Safety while hiking in bear country:

1. Wear a bell around your neck to alert the bears that you are in their area so they will stay away from you.

2. Carry full strength bear deterrent pepper spray at least 15% capsium. (pepper)

3. Inspect all bear scat (poo).

You can tell its bear scat because it will have bells in it and smell like pepper. :D

Don't tell any lies and you wont have to remember what you said.

Definition of stress:

"The conflict created when one's mind overrides the body's temptation to slap the stuffin' outa some jerk that desparately need it!"

anonymous

Definition of Diplomacy: Being able to tell someone where to go , and having them look forward to the trip

You can lead a horse to water but you cant make a duck wear a saddle.

You can sit next to a chicken but you can`t lay it`s eggs.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can`t pick your friend`s nose.

Aint but two can`ts around here.If you can`t handle it,you can`t stay.

Have you ever been doing a repetitive job, been most of the way through it and said " Hey it would be so much easier if we did the rest of them this way....." and promptly forgotten what the new easy was was ??

Also there is no object so expensive it cannot be used as a hammer...... some are ineffective... but lets not be picky...

Has anybody else noticed what happens after a bunch of guys moving something heavy yell "RAMMING SPEED!!!"

Just a few words of ... folly ...

and I loved "If you smell something stupid burning .. let go..... "

Cliff

The Rules:

1. It is hot.
2. It is still hot.
3. I warned you twice, it is your own xxxx fault if you burn yourself.
4. More Tequilla!


Note: Rule 4 came into play after all the smiths at one hammer-in decided to do a shot and emptied the bottle before it made a full round... It was added for comedic value only. Forging drunk is a BAD idea, but if you get drunk on one shot... well, that is your own problem

I can't never did nothing.

Hard tellin,not knowin.

Everything important I learned in life, I learned in the 9th grade.

That was the hardest 4 years of my life.

Mark<><

Not to mention Carpe carp. But I'm not much of a fisherman

me neither...

but ive always supported the "catch, fillet, and release," rule..

Eagles may soar, but gophers never get sucked into jet engines.

One who smiles in the face of adversity has yet to grasp the situation, or has a scapegoat.

Deny every thing, and if that does not work - blame the airforce :D

If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.................

There is no mixup a grinder can't fixup.

Weld and paint will make it what it ain`t. ;)

I know all to well about that one. I bought a truck once with a spiffy new paint job, probly an Earl Shieb, the engine had been steamed cleaned like new. After a week buyers remorse ruled , the engine was shot.........

Years ago I was watching a karate ranking exam. Participating on the examiner's panel were karate masters visiting from Japan. Each person being tested was provided with a helpful piece of advice by a visiting master. One lucky person received this piece of oriental wisdom,

"You no block, get hit in face".

I believe this very concisely sums up life. ;-)

True story.

NEVER take a laxative, and a sleeping pill on the same night.

I heard "NEVER take a laxative in the hay fever season"

But Officer he kept beating my hand with his face!

Lol Ian

Maximum effective range of an excuse-zero meters.

My grandfather used to say.
If it can't be fixed with a hammer It ain't worth fixing.

Keep on doing what your doing and you will keep on getting what you got.

I feel allot more like I do now, than I did awhile ago........................Believe it or forget it.....................

Don't worry, its Art, and he'll be here in a half hour to explain all about it.....

Cliff

Looks like this thread has included ''Brain Teasers'' as well.........:wacko: