Work, Family and Health

[natenaaron]

  This has been a tough week.  First the phone issues started Friday
Monday began with an urgent e-mail asking why I submitted a grant in the wrong format.  After being told, by the entity I was submitting it to that it was right and NOT to do it the other way.  They extended the deadline, because the application was done and as long as nothing was changed. The grant got submitted the way i was not supposed to do it.  Crazy stressful though.

Tuesday was one of those days where everything I did accomplished absolutely nothing.  A nonstop day where I was constantly interrupted and pulled onto other things

Wednesday I start getting frantic calls from out of the country, No cell phone usage at work.  Later that night I was informed by my wife who was getting the same freak out calls, that the emergency was a relative making Christmas Travel plans.  We were not expecting them this year.  Apparently there were discussions with other family members and it was decided that my wife and I would host.  We were not included in these discussions.  Apparently it was done on Facebook.  My wife does not use it and I only use it very sporadically.  Tickets have been purchased, we had no plans except relaxing so, ok, but then the other shoe dropped, One group has toddlers and their parents needs must be met (not necessarily the toddlers').  We have the space but our house is not toddler proofed at all.  Our boys are 11 and 14.  It wasn't toddler proofed when we moved in.  My father-in-law had no desire to toddler proof so never did.  A waste of time according to him. Then we were told that the back room, that has been used for storage for 20 something years (long before my wife and I moved here to take over the family business) needed to be emptied out so the toddlers would have a room separate from their parents.  Parents don't want to be woken up.  They are planning to put toddlers in this room in the winter and the heater has not been turned on in over twenty years as well.  The last time we turned on one of the old base boards, in a different room, it darn near burned the house down.  These people know this.  Is it written somewhere that I have to love my wife's family? because at this moment they can go take a leap.

To top it all off, this morning I found out I am in the early stages of Glaucoma in one eye.

I really need to heat up some metal and beat the poop out of it.  Not make anything, just beat on it.

[Glenn]

The one thing that people DO NOT get is, you marry and move away, and start your own home, YOUR HOME !!

The first thing we did was to purchase a kitchen table with chairs. I insisted that there be only one chair with arms and it be placed at the head of the table. That was the chair where the HEAD of the house sat. The first holiday meal was a real eye opening experience with both sets of parents attending. They could not decide who was to sit at the head of the table. Instructions were given, her parents on one side and my parents on the other side, wife at one end and I sat in the chair with the arms. The second surprise was no TV during dinner. The TV was turned OFF so we could enjoy our meal and concentrate on the food and friendship.

My suggestion is that it is YOUR HOUSE, and only you and your family make the rules for your house.

If the visitors want to rearrange the furniture, throw out your favorite chair that shows signs of wear from raising a couple of kids, and then paint the walls plaid, you should have the final say. If they want you to move the smithy and your motorcycle out of the garage, so they can park their van inside the garage and out of the weather, you should have the final say.

If your home is not toddler proofed, then you MUST consider the consequences. Will the toddler get under the cabinets and into chemicals that could cause harm, eat the dogs food, eat small items you missed, get into drawers, and the list just goes on and on. Who will be responsible for any injuries or any hospital bills?

My suggestion is to contact them, and say you would very much like for you to visit, but are not able to accommodate their needs. This includes lights out and TV off at 9:00 pm so the toddlers can get to sleep.

Provide them with numbers for nearby hotels. Suggest a list of interesting places, and ask which they would be interested in visiting so you can make reservations. Keep them busy, and treat them well, in fact treat them great while they are there. Make it a vacation to remember for you both.

YOU offer to pay the hotel bill, which most likely will be less than the cost of rearranging and child proofing your home, missing that one choke hazard the toddler will find, and a call to 911.

One of the best examples is to reverse the process, you go visit them, without asking, and suggest that they make the same accommodations that was suggested to you.

Let us view this on another level. If someone was to visit your smithy, cleans it up, puts all the tools away, and them moves the anvil, power hammer, and forge to a new more ergonomic and easier to use location, would you be happy? Do not answer that as we already know the  answer.

Sitting in the chair, with the arms, at the head of the table, comes with responsibility. It is YOUR HOUSE and YOUR RULES.

 

 

[JHCC]

What Glenn said. 

[Steve Sells]

same here, dont let them pressure you,  put the blame on those that volunteered you

[Frosty]

I have some relatives like that they seem to think imposing on you is your life's dream. How about this. Tell them that seeing as you've already made plans BECAUSE you weren't included in this holiday's family plans you are going to have to cancel one set. THEN submit a bill for cancellation fees from some expensive lodge and doings.

Submit the bids for remodeling an unheated storage room to make it meet code for their children's: safety, comfort, and entertainment. Oh heck the whole house has to be toddler proofed, get bids, you need bids it will run tens of thousands! Don't forget to include a new roof for the house as it must, just MUST match the one over their darlings. It'll also need new egress windows and doors, security system and monitors . . .  Oh you get the idea. Say yes you'd be DELIGHTED for the visit no matter how unexpected. Let them decide to spend it elsewhere.

Try not to forget to tell them local lodging is booked through spring or something.

My deadbeat relatives stopped asking me for loans and such when I started saying no without listening to the sob stories. I hate to admit it but I have relatives I wouldn't associate with at a reunion. Tell me, would YOU call your uncle and ask for a $5,000 loan to buy pot? I told that little darling if they ever called for something that stupid again I'd call the cops.

Frosty The Lucky.

[natenaaron]

After the Glaucoma news this morning I am staying away from phones and any communication with anyone but immediate family.  It is not cancer and it won't kill me but my vision is really that important to me.  Knowing I am going to go blind is awful.

As for contacting the family and letting them have it I am waiting for my wife to calm down a little.  Her mom and dad have passed.  All she has, really, are these two people.  I will leave it up to her.  She was just telling me the other day how she envied me being able to talk to my mom and dad.

[Frosty]

Glaucoma isn't the sentence to blindness it was a few years ago and treatment prices are coming down.

Deb just lost her Father a few weeks ago, 2 weeks before his 90th. B'day celebration. I lost my folks a few years back and still envy Deb's large family, she talks to her sisters all the time, her Mother is still around, she has uncles and aunts and their kids, grandkids, etc. My older Brother passed two years ago, my older sister has managed to estrange herself from the whole family, her kids ask me for advice. That leaves me and my younger Sister as family.

So, okay my advice for a family holiday blowoff is more suited to some of my maternal cousins. I'm sure there are more . . . acceptable ways to tell your relatives to get real.

Frosty The Lucky.

[Charles R. Stevens]

I am on point with Glenn. But my take is just a bit different. This your wife's home as well as yours, and this in no way respects you or your wife. Disrespect me? No problem, I have no problem lining you out. Disrespect the lady of the house,  and I will unserimoniusly show you the door. Threw my mother in law out of the house once, about a week after I threw my mother out. But I'm a bit perticular. 

 

 

 

[SLAG]

Three million Americans have glaucoma. Glaucoma is NOT a one-way trip to blindness. It is, in most cases, treatable by; 

1) medication,  (there are 6 different classes of medication that treat glaucoma, each class works on a uniquely different physical pathway of treatment.) And each pathway has more than one different drug. that does the job.

2) Laser treatment.There are four different types of such treatment

And/Or

3) Surgical methods. There are four different types of surgical procedures available for use by the ophthalmological specialist.

There is a bright side to the crummy news you just got. Only one eye is affected, and your condition was discovered early. Which means that the damage to the optic nerve is probably minimal. 

I strongly suggest that you consult with the best ophthalmologist in your area. Get a thorough examination, and work up done. And learn as much about the condition, as possible, from your specialist and from reading. (thank the Lord for the internet).

Treatment is usually lifelong, but often it consists of taking regular eye drops.

Glaucoma is a serious business. Stopping treatment, or not adhering to its requirements can lead to vision loss and sometimes blindness. I hope that the  preceding information is of some assistance and somewhat reassuring.

SLAG.

[natenaaron]

I read that.  I hope it is true.  On the other hand a know someone who was diagnosed very early and was totally blind in that eye in 3 years and now has it in the other eye.  Maybe he did not do everything he was supposed to but he said he did.  Another thing working against me is the fact that this is not hereditary for me, so something else caused it.    My fingers are crossed and I can hope but right now I am not in the place to see the silver lining yet.

Thanks SLAG  

[SLAG]

Nate,

I strongly suggest that you consult with or talk to a medical practitioner about this medical condition. Rest assured that my posts are well researched, before I "send" them. Also, my science sources are air tight. (often front line journals). I had to do so when I was a research scientist and then in my patent law practice. And I am still reading after my recent retirement.

I do not write replies just to make readers feel good.

It is unfortunate what happened to your friend. But, I suspect that he may be in a decided minority population of patients.

Also the majority of glaucoma patients have not contracted the condition because of heredity. Yes, certain minorities have a higher chance of getting it (for example, Orientals, Inuit , (a.k.a. Eskimos,), and African Americans). Being overweight, or suffering from high blood pressure, or aged, can raise the possibility of contracting the condition.

To summarize, do not take my word for it. Confirm what I am suggesting. The sooner that you do so the sooner you will have some piece of mind, and devoting more time to hammering iron

Glaucoma is a serious business and should not be taken lightly.

Regards,

SLAG.

[ThomasPowers]

Not a good week for me either; got back from Vacation late Tuesday night and went into work Wednesday, worked a full day; but had my laptop go on the fritz after lunch---ran my cell phone dead talking with remote IT with no resolution.  Had to buy food as the cupboard was bare after the vacation and so stocked up and made a quick pass by the used book store.  Had a good one in hand and that's all I remember till waking up in the ambulance and vomiting; just got out of the hospital Friday night as the it was only a "minor brain bleed", MTBI, but sure had a stack of tests done on me! Looks to have been an insulin crash with me hitting the concrete hard---luckily I missed that part.  Though they had to give me a double IV dose of antiemetic to get me flat for the first MRI  

I'm going to have to postpone my blacksmithing class for a while as the Dr's want me to take it easy for a couple of weeks ... All the food got thrown out too as a couple of days in a hot truck was too long...

[SLAG]

T. P.

Get well soon, sport.

I.F.I. needs you.

SLAG.

P.S.   what does M T B I stand for? I remember that m t b stands for motor torpedo boat, in navy parlance. But I do not think that is the meaning in your post.

[ThomasPowers]

Mild Traumatic Brain Injury;  the countercoup area was bleeding but only a little.

On the plus side they ran  a slew of tests that showed that the rest of the systems were looking really good---the cardiologist even remarked that my heart was much better than she expected from someone who was diabetic. no signs of epilepsy on the EEG, carotid arteries clean, no stenosis or aneurysms  in my brain arteries. Now if I can just stop slamming my head on the concrete floor...wife is spooked and is hauling me off to Albuquerque for a week to keep an eye on me.  I did get to point out that I have good proof that I actually have a brain---she says the Y chromosome means I just use it for a basket ball...

[Charles R. Stevens]

Carful, she might buy you one of "those" helmets....

Sandy found out that Metfomin and not eating all day doesn't mix, especially falowed buy two cans or pop. 

Some days I am glad I am just crazy!

[ThomasPowers]

I ascribe my luck to the absence of the Black Birch!  Trees around here are more likely to scratch you with thorns than slam you in the head.  Now I need to start watching out for concrete sneaking up on me...

[SLAG]

T. P.

Thank you for defining the acronym. I appreciate the response.

I strongly suggest adding a little turmeric to your diet. (i.e. the yellow stuff found in curry powder. But you know that stuff). Also, some cinnamon, occasionally. Both spices are neuro-protective. If you don't care for turmeric's taste hide it in spaghetti sauce. No one will notice. And you do not need much of it, for it to work.

SLAG.

[Charles R. Stevens]

Interesting tidbit Slag. 

The question I have for Thomas is exactly how much damage did you do to that floor?

[SLAG]

Senior Stevens,

Would you please do me a favor.

Please inform Mr. Powers that a hammer is used for pounding  metal on the anvil, the head should better be utilized for aiming said hammer. And the concrete floor looks just fine as it is.

It does not redecorating, yet.

Thank you,

SLAG.

[Charles R. Stevens]

I will pass along your advice Master Slag. 

Master Powers, in future please restrain from attempting to incise cement floors with your skull. Your sharp wit is better utilized elswere.  Paticularly as the CNC controller for a forge and anvil. 

Regards, the "Management"..

 

 

 

[ThomasPowers]

The concrete floor suffered much less damage than I did---not like the time the college students dropped my 134# HB on it's nose at the Fine Arts Metals Building---that left a divot.  I merely have a large hot bump with some amusing bruising sinking down into my neck, a trace of subarachnoid bleeding, an elbow that is "pretty like sunset" and various side effects of playing squash with my brain. 

I shall take your suggestions under advisement and in turn advise one and all to not do this sort of thing!

[Charles R. Stevens]

And how could we avoid such a "lost time" accident in the future?

[JHCC]

natenaaron, given that some folks recommend marijuana as a treatment for glaucoma, maybe you should speak to Frosty about that loan. 

the REAL management and owners of I Forge Iron neither condone nor oppose any medical treatment suggested, and the comments presented are only those of the person posting. Except for the part about Thomas refraining from slamming his head into the concrete floor again, that we support and agree with whole heartedly

[SLAG]

Senior Stevens,

a. k. a. "The Management",

Thank you so very much for passing on my suggestion to Herr Powers.

He seems to be taking it under advisement.

If standard anti-"lost time" measures prove to be unsuccessful with T. P. there is always anesthesia, restraints, and bed rest.

Hopefully such extreme measures shall not prove necessary.

Again, thanks Charles.

SLAG.

[Charles R. Stevens]

Possibly we could take up a collection to provide Mrs. powers with a cattle prod (I considerd and discarded the idea of a tazer, as this could lead to another interaction between TP's skull and a hard floor) tho considering how much she might enjoy using it, a good shock collar might be an alternative...  

As to Master Aaron, as maryjane is a mild halusinigine, I think that could leed to his forge work taking a most interesting turn. This may or may not be a good thing (tho I suspect not). 

Tho considering the impending visit buy his wife's relations he may find some kind of mood enhancing chemicals useful.