March 20, 200818 yr You forgot the Scrappile of rusty ragged death . And having charged bare naked and carrying a spear across our living room toward someone breaking into our house at the front door I am not so sure that having a gun is better for as Dorthy Sayers put it so eloquently "A bullet can end up anywhere but a blade is bound to end up somewhere". If we had had a dog I would probably not even had to get out of bed. I had a 190# anvil stolen from my back yard in the city with small yards and 5 houses in view before too.
March 21, 200818 yr Author Thanks Tom, Here My wife always gets on me for my tendancy to go room to room with a butcher knife's blade "cupped" in my forearm hollering "clear" as I proceed through the house. Usually buck nekid. Nothing strikes terror into the heart of an attacker like a short, stumpy, hairy, and very much naked Italian coming after them with a butcher knife. -Dan
March 21, 200818 yr As far as the shop goes, I worry more about trespassers getting hurt and sueing me, which is a real possibility in today's society. I can't manuever well in it in the daytime, I doubt anyone could at night without injury. Last year I woke up to lights in my bedroom window, and heard a car running outside. Upon glancing out the window, all I could see was an individual walking around my vehicle. Why? Who knows? All that I do know is this.......having a 300 pound, naked but for the camo cargo pants, barefooted, irate 'cause you done woke his tired rear end up, husband and father explain to you WHY you shouldn't be messing around his house at 2330 hours having some sort of domestic dispute with your ignorant significant other CAN AND WILL make the neighborhood yayhoo VERY APOLOGETIC! (true story) Sometimes you don't have to dial 911.;)
March 21, 200818 yr I feel the need to appologize to everyone for stirring up the political malestrom here, Im good at it, but not not being able to leave well enough alone.... 1. Being a lifetime NRA member, I say this, armed=citizen, disarmed=subject, thank God Im an American(albeit in a communist state for now)2. Individual freedoms(in the US) are not a left/right issue(communism/facism? LOL)3. We're only on this earth for a short time, stuff is just stuff we can always get more(and probably will) 4. I'm very serious about the possibilities of trained ATTACK GEESE, c'mon how many times have taken your kids to the park to feed the geese and for a little entertainment stuff thier pocket full of corn only to watch those little devils go all out chasing the child's around like mad to free the corn from thier pockets at any cost... and that mostly instinct. Just imagine if you contracted the GOOSE WHISPERER(also known as Mark) to come to your location and provide a customized training regiment for your flock. If fowl do not fit your needs let me tell you of ADSs'(Animal Defense Systems) newest program, SRT, the Squirrel Response Teams are a crack team of proffessionals posing as ordinary tree dwelling rodents, but let me assure you folks that our SRT is no bunch of ordinary tree rats, they are trained defensive machines. And finally the crown jewel of ADSs' program FATTS, the Feline Attack System, also known as the "little ninjas" for those wishing to have a more proactive security system the FATTS are the gold standard. So I urge you to give up you archaic means of security and step into the 21st century with ANIMAL DEFENCE SYSTEMS.
March 21, 200818 yr mmn defence geese.. should we forge litle blades to clip to their beaks then? interesting ... :-) you should disband the NRA and startup a NGA (national geese association) instead, mutch more effective... and you would actually have a more effective way of protecting yourself, than you would with guns.... seriously...
March 21, 200818 yr mmn defence geese.. should we forge litle blades to clip to their beaks then? interesting ... :-) you should disband the NRA and startup a NGA (national geese association) instead, mutch more effective... and you would actually have a more effective way of protecting yourself, than you would with guns.... seriously... Unfortunately Johannes my friend you are a little outdated, we've determined that, something as primitive as blades are only effective with the highly trained Feline Attack Systems, instead we rely on a peace through superior firepower method for our geese including standard flamethrower beak attachment and optional LAZER beam googles. Has too much free time at work VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
March 21, 200818 yr Author Mummmm Laser beam googles....... Well it looks like we're back to blacksmithing. No doubt you could throw a rheostat on those puppies and have a real good "spot welder".......... Yeah I'm a geek. -Dan
March 21, 200818 yr Mummmm Laser beam googles....... Well it looks like we're back to blacksmithing. No doubt you could throw a rheostat on those puppies and have a real good "spot welder".......... not to mention one slick laser cutter!Yeah I'm a geek. You're not the only one :cool:
March 21, 200818 yr not to mention one hell of a slick laser cutter! You're not the only one :cool: Well now Dan and Matt, you guys are getting the idea not only can I suppply state of the art security but shop help with amazing super powers. Now that a true multipurpose tool! - the goose whisperer
March 21, 200818 yr Well a neighbor has turkey's---huge male turkey's that chase the local kids around. I think they figured that I wouldn't fall for their "pecking order" stuff myself. For goose issues I bark at them---don't know if it confuses them or they all have had bad dog issues but it's worked for me.
March 21, 200818 yr Geese are good alarms for sure but easy enough to get past. They don't seem to realize how long their necks are so when the reach in to bite you just grab their necks behind their heads and lift them off the ground. They can't even give you a good beating with their wings without being on the ground. A little eye to eye talking to and they're good. for a while anyway. Dogs, we have dogs. Three house dogs and two livestock guardian dogs living with the goats. nothing and I mean NOTHING gets up the driveway without us knowing. No alarm system is better than the people backing it up. We have a useful selection of firearms and know how to use them. Proper gun control being never pointing one at something you don't mean to kill and being able to hold on your target in those times. Frosty
March 21, 200818 yr I prefer to employ Frank and Ace, the dynamic dog duo. They bark and act all tough, but at heart they are cowards. I have been hit by thieves twice in my life. I hate a thief, a lot. I mean,, really a lot. I lost a rather expensive firearm collection the last time. I have thought about getting a nasty pit bull/doberman/lion/alligator with a social disease.
March 21, 200818 yr I've four dogs. One blind Dachshund, one Dachshund who thinks she is Queen till someone, some dog or a stick that she steps on threatens her, one Beagle who will give you the key if you have food or anything she can swallow and a crippled Pit Bull mix. I'm on the job when the exterminator arrives at the house. The dogs are put in their kennel. The wife unlocks my shop for the exterminator. Several weeks later I discover a portable bandsaw and my hammer drill with hundreds of dollars worth of masonry bits are all missing. The crackhead hired by the exterminator company had taken it. I have his name on the invoice. No I did not go looking for him. Yes, I would have shot the man. No, I would not have beat him with my fist. He is a CRACKHEAD. I could get some sort of disease. He had taken the tools that I use to make extra money. He is still alive and I am not in prison. I simply took the loss and several months to calm down. It doesn't take someone breaking in to steal from you. Now no one gets the door to my shop unlocked for them unless they carry my fat self across the threshold. If the thief arrives at night the motion sensor trips the light in Big Ugly's (the dog) kennel and she races, as best a crippled dog can, out to the shop to investigate. The sight of a slobbering Pit Bull mix drunkenly weaving her way toward the shop keeps it theft free. Does that antique law cover wheel locks or rail guns?
March 21, 200818 yr 15 foot tall driveway gate two german shepards metal clad window shutters window grilles two good locks on the door motion sensetive lights and finally, nothing but a room full of obsolete machine tools bolted to the floor. no guns.
March 22, 200818 yr Does that antique law cover wheel locks or rail guns? YES! Also the 6 pounder(cannon) I plan to deploy on a trip wire.
March 22, 200818 yr Geese are good alarms for sure but easy enough to get past. They don't seem to realize how long their necks are so when the reach in to bite you just grab their necks behind their heads and lift them off the ground. They can't even give you a good beating with their wings without being on the ground. A little eye to eye talking to and they're good. for a while anyway. Frosty Thats where the laser beams come into play
March 22, 200818 yr Thats where the laser beams come into play Oh sure, that's what you WANT people to think. My tinfoil hat protects me from such puny earth technologies! The only mod I need to make is a pair of tinfoil shorts to protect myself from your laser goosing! HAH! Foiled again monkeyboy! Frosty
March 22, 200818 yr Oh sure, that's what you WANT people to think. My tinfoil hat protects me from such puny earth technologies! The only mod I need to make is a pair of tinfoil shorts to protect myself from your laser goosing! HAH! Foiled again monkeyboy! Frosty DRATS!! You crafty northerners and your METALING(sic), perhaps I should have went for the forged beak devices as dan suggested. Shewie, Now I know that we all have a serious problem not taking our selfs too serious, well.... at least some of us.
March 22, 200818 yr Ya'll Are Scare'n Me So Stop It ! Tin Foil Hats This Is I.F.I. ! We Use Iron Hats!:p
April 9, 200818 yr How bout' attack rat chihuhuhs, Logans style peanut shell alarm, tripwire triggerd Caltrop cannons or rabbid attack moose?
April 9, 200818 yr Shop Security.....most ideas have been covered in one way or another.... lock the doors and have good neighbors looking out for one another. The rest is best kept unadvertised, but 20 years military and a very fertile imagination works for me.
April 9, 200818 yr i dont own a key to my smithy ,it has no lock the only thing that is locked is the phone, the gas cutter lives outside attached to the bottles, and in 33 years nothing has gone. living on a island has its advantages .
April 9, 200818 yr Beware of Attack Moose Sign on forge door.... :-) Pic 1 if from the front porch a couple months ago. Pic 2 is from a couple years ago, about where the near wall of the shop is now. Pic 3 is General Cat keeping the troops straight. (not our picture) Pic 4 is the special forces winter warrior moose. Practically speaking though, attack would moose work okay if they weren't so darned YUMMY. Frosty
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