irnsrgn Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Katrina is over and the rebuilding and recovery is about to start, we need to celebrate all our friends coming thru it with no real injuries to their person. Best way I know is to have something enjoyable like a humor party. So I will kick it off with a few of my favorite one liner quips about intelligence, I am sure with all the quick witted people we have they will surely have some good ones. 1. The lights on but, nobody is home. 2. A few straws short of a load. 3. Playing with a deck of Jokers. 4. A few Cards short of a full deck. 5. 3 sandwiches short of a one man picnic. 6. A victim of cranial- rectal Inversion. 7. They were at recess when the Gene Pool was open. 8. Dumber than a rock. 9. Engage Brain before Operting Tongue. 10. Fishing without Bait. remember to keep it clean now LOL :wink: :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacksmithtech Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 ............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woody Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 1. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig. 2. Couple fries short of a happy meal. 3. Got one wheel out where the sand is soft. 4. Thinks Taco Bell is the Phone Company in Juarez. 5. Thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing development. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapman1077 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Older than dirt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HWooldridge Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 1. Hotter'n two mice in a wool sock. 2. He's as sharp as a sack full of wet mice. 3. Loud as a fat pup's f$%t. 4. Two hollers short of a mile. 5. Tighter than old Dick's hatband. (I'll come up with some more when my son gets home this weekend - he's lived in West Texas long enough to come up with a few good ones). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenn Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Two french fries and a pickle short of a happy meal. Photographic menory but no film. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ertwdan Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Here's one froma Newfie buddy of mine "He's 'bout half a bubble off level" If you're proud of a job well done then it's "Smart like a smack in the face" Gotta love Newfoundland English Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
one_rod Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 1. As much use as a chocolate tea pot. 2. Sneaked into the gene pool when the life guard wasn't looking. 3. Soft as a boiled mouse. 4. If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose. one_rod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strine Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 There's a kangaroo loose in the top paddock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolano Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 A few tacos short of a combo plate Couldnt poor water out of a boot with instruvtions on the heel. About as sharp as a bowling ball Elevator doesnt go to the top floor Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkdoc Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 A buddy used to say that I was: "Dumb as a fence post and twice as tough" I always replied, "thanks, I think..." :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerald Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Question: "Just how stupid do you think I am? Answer: "I don't know. I don't think you've been challenged to your full potential." _____________________________________ Question: "What kind of fool do you think I am?" Answer: "I'm sorry, I didn't know that there was more than one kind." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strine Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Thick as two planks Thick as a brick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike-hr Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 "That guy could mess up a train wreck." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HWooldridge Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 - Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while. - It rained like a cow peeing on a flat rock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanL Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 She is so ugly...She would make a freight train take a dirt road!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruce wilcock Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 about as helpfull as a broken leg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woody Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 If you put his brain in a thimble and shook it, it would rattle around like a BB in a box car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandpile Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 # 1. Dumber than a box of rocks. 2. Slicker than a box of snot. 3. His oar does not reach all the way into the water. 4. His elevator does not go the top. 5. Born at night but not last night. 6. Could not stack greasy BBs. 7. No more sense than a locoed cow. Sandpile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mills Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rantalin Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 Not the brightest Crayon in the box (I personally don't like the bright crayons because they are difficult to see) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolano Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 I always heard it as "Longest crayon in the box" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brucerdn Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 not smart enough to pound sand into a rat hole buck if opportunity doesn't knock build a door Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Lankenau Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 My personal favorites are "Dumber'n a bag of doorknobs" and "Not the sharpest tool in the shed" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan B Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 A group of blacksmiths and no one has mentioned..." a shovel short of a ton of coal " LOL :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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