pnut

celebrating a milestone

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I'm only sorry that's the largest I could make the font.  Kicking a habit is a huge accomplishment, especially substance abuse. 

Many in my family have been victims of alcoholism.  I've been very aware of that all my life and have had periods when I "over did it".  When I met the little lady I'm married with, we started of drinking a lot.  She lived in another state and we met on-line.  I'd make trips to see her and so it was, of course, a kind of celebration.  Hence, I'd show up with several bottles of wine. While there, we would buy several more.  Drinking became kind of "what we did".  I remember one vacation we took where we ended up spending almost $800 on alcohol over a three week period.  :o  It escalates really easily when the danged stuff tastes so good!  (Crown Royal Vanilla was my "drug of choice")  ;)  Finally, a year ago at Christmas I decided "enough was enough" and stopped cold turkey.  Not easy, but on Christmas Eve this year, I had a tiny glass of "spirited" Egg Nog.  Kind of made me sick.  Won't be doing that again.  So you've got 7 years..............I'm just over a year with one 4 oz glass.  Won't be doing that again.  San Pellegrino is my order when we go out to dinner now.  So I (seriously) really respect what you've accomplished.;

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I unfortunately battled with a IV opioid addiction off and on for 25 years. I'm just glad my mother lived to see five years of my recovery. I think it was a big factor in helping me get clean. I didn't want her to pass away before she knew I was going to be okay. 

Pnut

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Congratulations. My wife just celebrated 10 years sober, so I've seen what it takes.  One day at a time.

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Opioid addiction is a monster. I'm glad your mom got to see you come through it too. My mom is a big factor in who I am today also. I was a rebellious teenager and well into my 20s and I know I did a lot to disappoint her. I am the youngest of 5 kids, but I am the one she seems to rely on the most. So I've come a long way. You're doing great and I'm happy for you. I understand exactly how it is

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21 hours ago, pnut said:

I unfortunately battled with a IV opioid addiction off and on for 25 years. I'm just glad my mother lived to see five years of my recovery.

She's still watching and proud!

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13 minutes ago, Chris C said:

She's still watching and proud!

She made it quite clear that if she could have anything she wanted it was for me to become whole again. 

 

18 minutes ago, CrazyGoatLady said:

. I am the youngest of 5 kids, but I am the one she seems to rely on the most. 

Coincidentally I too am the youngest of five. I was born much later so it was just me and her from about seven years old. I was much closer with her than my siblings because of it. It's almost like I was an only child. 

 

29 minutes ago, JHCC said:

One day at a time.

Sometimes fifteen minutes is a long time to look ahead. 

Pnut

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On 2/2/2020 at 1:52 AM, pnut said:

I surely didn't think so on Feb 2nd 2013. 

 I just wanted to let everyone know how much this site, Glenn, and the members here have helped me in ways that are impossible to put in to words. Thank you all so much

2013 was a terrible year, topping off ten terrible years.

And the year that I joined this Family.

So, fully on board with your sentiments

Hang Ten Brother!

Robert Taylor

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I am my mother's fifth child and my Dads only child. Her second marriage. Since we have different fathers and the closest in age to me is over 10 years, I felt like an only child. With the exception of my nephew. My sister's oldest son is only 3 years younger than me. So he felt more like a little brother!

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Same here. Different father than my sibs and the next one to me was ten when I was born and the oldest was sixtee and my oldest sister had my nephew when I was five. My father passed away when I was two so I didn't have any memories of him so nothing to miss.  Amazing similarities.

Pnut

 

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No joke! Except my Dad didn't pass away until he was 50. He was my hero. Too bad I didn't let him know that often enough. Wow, that blows my mind 

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I used to go to wherever my oldest sister's husband was stationed every summer until I was twelve or thirteen and spend the summers while my mom worked. My oldest sister was almost like another mother and like you said my nephews were more like little brothers. I think my dad was 47 or 48 when he died. 

Pnut

 

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GOOD ON YOU Pnut!! I'm not going to say I know how it is, I don't. My kryptonite was tobacco and after trying for a good 10 years it took a nearly fatal TBI to kick that demon off. My older 1/2 Brother had a drinking problem and went through 6 wives before he found someone who could kick his butt and he finally quit. My younger Sister had a crack problem and to this day insists she had it under control and was at a comfortable healthy weight. Won't look at a pic from the time she had tooth pick arms and legs with big knobby joints and visible sores on her face. Looked like a walking dead meth addict or crack head to everybody else though. I'm not sure what bottom she hit but she kicked her truly evil SO out and got cleaned up. She's been clean for a good 20 years now but still in denial. I have my fingers crossed for her but she's on a good path.

So, yeah I been around substance abuse my whole life and admire you who have managed to escape the  monkey. You have my admiration and respect Brother.

Keep the faith, we're pulling for you Brother, now and always. 

Frosty The Lucky.

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I am grateful every day that I'm still here. I have some horror stories for sure. People who know me say I should write a book. I've definitely seen the ugly side of life but there's a lot of humor in my story too even if it's a dark humor. The only thing I haven't been able to beat is tobacco. I smoke less than I used to but still about four or five packs a week but I just don't seem to be able to quit. I've put them down for over a year once and out of the blue I bought a pack of smokes with some beer at the drive thru liquor store I used to go to frequently. They handed me my regular order. A six-pack of Guinness and a pack of Camels and before I knew it I had one hanging out of my lips.  When it came to substances though I had pretty broad tastes to say the least. Opiates were the DOC though. I had been doing them so long the only time anyone though anything was wrong is if I hadn't used any. 

Strangely enough recovery becomes a habit also. The longer I go it seems to be easier to maintain. I can't predict the future but I'm clean today. 

I appreciate the support. Not too many years ago admitting something like an IV opioid addiction would get you nothing but criticism and contempt. Thankfully times are changing because the only thing you can't recover from is death. 

Pnut

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Thank you. It's absolutely true though. I've lost way too many people I love to heroin and if there wasn't such a stigma involved in IV opioid addiction in particular they might have been able to get some help when they asked for it. Here in KY we're a little behind a lot of the country when it comes to options for treatment. It's been looked at for years as a moral issue and if people would just decide to stop and have some will power they can. They're finally getting up to date though even though they're about fifteen years too late for most of my friends. It's going to save some others from losing their loved ones or their own lives.

Pnut

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the hard part with most people is they cant understand how its a disease when we took/smoked/drank on our own,  never understanding that the chemicals are not the real problem, they are but a nasty symptom of the real problem., 13 years last December myself

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I learned it emotionally when we attended the death from lung cancer of my wife's Mother.  All of her 12 kids were there at the hospital at the end and it wasn't a pleasant end.  When the Dr had certified it; half of them went outside for a smoke---after it had just killed their Mother horribly!Then I understood that they were addicted and had no control over it.   

My wife used to work in a private Hospital for Mental Illness and Addiction and at socials I got to talk with their Addiction Specialist who told me that for some people their neurochemicals made them extremely prone to addiction and extremely hard to stay off stuff. Others are extremely resistant to addiction.  I warned our kids that Alcoholism ran on both sides of their family and so be extremely careful about drinking.

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Addiction is prevalent in my family also. There's no casual drug users or social drinkers. There's actually only a few people that I know of that drink or do drugs but the ones that do are absolutely addicts or alcoholics or both. My Mom didn't drink or do drugs but she smoked till the day she died. Smoking played a large part in my father's death also. How much was smoking and how much was from the coal mines and chemical plant is hard to say but he died from COPD and emphysema at 47yrs old.  There's a large genetic factor involved in addictive behaviors. Neurotransmitters play a significant part in it also. There's been some substantial progress made over the last ten or so years in regards to the brain's architecture/function and addiction. Who knows where the research will take them. Eventually with technology like CRISPR they will be able to stop addiction at a genetic level. Until then the best course of action is, if you have a predisposition to chemical dependency the best bet is to steer clear of of it in the first place and if someone is already in the midst of addiction, especially opioid addiction there's effective medication assisted treatment so extremely painful withdrawal is no longer necessary. They also have a much higher rate of maintained abstinence over time when coupled with traditional therapy such as counseling. 

Pnut

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Well said Steve. I've never heard it put exactly that way.

Tobacco was my biggest problem. I stopped keeping up with time but must be around 7-8 years non smoker. 2 years completely tobacco free. I pat myself on the back all the time.

I'm pulling for all of you.

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Sandy and I each have a child starting at the beginning of a journey you have been traveling for 7 years. You give me hope. 

I am proud of you, every time you chose to resist the urge to feed your addiction you are reinforcing the habit of sobriety. Who cares if you traded up to hot steel and smoke as an addiction ;-) we don’t.

brother, I don’t share your particular demon, but I know what hell looks like. You need help keeping them fettered let me know, I’ll put on a pot of coffee and listen.  

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We lost Dad to COPD. He smoked for probably 60 years, then there were all the chemicals he/we breathed including the nasty grease smoke from  metal spinning alloys that required a torch to make malleable enough to form, spinning hot. I held torch for years, starting at about 9 when I got tall enough to see what I was doing. Holding torch is a job that needs skill and training to do right. 

Anyway, COPD debilitated Dad to the point he passed with one partially functioning lung and just not enough blood oxygen to keep his organs alive. What finally did him in was changing a light bub, he climbed on a chair to reach, fell and broke his shoulder. His balance wasn't so good but he never gave up on anything. He did remember to hit the panic button on his cell phone so he didn't lay on the floor long, a couple minutes I hear.

Dad smoked because everybody smoked. At the time smoking was a good source of Niacin a B vitamin found in nicotine so it was advertised like vitamins. Camel cigarettes, the health food, one pack a day vitamins?:huh: If you have live streaming TV you can catch the Beverly Hillbillies and the Winston commercials amongst others. 

Frosts are lucky, we don't addict easily, I know I flirted with stupid, really stupid for a few years but cigarettes got me and good. I was quitting for a good 10 years but . . .hah! I'd find a pack in my pocket without knowing when or where I bought it so I started rolling my own. This helped,  I never rolled one for the road, only when I lit it up so it slowed my use. . . some.  I taught myself to roll one handed so I could have a smoke while I drove. The: patch, gum, VAPE? Hah, a good way to keep you hooked while you "quit." Sure it eases the craving, how? By feeding it and keeping it alive. 

Candy flavor E cigarettes? Too many kids aren't taking up smoking, tobacco companies have to make money don't they? The problem of course being vaping is killing kids too quickly so they're not a good long term market.

Here's a good one for you, no matter what the feds say about battling tobacco addiction they still subsidize the industry. There are all sorts of categories that get subsidized including research and developing new products so yeah, the fed gvt paid to help big tobacco develop the E cigarette. 

Makes ME wonder about other fed drug prevention programs. You? I've been asked by doctors if I needed pain meds. Out of the blue!

Sorry about the rant but I have a serious case of the . . . burro about dirty businesses and politicos. :angry:

Think I'll go cool down now, maybe take a walk, it's -7 f out. Should be a short one.;)

Frosty The Lucky.

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I know it sounds crazy but we've been in a country for twenty years that when we got there  Poppy cultivation was all but eradicated that is now the largest opium producing country in the world. Hmmm. 

Pnut

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