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Deb's Mother


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Deb's Mother passed about an hour ago, Deb's sitting in the car in a parking lot crying. Margie turned 90 a couple days after Thanksgiving and the whole family made a big party of it. Fortunately Deb got to spend the time with her and the family recently.

While Margie's health has been failing for a while this was sudden. She was with her Husband Miles, daughter Kathy, son in law and the live in care giver. Margie collapsed and was gone before the EMS got her to the hospital an elapsed time of less than 20 minutes.

If you could say a few words for her and family I'd appreciate it.

Jerry

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Thank you gang it helps. We've been expecting this for a couple years and recently she's been pretty miserable and the docs couldn't find the problem. Deb was thinking Polymyalgia but she's not a healthcare professional so . . . 

It is tough coming just before Christmas and it's going to peg the event to the date for sure. Especially for Miles, Margie's husband. He's been in and out of the hospital a lot recently himself and the family had finally convinced them to get some help, he couldn't handle Margie's needs. Today was Willie's second day on the job and her main patient passes away on her. At least she was there and she's a trained for medical emergencies. Not quite EMT level but extensive 1st. aid training. I misunderstood, Margie made it to the hospital but never regained consciousness. Willie did good, took charge and put everybody to work while she did CPR. On the up side they had a BIG Thanks Giving, family friends and the retirement community in which they lived threw her a grand one seeing as her 90th. birthday was only a couple days afterwards. Family and friends flew in from all over, it was a DO. That's something.

Willie's second day on the job actually got a chuckle out of Deb. It was a HUGE relief for me that she could find things to laugh about. She's tough but now we're worried about Miles and that's eating at her. Miles is frail and was living to take care of Margie, we're afraid he'll just give up and follow her. Fortunately his kids live pretty close, Mike is one mile away and all his kids have been asking he and Margie to move in with them. Miles has already said he'll go.

Ah, I gotta sign off I'm really starting to ramble. Thanks again guys it really makes a difference.

Jerry

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Mark we can really use it. I haven't checked in here but once since posting the request, not because I don't appreciate you guys but it's a hard thing to remind myself of.

It gets worse.

Margie's husband Miles has been in failing health for some time but has kept going to take care of Margie. Much as many of us feared, once his kids felt he could fend for himself and left him alone he went to bed and won't get up. Won't eat, sleeps all the time, won't answer the phone or door and it takes serious effort to get any response. He just shut down and is laying there in the dark quiet waiting to follow Margie. Yesterday his kids had him admitted to hospice care.

On top of that one, of Deb's sister's mother in law who is in hospice with final stage Alzheimer's, husband is now in hospice. 

Deb also has an aunt who's on the last slide in hospice.

We all expect to lose our elders but not so many all at once.  My parents passed over period of about a year and a half. I got to say good bye to both. Dad was in good spirits when he was lucid and we had a few laughs together. Mother was in a lot of pain even unconscious on near lethal doses of morphine. My sis and I turned off her life support as per her demands. Complications of surgery but she wasn't getting over them so we let her go. Both were hard but I had time to come to grips and grieve. 

Deb's just getting sledge hammered. 

Thanks for the prayers guys, this is really getting rough on Deb. I don't think either of us will even note our 90th. let alone celebrate.

Jerry

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Frosty,

Just ran into this thread. Our prayers and sympathies go out to you from me and Marg. We feel for you and Deb during this dreadful chain of sad news.

Leave taking is a companion of old age. But it's never pleasant.

Please remember that we are with you two and will help out if you need anything.

Dan.

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