Jump to content
I Forge Iron




You Might be a Machinist if

  • Teaser Paragraph:

You Might be a Machinist ...

Copyright © 2002 - 2007 IFORGEIRON.COM, All rights reserved.

065 If tapping a hole has nothing to do with hitting on your part.
064 If you know that milling is more that making flour.
063 If you pickup a machined part and you try to determine how is was made.
062 If the front of you t-shirt is your favorite place to wipe your hands.
061 if you ever made a 1/4 20 screw because it was quicker than going to the hardware store.
060 If you keep a magnifying glass handy to read verneir scale.

059 If your barber don't like to cut your hair because of the metal chips - in your hair.
058 If your wife makes you change clothes in garage before you can enter the house.
057 If refrigerator magnets will stick to your clothes because there are so metal shavings in the fabric
056 If your wife has to sweep metal shavings off car seat after you have driven it.
055 If you told your wife that the smell of the new cutting oil is your cologne.
054 If you know a hole can be blind.
053 If you can pick up a bolt and you know the size and pitch of the thread.
052 If you read the blueprints and can tell they hired a "new" engineer.
051 If when you are boring and it as nothing to do with you communication skills.
050 If the words "make a mirror image" makes you crazy.

049 If Loc-tite has saved you job.
048 If you wear your shop coat for bathrobe.
047 If someone asks whatcha makin? You answer don't know but only 2000 more to go.
046 If you get into Snap-ON tool truck and you saliva glands have flash flood.
045 If your nick name is hogger.
044 If your wife gets metal slivers out of the living room carpet.
043 The blueprint reads bore 7/8" hole in 3/4" round material. So you give the foreman a bag full of lathe chips with job coupon and blueprint attached.*
042 If your wife asks for an arbor for her roses. You ask what diameter?
041 If you sound like tap dance walking in your shop boots.
040 If your nick name is Chips.

039 If pan is so full it's taller than you.
038 If you can not work without a blueprint.
037 If you can not work without a micrometer.
036 If you have more combs than hair
035 If your comb has nothing to do with your hair.
034 If your crew cut has nothing to do with hair style but more with hair safety.
033 If *ISO* (International Standards Organization, pronounced ICE OH ) is not related to an ice skating rink.
032 if you see stock removal as a way of life, not an optional process.
031 If you know at times there is not enough time allowed by the end-user for doing it right the first time, but like magic there is always enough time found to do it over again.
030 If a *hot* job has nothing to do with the parts actual temperature.

029 If you reserve Divine intervention for the hardest jobs.
028 If more than one job has been machined while being held in place by little more than the machinist's own reputation.
027 If you know that anybody can put it on paper; converting concept into reality is a different story.
026 If you know it is more than just the machine and tooling putting the quality into the final part.
025 If you know machine dials *do* lie, but its credibility and reputation are seldom held accountable.
024 If you know each individual machine has its own personality and mood swings.
023 If there is *no* good surface for standing on for an entire work shift.
022 If sand *in* a casting is not a good thing.
021 If you know that the *best* weld beads are those that are no longer visible after machining.
020 If *scraping* a finish has nothing to do with old paint removal.

019 If a *new* paint job on an old machine raises the selling price, but will not make it operate any better.
018 If you now know where all those once thought meaningless decimals, fractions, and math formulas call home.
017 If just machining something to look like the picture does not mean the item will pass the final inspection process.
016 If you think the term “perfectionist” should be part of your job description.
015 If you use a sewing needle as a personal surgical tool on a regular basis.
014 If you know way a freshly hand ground tool (& now thought to be sharp) won’t cut.
013 If you know the edge of sandpaper can cut like the sharpest knife.
012 If you know there are least 120 different drill bits in the 0” – ½” range; and you know why.
011 If you know steel chips embedded in shoe soles can be a real slipping hazard.
010 If you keep creating new dance moves just to keep trying to outsmart incoming flying chips.

009 If you put your hands behind your back so you can get a closer look.
008 If you know that a micrometer is capable of determining "true" hair color.
007 If you sing along to the "60-cycle hum" background music
006 If you can identify the cutting fluid by the smell of the smoke.
005 If Chuck and swing have nothing to do with dancing.
004 If a fly cutter has nothing to do with insects.
003 If you think "mirror" is a finish.
002 If the brands on your arms have a crescent shape.
002 If you know that spit first and cuss second is rule #1 in regards to incoming chips that just landed.
001 If you automatically spit first & cuss later

User Feedback

Recommended Comments

066. you can turn a horizontal milling machine into lathe 067. You hear the words "old steel" and your mouth starts watering 068. You know how to "plane a belt" 069. You can sharpen almost anything 070. You know how to enlarge a bearing race just long enough to get it seated on a shaft

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...