My Oldest Son Needs a Job

[Bentiron1946]

It may not seem like such a big deal finding a job but he is such a dud when it comes to interviews. He is just about out of unemployment again. He just doesn't get that you need to look halfway decent for an interview. I try to get him cleaned up for it, shave, shower, comb his hair, clean clothes, decent shoes and before he gets out of the house it looks like he rolled in pig pooh and smells like it too. What's man got to do to get it through his head that a job isn't just owed to him. It's something you got to work hard to get. I guess he got spoiled on his first job, he walked in the door and asked and they put a hat on his head, a shirt with a logo and an apron and set him to work making sandwiches for five years. Then the economy went south and the guy went bankrupt and he has been out of work for a long, long time now. Unemployment in his age group is around 18% here and he just doesn't get it that another job isn't going to land in his lap like his other one did. He is driving me up the wall! I need that he have a change of heart in his method of searching for a job, not a job but how he goes about it. God ain't Santa, so he don't need another job dropped in his lap. He needs change in his heart, pray for change.

[Glenn]

Set him up in the business to find a job. Leaves the house at 8 am and returns no earlier than 4 pm with a log sheet of where he has been and who he has contacted. Once back home he converts the days hunting to index cards or a 3 ring binder.

As he is looking for work, anything will do. Once you have a job it is much easier to upgrade to a better job.

Till then he is on the list.

[Tobago]

Good luck to both of you. This is a hard time for guys his age and all of us and our families. You are in our prayers.

Ted

[Dragons lair]

Have the son read this. I own my own shop. If ya want a job ya show up with your gear and dressed for work. Ya don't call and say Duh ya hiring. Ya don't show up claiming ya can do what ya can't. Had guys show up that tried to scratch start mig guns or switch started tig torches. Worse was when the state brought in 2 guys for a precision welding position. Only thing they knew about was a bernzomatic torch.You are only worth what ya can do. Rest of the guys/gals getting $20 you are offered $10. DO THE SAME WORK OR BETTER. I don't owe anyone a job. The stata or Govt Don't owe ya a job. Last guy who called said if ya don't hire me Ill file for disability. Hope ya do well cause I'll rat ya out.
Ken.

[jimmy seale]

been there done that..but my line of work was a little more "specialized". but i have been doing it for 30 yrs. but it has been my experience that when you land a job the offers start comming in...but such is life. any job now days is a blessing! any way good luck and you will be in my prayers. jimmy

[Frosty]

I think the good lord invented hunger pangs to help shape our attitudes. Maybe give them a chance to work?

As much as my folks loved us kids as soon as we were out of school we had to start paying rent or move out. That was Mother's rule, Dad was a softy but backed Mother all the way.

I don't want so sound cold hearted but life is what it is, success or even a full belly and dry spot to sleep isn't a right.

He's on the list here.

Frosty the Lucky.

[pkrankow]

I had to pay my parents rent as soon as I graduated college, job or not. (Admittedly rent was $100 a month, really more a token than anything as they still fed me). I had a hard time finding ANY job, let alone one in my field of study.

Part of his problem is probably that he is depressed about not working. Get him moving and out of the house off the couch or computer for a few hours a day. A little sweat does a mind good.

Alternately get him retrained into something that IS hiring. (I know, with what money...)

On the grooming, I don't know. Does he have necessary things-razor and supplies, soap, shampoo, deodorant? Does he do his own laundry etc? If he goes on a date is he the same way? Sell him the idea that job hunting is a bit like dating a woman, if you are rude and smell funny, she may not even finish the first date, let alone go on a second one.

Good luck, it is a tough world out there. The good news is the department stores are starting to hire temps about this time, and that is a job through new years with possible opportunity of continuing. He may also need to lower his standards and apply at every gas station, grocery store, and convenience store around.

Phil

[HWHII]

Good luck to you Bentiron. I have four sons and know your frustration. I have been lucky with the three older ones but my youngest one who is 18 is struggling also. I will pray for yours too.

[maddog]

I have three boys, all in their mid 30s now. You dont say how old your son is. I remember how difficult the ages 17 - 21 were. You still feel responsible for them but your ability to intervene is severely limited. You think they are kids and they think they are grown up We had considerable difficulty with my oldest. At the time we despaired of ever getting him on track. I regret now that I wasn't kinder and more patient. In the end, after some lumps and bumps he figured it out on his own and is doing great now.

I don't know the details but from your description I get the impression that your son is not very motivated right now. If he really wanted one of those jobs he would try harder. Perhaps he needs help finding out what he is really interested and setting his sights on that.

Being a parent is absurdly difficult. The responsibility is crushing at times. There is no manual. Other people will give advice but like everyone else, they are making it up as they go a long. And if you do it right, they don't need you anymore and leave

I wish you and your son the best.

[Marksnagel]

Bentiron,

I have three youngins 22-27 yrs old. As I don't know your family's circumstances I will offer you no advise other than to ask you to seek guidance from God. I will keep your son and your family in my prayers.

When I don't know what to pray for I just leave it up to God, he knows what we need. I don't give up but I turn control over to God.

I pray that your son learns what he needs to learn and that he finds a job that suits him and that you find peace in knowing that all will be taken care of.

Mark<><

[Bentiron1946]

Yeah, he feels about the lowest thing on the planet, a piece of whale dung in the Marians Trench. He has filled out so many applications and it is hard to do when they are only looking at the first fifty for a job opening and there are over a thousand applications for the position. I have driven him to several places and there have been lines three wide over a hundred yards long for ten positions. There is not much need for unskilled labor at the moment in the Phoenix Metro area. We are taking 30% of his unemployment check for room and board but little does he know that if he ever decides to go for some sort of training we will be using that money to help pay for it. If he doesn't decide to do that in the next year or two I guess we'll pocket it or use it to help him get an apartment if he ever gets a job. It's not easy when your area has no industry of any kind other than home construction or tourism. Almost all of the semiconductor work is now overseas and what little manufacturing work there is requires more skill than a high school education. Boeing isn't hiring, nor is Intel, Motorola, unless you have college. My wife and I both have college, my kids hate school, won't crack a book for nothing. I don't know what they expect from life. Of couse it would help if they had both oars in the water.

[rthibeau]

Mayhaps put him into the military?? They will train for any job and pay at the same time. Twenty year retirement isn't that bad a thing.

[Bentiron1946]

Military won't have him, not enough oars in the water. :blink:

[Ulric]

It's just ugly out there... I worked for Bakerhughes for 10+ years before getting the boot in the 3rd, of 4 rounds of layoffs in 09...then they had 3 more rounds this year.

AT first, all I was getting were responses from recruiters for positions on the other side of houston for 1/2or less of what I was making before. I should have been smart and taken on of those... its gotten tighter and it seems many of the openings now, are wanting Superman on a burger flipper salary. Saw a listing the other day, 'entry level' pest control...with a 4yr degree.

[Swamptroll]

Have him try the temp agencies. they can usually find something. He may not like the jobs but they are work and experience. A lot of employers use them to find permanent workers

[petere76]

Bentiron,

If your son can weld and can pass a qual test, Bath iron Works (BIW) in Bath Maine was looking for welders on the overnight shift. Not sure about the other shops (trades) in the yard are hiring but its worth a shot, give them a call. BIW pays around 20 USD per hour plus benefits for qaulifed welders. Some of the Maine guys from the coast might have a better handle on the yard openings, ask around.

[maddog]

... Of couse it would help if they had both oars in the water.

What does that expression mean?

[petere76]

Mad one,

Give the guy a break, rest up , take a day off from being a jerk its almost monday.

[maddog]

Mad one,

Give the guy a break, rest up , take a day off from being a jerk its almost monday.

I didn't mean to offend or hurt anyone. I am sincerely sorry if I did. This is a painful matter and I feel for Bentiron. I raised kids and I know the anguish involved.

I had never heard that expression and just wanted to know what it meant. It occurred to me afterwards to google it. Perhaps it was insensitive to ask but I wasn't alert to it. I am not a native born American and sometimes the slang gets by me.

Everyone gets to act like a jerk sometimes. Often without realizing what they have done. When that happens, it's usually enough to give a person a nudge in the right direction without having to imply that he does that all the time.

[pkrankow]

I suspect the expression means dim, misguided, or unmotivated. The military can fix unmotivated, but will often not want to touch severely misguided (problems with the law) or dim.