If you can't seem to make ends meet, make one end a vegetable :)

I don't get it. Could you explain.

If at first you don't succeed, Read the Directions.

If all else fails, Start over.

If it doesn't look right, It probably isn't.

Sounds like Dodgy advice to me...

Thomas

lol--dodge i havent heard that pun before, but it gave me a chuckle :)

Thankyou, Thankyou. I'm here all week ;)

Not to mention Carpe carp. But I'm not much of a fisherman ;)

"The Grass is always greener over the Septic Tank"

"If your not the lead dog ...the scenery never changes much"

"Beauty is only skin deep.....But Ugly goes right to the Bone"

"Lord, Give me the strength to change the things I need to change, the ability to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to tell the difference"

Definition of stress:
"The conflict created when one's mind overrides the body's temptation to slap the stuffin' outa some jerk that desparately need it!"
anonymous

Dodge, liked the stress one!!!

Grandma told me "Child...Even a broke clock is right twice a Day"
I wonder if she was hinting about something...????

One of my favorites "Tis' better to light a candle, than curse the darkness"

And always Remember "Today is Yesterdays Tommorow"

If you push hard enough, it will fall over.

Everyone talks about sunsets, but it's really the horizon moving up.

Here's one of my favourites

It doesn't have to be red to be hot.

JPH

oh, I get it now dodge

Never hold a cat and a Dust Buster at the same time

Jim,
Absolutely! Some folks, myself included, far too often, learn this lesson the hard way;)

If at first you don't succeed, redifine success.

Yup,
Ya just gotta let some thing fester for a while sometimes and they eventually come to a head :)

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

"You can fool all the people some of the time
and some of the people all the time - But you can't fool MOM!"

If you smell something stupid burning LET go its HOT!

Never argue with a fool, it makes ya look stupid.

never argue with a woman...she's always right...

Peyton

If you smell something stupid burning LET go its HOT!

After I stopped snorting and was able to get up off the floor... I had to go tell my wife this one!

Learn to swing a hammer with either hand ,that way your shirts will fit right a year from now!

"Always feel for heat with the back of your hand before picking anything up. If you burn the back of your hand you can still work, but if you burn the front you're done for the day."

If it hurts when you do something, don't do it anymore.