Katrina is over and the rebuilding and recovery is about to start, we need to celebrate all our friends coming thru it with no real injuries to their person.

Best way I know is to have something enjoyable like a humor party.

So I will kick it off with a few of my favorite one liner quips about intelligence, I am sure with all the quick witted people we have they will surely have some good ones.

1. The lights on but, nobody is home.

2. A few straws short of a load.

3. Playing with a deck of Jokers.

4. A few Cards short of a full deck.

5. 3 sandwiches short of a one man picnic.

6. A victim of cranial- rectal Inversion.

7. They were at recess when the Gene Pool was open.

8. Dumber than a rock.

9. Engage Brain before Operting Tongue.

10. Fishing without Bait.

remember to keep it clean now LOL :wink:
:wink:

............

1. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

2. Couple fries short of a happy meal.

3. Got one wheel out where the sand is soft.

4. Thinks Taco Bell is the Phone Company in Juarez.

5. Thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing development.

Older than dirt

1. Hotter'n two mice in a wool sock.
2. He's as sharp as a sack full of wet mice.
3. Loud as a fat pup's f$%t.
4. Two hollers short of a mile.
5. Tighter than old Dick's hatband.

(I'll come up with some more when my son gets home this weekend - he's lived in West Texas long enough to come up with a few good ones).

Two french fries and a pickle short of a happy meal.
Photographic menory but no film.

Here's one froma Newfie buddy of mine

"He's 'bout half a bubble off level"

If you're proud of a job well done then it's

"Smart like a smack in the face"

Gotta love Newfoundland English

1. As much use as a chocolate tea pot.

2. Sneaked into the gene pool when the life guard wasn't looking.

3. Soft as a boiled mouse.

4. If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.



one_rod.

There's a kangaroo loose in the top paddock

A few tacos short of a combo plate
Couldnt poor water out of a boot with instruvtions on the heel.
About as sharp as a bowling ball
Elevator doesnt go to the top floor
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

A buddy used to say that I was:

"Dumb as a fence post and twice as tough"

I always replied, "thanks, I think..."

:wink:

Question: "Just how stupid do you think I am?

Answer: "I don't know. I don't think you've been challenged to your full potential."
_____________________________________
Question: "What kind of fool do you think I am?"

Answer: "I'm sorry, I didn't know that there was more than one kind."

Thick as two planks
Thick as a brick

"That guy could mess up a train wreck."

- Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.
- It rained like a cow peeing on a flat rock.

She is so ugly...She would make a freight train take a dirt road!!!

about as helpfull as a broken leg

If you put his brain in a thimble and shook it, it would rattle around like a BB in a box car.

# 1. Dumber than a box of rocks.

2. Slicker than a box of snot.

3. His oar does not reach all the way into the water.

4. His elevator does not go the top.

5. Born at night but not last night.

6. Could not stack greasy BBs.

7. No more sense than a locoed cow.

Sandpile

A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic

Not the brightest Crayon in the box

(I personally don't like the bright crayons because they are difficult to see)

I always heard it as "Longest crayon in the box"

not smart enough to pound sand into a rat hole



buck
if opportunity doesn't knock build a door

My personal favorites are

"Dumber'n a bag of doorknobs"

and

"Not the sharpest tool in the shed"

A group of blacksmiths and no one has mentioned..." a shovel short of a ton of coal " LOL :roll: