Mixed metaphors, or just misused

[Glenn]

Mixed metaphors have been relocated here from another thread.

[John in Oly, WA]

And don't even get me started on misused or mixed metaphors, but, I guess, that's just the way the cookie bounces.

[JustAnotherViking]

That'll certainly kill one gift horse with two stones. 

[JHCC]

A bird in the hand is a penny earned.

 

[John in Oly, WA]

We'll cross those chickens when they hatch.

and a few more I found...

We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

They’re diabolically opposed.

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Take a flying hike.

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

It’s all moth-eared.

I can read him like the back of my book.

From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.

It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

He’s like a duck out of water.

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.

I hope he gets his curve ball straightened out.

It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.

He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.

People are dying like hotcakes.

He’s a little green behind the ears.

You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.

We have to get all our ducks on the same page.

The fan is gonna hit the roof.

I'm sweating like a bullet.

[Daswulf]

Make hay while the sky runs. 

 

Count your Dracula. 

[Farmall]

Don’t change horses in mid flight 

 

i know it like the back of my palm

[John in Oly, WA]

That hit the nail right between the eyes!

Is it Friday yet?! LOL

[NoName]

47 minutes ago, John in Oly, WA said:

That hit the nail right between the eyes!

Is it Friday yet?! LOL

    TGIFI....in this case G is Glenn

    N.N.F.                     Beautiful, Manchester, Michigan. USA

[Daswulf]

Don't look a gift horse in the tail feather. 

Momma said there'd be strays like this. 

A spoon full of sugar helps the mandolin go down. 

[Smoggy]

As Stan exclaimed, "you can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead"

[Tubalcain2]

Don't ditch the bath water with the baby. 

A doctor a day keeps the bedbugs away.

Jellied toast always  lands on the wrong side of the bed.

[Meadowgrove]

Circling around like a cat before apocalypse.

You have to sharpen when the iron is hot.

Forge a new worm on the hook.

Screaming like a hot dog on a roof.

Too many curtains in the fire.

Better to have a cook in your hat than ten in the soup.

[HammerMonkey]

For heaven out loud... (Actually this one is oft used by my wife who's first language is not English. Lol)

[HammerMonkey]

Or, "As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of Ranchmanben's rocking chairs"

[Latticino]

This one went the rounds of my dorm back in the day (I believe that there was a lot of alcohol involved in the genesis):

If I  had all the sticks in the world I couldn't shake them at it.

[Frosty]

Some people used a mixed metaphor to the point it becomes a personal trademark.  If there were someone who worked for Highways maint. in Anch.  when this fellow did I wouldn't have to ID him at all. "? ? squared around", I squared him around, I'll square you around, etc. 

Sometimes we were pretty convinced he wasn't "the brightest cookie on the tree." This is one of my favorites I like switching things around for fun.

Don't hear the reaper.

It seems to be human nature to speak above your education, I know I do it as do most of the folks I talk to. One of my pet peeves is the addition of  needless suffixes. " 'ate" being the one that seems the most common to me. The fellow who helped build the house was always "applicating" things. Getting "orientated, Orientate yourself, I'm orientating", etc. is a popular one with office geologists for some reason the field geos. tended to not misuse suffixes as regularly. I have a lot of trouble not mocking people who misuse things like this. It's very temptating you know.

Frosty The Lucky.

[ThomasPowers]

Have to be in doors for that one Frosty

[Buzzkill]

Hope springs in turtles.

[Daswulf]

You'll catch more fleas with money

 

 

[JHCC]

A woodcut from talented artist Claudio Orso: