Most outragious orders

[joshua.M]

what is the most outragious order you have ever gotten? mine was, a person emailed me, and asked me to make a "throwing" circular saw blade, he wanted me to cut holes and add fins to it for aerodynamics and to harden it to about 60rockwell to stop it from bending, and to keep it under $50 needless to say, i refused... so what is yours?

[j.w.s.]

I made a diablo (Chinese yoyo) for a performer a few years ago with blades for sides so he could cut a carrot held in his mouth. Does that count? I also get a lot of video game/ anime weapon requests... some people just dont understand how impractical some of these designs are but they always seem happy to have them. Price, well it seems most custom orders along these line have an understanding that it wont be super cheap.

J

[JNewman]

I had a woman call me who had had a tree fall on an antique cast iron urn she had bought in Europe smashing it to bits. The guys cutting up the tree had not recovered all the pieces. Her house was about 45 minutes from my shop and she wanted me to come look at it to repair it.

She wanted a cast iron urn missing pieces welded back together with the missing pieces recreated without damaging the "patina" . Apparently the urn had been painted multiple times and colours over the years and various layers were exposed and she wanted that maintained.

I told her I could make a pattern and have a new one cast and then have someone paint it to match, but it would be at least a couple of thousand. She was quite indignant that I could say that without even seeing the urn.

[Timothy Miller]

I am currently working for a NY artist that does some very outlandish things. That I am not really at liberty to discuss these projects due to nondisclosure agreements. One of his things is replication of historical artifacts. He has paid me large sums to copy old hardware down to the hammer mark. We are talking nuts bolts and rings all forged from wrought iron. I once spent a week on a U bolt. It had 1/2-9 threads in a nonstandard thread form and seams in the iron all of these things had to be replicated.

[Jacques]

She was quite indignant that I could say that without even seeing the urn.

I've had many phone calls from people that want to have things done, and after they explained to me what they want I told them approximately how long it will take and what it will cost. It tend to upset them, since they do not realise that most of the time restoration takes longer then making something.

My worst was quoting on a small job for "friends", and being told how outrageous that was (outrageous is the polite word). I was trying to be nice and only asked them material cost.

These days if somebody I know want to have something repaired I invite them to the workshop and tell them I will teach them how they can do it themselves (on a weekend of course). I'm still waiting for someone to take me up on that offer.

[JNewman]

I am currently working for a NY artist that does some very outlandish things. That I am not really at liberty to discuss these projects due to nondisclosure agreements. One of his things is replication of historical artifacts. He has paid me large sums to copy old hardware down to the hammer mark. We are talking nuts bolts and rings all forged from wrought iron. I once spent a week on a U bolt. It had 1/2-9 threads in a nonstandard thread form and seams in the iron all of these things had to be replicated.

As long as they are willing to pay the large sums that sort of work sounds interesting. This urn job could have been interesting to do but sounded like a good way to lose money when I got the reaction I got. She was talking about the insurance company paying and I cannot see an insurance company paying a couple of thousand for a cast iron garden urn when you can buy them in garden centers for $50 or less.

[Mainely,Bob]

My most off the wall inquiries have come from "conceptual artists". They all seem to think that if they can dream it then it can be easily (and cheaply) made.
One of the more interesting orders I got was to roll up a couple of rings for an armillary ( a type of sun dial) where the customer would supply the material. The guy showed up with some rusted and bent facing from the rails of an old marine railway. When I told him I`d trade my new steel even up for his old scrap and the labor would be cut in half (no straightening and grinding involved) if I used new steel he couldn`t understand why I`d do him such a favor. He couldn`t understand the difference between steel and wrought iron (what his thick, wide, lightly rusted flat bar was), but I understood just fine. We both came out of that deal smiling.

[nonjic]

I know one smith that specialises in bondage equipment, and another that makes large piercing 'rings', only suitable for men!

[Neil Blythin]

John N, that reminds me of an odd request I had in my other line of work (as a locksmith)... "discrete" handcuff removal, at 3 a.m.

[ThomasPowers]

Yes the B&D inquiries are "interesting" and if you have ever looked at what they charge for poorly tacked together mild steel at an "adult store" you can see that a market does exist.

I have never quite understood why folks think that hand crafted items made by a master craftsman should be cheaper than wally world third world hack jobs.

[clinton]

I made 20 crucifixion spikes for a guy once.

[chyancarrek]

For a variety of the reasons posted above, I stopped doing custom work of any description.
I make more money now . . . . go figure. ;)

[dablacksmith]

I made a diablo (Chinese yoyo) for a performer a few years ago with blades for sides so he could cut a carrot held in his mouth. Does that count? I also get a lot of video game/ anime weapon requests... some people just dont understand how impractical some of these designs are but they always seem happy to have them. Price, well it seems most custom orders along these line have an understanding that it wont be super cheap.

J

i get those various weapons from fantasy a lot... gotten to the point where if they start talking that direction i ask um for a historical reference to build off of .. most of um cant seem to differentiate between "history" and "fantasy" .. had a person ask for the arrow heads from a movie that had cgi arrowheads that looked like scorpions... I do custom but about half of the inquireies are not for items i can make or are willing to make ( i dont cast items and try to stay away from fab jobs) its a ongoing teaching experience to explain what i do (is that a real fire ?) and what i can make (can you make this only just plain) and where the cost in a product is (is it cheaper without the twist?) . when you show them what is involved it helps ... most people still think it should be cheaper but that is changing ... When i explain that my shop rate is the same as my motorcycle mechanics shop rate the price complaints go down...strange items ive made ... a brand that was a pair of lips.... i made a mini horseshoe for a stick horse and nailed it on( only horse ive ever shoed) .....

[Steve Sells]

had a job for a chastody belt and a custom design branding iron (both B&D type) the real freaky thing was when the girl and her "owner" wanted ME to brand her, I passed for so many reasons.

[ThomasPowers]

One problem with "adult items" is that I may not *want* to do the fitting required to do the job right...Other times my wife would DEFINITELY PREFER me not to do the fitting...

[Francis Trez Cole]

I had the pleasure to make a dozen matching Athame (daggers) for a Wicca coven.

[KYBOY]

15 Spike Tomahawks and some Bowie knives for a group in Singapore..

[joshua.M]

15 Spike Tomahawks and some Bowie knives for a group in Singapore..

no offence, but how is that outragious? i think that would be a cool oppertunity if the price was right

[KYBOY]

It wasnt really i suppose, just ffor the fact of where they needed it shipped to and the price of getting it there..Now "that" was outrageous <_< We have shipped a lot overseas(Singapore too) and have learned what might happen and where.. B) The language barrier and strict policys can cost you and your customer a lot of money if your not careful..

[ornametalsmith]

Had quite a few over the years..........first few that come to mind........... Two light fixtures.........that "look" like a childs hand holding a deer antler with bulb on top. They requested a "right and a left" hand.

Then there was the "Electric Pineapple".......lol....... I kid you not.


I'd forgotten about the crucifixion spikes until I read Clinton's post........ I had a request from someone to make 24 of them as "period correct" as I could. They were going to be Easter Gifts. She did some research.....told me the size......and that they needed to be forged from wrought iron. I only had some 2" sq. solid (w.i.)........so.......told them that it was available from England, but gonna be pricey. Much to my surprise.....the lady had a relative in England.......and she ordered a 20' piece of 1/2" sq.................the bar was $175........and so was the shipping.....she paid $350 JUST to get the 1/2" w.i. to FL............DOH!!!!!! some expensive NAILS, IMO.

[ThomasPowers]

Yup several types of customers: one you tell them the price for exactly what they want and you never hear from them again and the other---a much smaller group---ask if they can pick them up the next day cash in hand? (and the ones that show up but without the payment and want to know why they can't walk off with several thousand dollars worth of work...)

[Sukellos]

For me, forging is a hobby. If I do work for pay, then it becomes a "job" and is no longer as fun and relaxing. I'll build anything I can for a friend, church, scouts etc, pro bono. For the rest, when they ask, "How much would you charge to...?"
I name a ridiculously high figure. Of course, they'll ask, "Why so much?"
"Because I don't want to."

[Drewed]

...For the rest, when they ask, "How much would you charge to...?"
I name a ridiculously high figure. Of course, they'll ask, "Why so much?"
"Because I don't want to."

Reminds me of when I get requests to make swords. My standard reply is "Sure I can make a sword. I need $2000 down now, and another 2K when you pick in up in 2 or 3 years."

[ThomasPowers]

I like the one about "It will be $10 for one" "How much for 50 of them?" "$20 a piece!"

As I don't like production work they tend to get more expensive the more you want.

[ptree]

As a Jewler, I once had a job to make a chain outfit for a dancer. And since she had been enhanced, it took lots and lots of chain. The Rock heard about this after the fact, and asked me how many trial fits it took, and I told her I only had a fit once, the first time I saw her prance out in the chain:)