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I Forge Iron

What does "tradtional" mean?


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Traditional is the way that "I've always done it."

One of my NCO's used to tell the bad ham story at least once a week.  A man marries a beautiful woman and settles down into what appears to be marital bliss. Everything goes swimmingly, until one day at Sunday dinner she prepares a ham. And as she prepares the honey glaze, pineapple rings, etc, the poor fool asks her why she cut the ends off before she put it in the oven. "That's the way you make ham." "But why?" "Don't take that tone with me! My mother made ham that way, and I make my ham that way, and if you feel like slaving over a hot stove you can make your own explecitive deleted dinner and sleep on the couch!"

A few dozen roses and some serious begging later, and all is well again. A year goes by, and one Sunday, they're eating dinner again. Ham. With the mother-in-law. And when his wife is out of the room, he timidly asks mother dear, "I hate to bother you, but....." Rioting and gnashing of teeth ensues After buying some rather expensive jewelry, she agrees not to divorce him and life moves on.

A year later, Christmas time. He prepares his cyanide caplets and an escape plan, and finally corners Granny on the front porch, where she's snuck out to have a cigarette. "I hate to bother you, and I don't want to upset everyone, but I just have to know. Why does your family cut the ends off their ham?" She thinks for a minute, and replies, "You know, when I was young we had a very small, three room house, with a tiny stove, and the only pan I had that would fit through the oven door wouldn't hold a full ham, so we cut the ends off and saved it for later. I haven't done that in years though; I thought the kids wouldn't have even remembered that."

I know. We used to groan too.

Fire, anvil, hammer, metal. Everything else is suggestion.

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