Encouragement Requested

[tjdaggett]

Smiths, I could use some encouragement. Circumstances are getting to me and I'm having a hard time getting through my workday and taking care of my family on the emotional and physical resources available to me. If it influences your encouraging at all, know that I'm a believer.

Thank you in advance. Y'all tend to be pretty uplifting. 

[ThomasPowers]

Our church is streaming their services now and funny thing, according to the metrics about 10 times as many people are watching as would generally attend church in person!  (More than would be in our small town "naturally".)  Can you attend such services?

As an introvert I do not struggle with isolation and if my wife and I get a bit tense;  I can go out to the smithy and just clean or work on something and the tensions recede.    With a knowledge of history you remember that things have been much worse over time and yet we have survived.  One thing that helps is to get away from the news and social media that is emphasizing the problems out there.  Before all this happened I remember a study that showed that people who watched the TV news believed that bad things would happen to people at 4 times the actual rate.  I used to tell my wife---Why is the News telling me about horrible crimes thousands of miles away in the USA that have no impact on my life?

And finally; try to take a walk, exercise helps purge stress toxins from the body.

[Glenn]

Turn off or at least turn down the media.  

Make a short list of things you have wanted to get done.  Choose the smallest on the list, direct your time and efforts to accomplish that task, and mark it off the list. One success down and you are now able to take on the next smallest task.  

Remember to pet the dog, play with the kids, and thank the wife for fixing dinner.

[ThomasPowers]

I've started forging flowers for my wife; gets me out of her hair; but lets her know how much I love her.

[notownkid]

First do as Glen suggest turn off the news esp. major networks, nothing they say can You do a single thing about.

X local news for a short time.  In our case we have been watching old TV shows and movies. 

Also do as Glen mentioned, pet the dog/cat/horse what ever, play with the kids and thank your wife for fixing dinner, then take your turn making a meal, wash the dishes after your wife has cooked.  Do some laundry, vac. the floors.  Give her a hand she is suffering as well.  And get exercise how ever you can even walking during the night.  Being told to stay in is most difficult,  We are 100 yrds from nearest neighbor, 23 miles 1 way to get groceries and try to be there at 6am for geezer shopping times. 

In Vermont we have been social distancing since 1885 someone said recently. Some of us have started calling friends some we have been seeing regularly before this and some we haven't, old class mates from 1964! army buddies from the late '60s , people who retired and left the area.  relatives.  We have about 20 people we call most weeks or every 10 days.  Up lifts them as well as you. 

It isn't easy to keep ahead of all this.  Smile. 

 

[Frosty]

TJ: We're here to talk to, we're all alone together. I agree, turn off the news, they have to compete for their market share so keeping everything as stirred up as possible sells more tooth paste and dish soap. I used to watch all the time, now I see all I need in a few minutes, I gauge how long I'll watch in the first few seconds. If it's the same faces and sidebars I check a different channel. Knowing the infected count here and around the world just makes a person jumpy. The local count is a LITTLE different, it makes a difference how many of my neighbors are sick.

I REALLY like Glenn's suggestion to prioritize the honey do list, least to greatest and start knocking them off one at a time. It's the same suggestion our couples counselor made to Deb and I. He suggested a dry erase white board hung in plain view. Don't erase finished jobs, just cross them off or put a check next to them. Believe it or not it feels GOOD to finish projects. Do NOT put pandemic precautions, etc. on this list!  ! Give those their own, maybe signs. Let the kids draw scary monsters on it. 

You really want to keep the Honey Done list positive, maybe have the kids draw happy pictures. 

Here's a thought, tell us what project you're doing today and how it turns out. I don't care how mundane it is, a finished chore is a good thing, spread the good things. 

Deb and I picked up dog poop that's been covered by snow all winter. It's the perfect thing to do with those plastic grocery bags, one to carry the pickins the other to wear over your hand so you don't have to use one of those ineffective poop scooper thingies. I have a treat bag that has a built in poop bag dispenser that clips to a belt loop.  I REALLY like the look of guilt I get picking up someone else's dog poop when they just walk off. On one occasion I was actually applauded by a lady and it was picked up by a few other folks. The person who was walking off  hid his/er face. I hope s/he got some poop bags. 

Anyway, that's what we did yesterday to make things a little better and there's another patch that'll be thawed enough to pick up today.

It's just a simple thing but feels good and I can use a little good feeling, Hmmmm?

Heck, maybe I'll vacuum before Judge Judy comes on. 

Do NOT let the foolish games being played by politicos around the world get you down. If your local representatives aren't doing the job, feel free to call the office and register your opinion. LOTS! Heck campaign for their replacement, I AM!  

Frosty The Lucky.

[ThomasPowers]

There are a lot of little chores that get put off, trying to get one done each day really makes you feel better---I changed out the heat lamps in the bathroom for CFLs Sunday.  We're supposed to hit 95 degF next week; we don't need the heat lamps on! (a previous owner tied them into the regular lights so they come on with the regular lights.)  I've been forging stakes to hold the fence down and in place to prevent dogs from getting out.  Just a couple at a time while I'm waiting for the forge to come up to temp.  Change the sheets and flip the mattress.  Do stuff that makes your life better!

[Irondragon Forge ClayWorks]

All of the above is good advice.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

[JHCC]

In the words of Winston Churchill (who, in addition to everything else he had to deal with, had a lifelong struggle with clinical depression), "If you're going through H***, KEEP GOING!"

[Mod note: an exception has been granted to the "no cussing" rule to accommodate a direct quote from a major figure of twentieth century history.]

[John McPherson]

A feedback loop can be positive or negative, stop and really look at all of the external input in your life, and decide how each input affects your mental state.

Someone far wiser than me once said that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. Turn off any source of negative news in your life, like social media and the main stream media, listen to good music, eat healthy food, and do something, anything as long as it makes your environment a little better every day. My local county dump site is seeing twice its usual volume because everyone is doing spring cleaning at once.

There is a home reorganization guru, Marie Kondo , who has a  minimalist school of thought that you should dump anything in your house that does not give you joy. That may be extreme for most of us, but we can turn down the volume of the stressors in our lives if we work at it. The sight of clutter and trash acts as an irritant to the psyche, and nags at us constantly. Yammering sales pitches,  internet idiots and political pundits just serve to increase your blood pressure. Sitting still with no outlet for nervous energy wrecks your sleep cycle.

I have been weedeating, mowing, gardening, sorting the new shop space, and generally getting the new homeplace looking more presentable in the evenings since I am working from home the last few weeks. I was commuting 100 miles a day, leaving in the dark, getting home in the dark, and having little energy left for yardwork on the weekends. The only TV we watch now is old movies and TV serials on Netflix, etc. and I filled the CD carousel with upbeat music. My wife has made washable masks for everyone in the family, and now is sewing masks for nurses and other public workers we know. 

It makes a change in how you feel when you have an accomplishment to look at, even if it is only important to you and your immediate family. We all feel better with a sense of purpose.

We are all here for you and each other. The rest is, as they say, non-essential.

[tjdaggett]

Thank you all. I'm hearing some Joel Peterson in this group, and I like it. 

Today, I worked nine hours. I also got my birthday list out to my siblings. I sang with my girls (wife and baby). I saw a fox and two turkeys on a walk in my suburban neighborhood.

[Glenn]

One thing to use as a litmus test:

If they are not paying rent, do not let them occupy space in your head. 

 

[John McPherson]

More like Jordan B. Peterson, actually.

First time I had heard of Joel Peterson, had to look him up.

[tjdaggett]

Josh, you have the right of it. Somewhere out there is a flattered Joel, but I was devoutly thinking of Jordan.

Glenn, I kid you not, that maxim is on a post-it by my desk with your name on it.

[Glenn]

Any time there is someone trying to push their agenda, ask yourself if they are paying rent. If not, turn and walk away.  If they are throwing negative vibes, trying to belittle, trying to whatever, ask yourself if they are paying rent. If not, turn and walk away.  Problem solved.  Watch your attitude rapidly change. 

Be careful as when you think about the person or event later, they are still in your head and NOT paying rent.  Shut the thoughts off, close and lock that door so they can not re-enter. 

Fill the space created with positive and productive material.  After all it is YOUR head.   

  

 

[ThomasPowers]

I tell my wife: If you don't agree with him; why are you letting him control your emotions and your reactions?  I'm also encouraging her to build a container garden as the grocery store has a bunch of plants suitable for one and working outside with living things is good for the soul.