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I Forge Iron

Blacksmith Humor


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An Old Blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his Apprentice.

The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," He told the boy. "Just Do whatever I tell you to do."

One day, the Old Blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.

"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I Nod my head, hit it real good and hard."

Now the town is looking for a new Blacksmith....

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I'm reading a book, The Story of Writing, and it the writer tells of a fragment of hieroglyphics from ancient Egypt that has been translated, in which a father is trying to convince his son to become a scribe.

"I have seen the smith at work beside his forge, his fingers are like crocodile skin and he stinks worse than roe."

Edited by Jacques
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John was looking for work, and his mate told him that they needed someone up at the blacksmith's.

John went to see the smithy and said, "My mate tells me you're looking for someone to work here."

"Yes, that's right." said the Blacksmith, "Can you shoe horses?"

"I'm not sure," said John, "but I once told a donkey to get lost."

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Lil Bucky was amblin around Dodge City, his thumbs tucked inta his side pockets, takin in the sights, and he stopped to watch an old-timer blacksmith chewin tobacky and makin some horseshoes.

This ole codger'd hold them over the f'ahr fer a spell, bang on em, then he'd dip them in water fer a bit, then toss them on the ground beside him.

Curious, Lil Bucky reached down and handled one of them there horseshoes, and no sooner'd he had it in his hands, he done throw'd it back onto the ground, hoppin and a-howlin in agony.

The ole codger spit and cackled, "Hot, wadn't it, sonny?"

Lil Bucky quickly regained his wits, started walkin away, thumbs in pockets.

"Nope, jus didn't take me long ta look at it!"

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My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.

He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.

After a while he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 20 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 50 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for five full minutes!

Eventually, he even started putting potatoes in the sacks.

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It was a slow day here at work and even though this is an "oldie but a goodie", you got me right up to the end, even in boldface!! Hook, line, and sinker!! LMAO!!! :D

BTW, Peter Fells (google him ;)) has some hilarious anecdotes to share. My favorite is his story about tenderizing abalone with his treadle hammer. I had trouble reading it through the tears in my eyes!!

Edited by Dodge
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Would you make up jokes about someone who usually carries a hammer with him?

Sorry, I don't have any more Blacksmith jokes, but my partner constantly jokes with people and tells them "No, I NEVER argue with my wife, she's usually got a hammer in one hand and a hot bit of steel in the other!!"

People always laugh at this, except for me of course, because he says he doesn't, but he DOES still argue with me!!! :)
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Hi! I just became a part of this forum here and I would love to be a part of it. I love contributing to the community.
I can probably add some humour to start with. Here are some funny stories that I read somewhere.

A patient comes to a Dentist with a tooth pain.
Dentist : Two of you teeth are infected and we need to extract them.
Patient: How much will it cost?
Dentist: Seven hundred and fifty dollars for both.
Patient: What? Seven hundred and fifty dollars for 10 minutes of work?
Dentist: Well, if you like, I can pull them out slowly! payday-loans.gif

Here is another one:

Husband and wife have just left their home for camping.
Wife: We should turn the car back! I forgot to turn off the gas stove and it might burn our appartment!
Husband: It's okay, the apartment will not burn, I forgot to turn off the shower.

The last one:

A trial is in progress in the court room.
Lawyer: Your Honour, if a person has 18 criminal records he is not a criminal.
Judge: Then who is he?
Lawyer: He is a Collector.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.

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The King and the Blacksmith

300 years ago there lived a king of ill heart and much pride. He had a daughter, whom he had promised to a rich neighbor, but she had a different plan: she fell in love with a plain lad, a blacksmith named Kecho.

The lovers tried to run to the mountains but were caught.

Angered, the king decided to execute Kecho.

However, to not appear as a cruel tyrant before his daughter and the people, and to show the blacksmith as intellectually unworthy for marriage to royalty, he let Kecho decide his own execution based on his wits.

The next day he had Kecho placed in a room with nine doors. Each door led to a single room.

One of the rooms contained the princess while the rest of the rooms were either empty or contained a tiger.

Above each door was a sign.

Here's a list of the signs:

Room I: The lady is in an odd-numbered room.

Room II: This room is empty.

Room III: Either sign on Room V is right or sign on Room VII is wrong.

Room IV: Sign on Room I is wrong.

Room V: Either sign on Room II or sign on Room IV is right.

Room VI: Sign on Room III is wrong.

Room VII: The lady is not in Room I.

Room VIII: This room has a tiger and Room IX is empty.

Room IX: This room has a tiger and sign on Room VI is wrong.

The king told Kecho, "The sign on the door of the room containing the princess is true; the signs on the doors of all the rooms containing the tigers are false; while those on the empty rooms can be either true or false."

The king even gave Kecho a hint and told him whether Room VIII was empty or not.

If Kecho would be intelligent worthy, he should be able to find the princess.

Kecho could then open doors until he finds the princess or a tiger and his death.

Behind which door is the princess?

answer in next note.

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True story:

My former boss grew up on a Texas dairy farm in the 1940's.

They had Jersey cows. Their neighbor had Herfords, Beef Cows.

This old Herford Bull used to get into the Jersey cows whenever he was feeling frisky.

They did't want no Herford/Jersey mixed calfs.

They always had to run him off. They would shoot him with bird shot on numerous occasions. This went on for years.

One day out of the blue, the neighboring farmer showed up with a crisp new $100 bill. He handed it to my boss' Dad and said, " My bull died. I figured you had about $100 of lead in him.":D

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The names on this one will remain undisclosed to protect the innocent.

It was around 1955, there was snow on this part of the country, a young man had returned to his parents farm land. He went out walking in the crisp air early one morning like he used to as a boy. When he came to a creek that had a little ice up around the banks, he thought he would take a drink.

He laid down on his belly and dipped his lips into the stream, the cold stung his skin. He sipped the frigid clear water and thought how fresh and good and clean and perfect it all was.

He stood up, refreshed, and started to walk upstream. 10 feet from where he drank. A giant bloated dead deer lay drowned under the ice.

There is always something upstream you can't see.......

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  • 10 months later...

You have heard many things of that great sword Excalibur

but have you ever heard of its Irish cousin Excalibrogue?

Now unlike his cousin Excalibur, Excalibrogue was a singing sword.

The sword was taken up by the future king of ireland.

As in his cousin's tale, Excalibrogue led his bearer Aaron to many great victories.

Unfortunately for history's sake one night Aaron left the sword too close to the fire.

After that

Excalibrogues song was off key

and things started going wrong for poor Aaron.

He lost his army.

He lost his castles.

Finally the devil himself came and stole his last cent.

Aaron turned to the sword and begged for answers.

The sword said. "You should have known there'd be xxxx to pay ... when I lost my temper."

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