roasting the offending creature.. but I am not up for that much fiber..

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Well Mike, you've stumbled onto something most every Alaskan knows from a young age. All Alaska's wildlife has a place. . . Right next to the potatoes. The Great White . . . Birch has it's place too, right under the BBQ grill!

This reply brought to you by my sponser.

Gray Matters!

Frosty

Hello, and thanks for watching the nature channel. Today we are deep in the Alaskan wilderness, attempting to locate the fabled, "Great White Birch"! Legends abound in this area, about this cunning trees abilities. It has been said that it waits patiently for it's victims, biding its time, until an unwary woodcutter strolls along. Then when its victim least expects it, it lets out a horrible scream, freezing its victim in place, then delivers a whallop, breaking bones, altering facial features, and removing memories, making hash of grey matter, and just generally being a pain in the rear. A recent victim known as AKAFROSTY, something of a local legend all his own, was hospitalized for several weeks, and if not for his faithful companion Deb, might not have made it at all. We asked him to take us out for the hunt, but when asked, he rolled his eyes up in his head, began quivering, slobbering and making incoherent noises. Stay tuned as the hunt continues, after these brief messages from our sponsors, Splints -R- us... Bandages plus, and Skingrafts incorporated.
Edited by Frosty
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Heat with Natural gas...It's safer than the Great White Brick, oops Birch!!!!


Are you saying Nat gas in Ohio doesn't explode? I've never heard of a house in Alaska being blown all over the neighborhood by a Great White . . . Birch explosion.

Frosty
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You ever notice nasty attacks get funnier the farther away and the more healing that happens?

I am hoping there was a great bonfire to celebrate Frosty's home coming!! ... ordinarily I would suggest roasting the offending creature.. but I am not up for that much fiber..


This particular Great White . . . Birch got bucked and split into stovewood by a group of men from our church. Fack is, it's cheerily crackling away in the Jotul as I type.

Heck, as soon as I stop laughing enough to safely walk down the stairs I think I'll go down and moon it. Winter is the season for bun warming you know.

Frosty
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