Frazer Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 **Note: the seed for this thread was transplanted from another, much larger, garden** Not much is known at this point about Rosa sapiens. Observation of their behavior seems to suggest that they spend most of their time seated. However, they have been known to suddenly lay on their sides when threatened by strong winds or other lateral forces. It is possible that 1) this is some sort of defense mechanism the species has developed over the thousands of seconds since it's birth or 2) this particular specimen has a defect that arose around the time of its conception. The part this whimsical creature has to play in its delicate and peaceful ecosystem has been hotly contested. Some members of the LARPing community suppose it is some sort of Tolkien-esque ring bearer. Our marketing team has claimed that their sedentary nature could be used for promotional purposes. A random passerby in San Francisco posited, "It's a commentary on humanity's intrinsic connection with nature, man.". In truth, who knows what good -- or perhaps evil -- might be expected by the sudden appearance of Rosa sapiens on Earth. In this thread we will attempt to document the progression of the species and any offshoots that may arise as they evolve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 Hey Buddy; looks like fertile ground, lots of BlackSmithing at our roots! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott NC Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 I hope they are good and don't evolve and grow teeth and spread by roots like despised bindweed. Maybe their sedentary qualities are just a clever ruse... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 Being easy to knock over would seem to be a tumbleweed trait; I'd strongly suggest working to remove it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 Hmmm, a horse shoe tumble weed. Make it large enough to mount an engine and seat inside and you could cruise the strip. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 27, 2021 Author Share Posted October 27, 2021 We here at BlackSmith Biological Anthropological and Medical Foundation appreciate your interest in our research into the evolutionary progression of Rosa sapiens. We consider it our privilege to deal with a species who's qualities are not only a clever ruse, but are in fact are outside the box/Punnett square. Our primary interest here at (see name above) is to increase shareholder value. One of the ways that we pursue this goal is to employ unpaid interns who have agreed to work late into the night. One of our interns was tasked with feeding our budding creatures at regularly scheduled intervals. At 12:01 a standard dose of mountain dew was administered. Much like the creatures popularized by Roald Dahl, it appears that feeding Rosa sapiens after midnight results in a rapid mutation from calm, tippy creatures into a cannibalistic subspecies. While we do appreciate the work done by our former intern our well paid legal team would like us to add that all employees are aware of the electronic locks on the doors to the lab and have provided (see name above) with their consent to lock them inside in case of emergency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 A sub species eh, what kind of sub doesn't have a periscope? Is the SPCA aware you're beating sprouts with hammers? Is BSBAMF licensed and insured? Keeping the interns interred is a good idea . Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 27, 2021 Author Share Posted October 27, 2021 Or mayonnaise.. Sometimes I'm not sure what kind of buisness I'm running over here... What they don't know can't hurt them. Now we know that they are welcome to conduct an inspection of our facilities anytime after midnight. Our legal team advises me that I'm not obligated to answer that question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 Don't look at me, I'm not asking! Mayonnaise on the other hand goes with anything. Maybe if I'm good I'll get a room at the Mayo clinic. Mmmmm mayo! Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott NC Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 I need work. Is the (see name above) doing any hiring? I have experience in unpaid, late night, perilous stuff. I promise to lock myself inside if anything goes wrong.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 27, 2021 Author Share Posted October 27, 2021 The turnover rate of our new employees often outpaces our ability to hire. We are always accepting new fertiliz- *ahem* - candidates, excuse me. No previous qualifications are necessary. Your enthusiasm is well received. One of the many perks of the job is the free mountain dew, which our research has shown to be beneficial to non-mountainous organism as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 I expect the colder temperatures soon to be common around their Lab will help to slow down this obviously invasive species; perhaps the National Guard can help contain the infestation until a method of control can be determined. Frazer, any truth to the rumor that they are resistant to Round-Up AND Agent Orange? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott NC Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 On 10/26/2021 at 4:26 PM, Frosty said: Hmmm, a horse shoe tumble weed. Make it large enough to mount an engine and seat inside and you could cruise the strip. How would you steer or stop such a contraption? Drag your boot heels? Of course if you put rail spikes all over it people would get out of your way and it could just climb over what ever it ran into, trees, buildings, cars.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 28, 2021 Author Share Posted October 28, 2021 Mr Powers, out of consideration for our more nefarious mustache twirling contributors we take strides to avoid contact with any government entity. I'm sure you understand. This is true, they appear to be immune to herbicides and our weed burner showed little short term effect. The most effective means of containment is a liberal application of blunt force using sawed off sledgehammers or, should more range be required, airborne cinder blocks. We keep all of these implements at the ready behind break in case of emergency glass. Nodebt, steering? Where we're going we don't need steering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted October 28, 2021 Share Posted October 28, 2021 Perhaps an air dropped Acme anvil would suffice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 On 10/27/2021 at 11:56 AM, Nodebt said: How would you steer or stop such a contraption? Lean in the direction you wish to go, stop by applying the brake and go by applying the throttle. The fun starts when you accelerate or brake too hard. These are similar to the single wheel drive from inside vehicles. People have actually made working motorized sphere vehicle thingies. I don't know what they're called but I've seen videos online. The gravitic application of Acme anvils should do it if you're a good shot. I was thinking on the lines of a casting net similar to one used by Gladiators but made from linked chain with thermite welding charges. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott NC Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 On 10/26/2021 at 8:49 AM, Frazer said: sudden appearance of Rosa sapiens on Earth. I wonder if they came from outerspace on a meteorite.... Round'em all up and air-drop them in the Arctic. It worked for the Blob. Or Alaska where they could be punned to death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThomasPowers Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 Nodept; sentencing to that latter fate is sure to get the planet's "Mostly Harmless" rating changed to "Avoid At All Cost!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 Send em up, the herd grommets will corral them and we'll teach them to let the air out of tourist tires. Then we'll sell them as souvenirs to the same folk while they wait. It's a win win. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 Do I get a cut or are you going to leaf me out to dry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 Know what it costs to feed grommets? You'd probably be in a better negotiating position if you distributed pre trained rosa sapiens. It'd leave you room to branch out into the tourist markets. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 Nope, but it cant be that much. I mean, I only have to feed the ones on my curtains one rod during their whole lives! Hmmm pre trained bonsai sapiens... Sounds very zen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 Uh HUH, feed them ONE TIME and it's curtains for your grommets. I should report you to the SPCH. Frosty The Lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott NC Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 This reminded me of one of my favorites, "Wallace and Gromit". I haven't thought about them in a long time. Thanks. Sorry for the interruption.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frazer Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 20 hours ago, Frosty said: I should report you to the SPCH. Agreed. Wait... Are we taking about the Society for Production of Cool Humanoids or the Satirical People's Committee for Humor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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