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I Forge Iron

My 4 year old son


Michael Cochran

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Good luck, Das!  A newborn baby will test a man like nothing else in this world.  Rely on the scientific method for all things.  Determine the important variables, experiment, repeat.  Keep it analytical and focused...the mother has no control, the baby has the power to use her emotions against her. Your job is rational prob,em solving!

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For a non-parent, Frosty gives good advice. Especially keeping a bag packed in case you need to scramble for the ER. 

Hoping things work out, and keeping up the prayers. In case no-one’s told you, it looks like you’re doing all the right things.  

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11 hours ago, Daswulf said:

Thanks Lou. I have a good mind on how to approach it and get started. Sure I'm not ready for it. Who would be. Just gotta take it in stride and with a rational loving mind haha. 

I'm excited for you Das.  Having a baby is one of the most amazing things in life. When you hold your son or daughter for the first time all kinds of feelings start hitting you.

Michael C. - Nothing worse than feeling helpless when your child is sick. Glad to hear he is feeling better and on the mend.

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Das, if you take good care of mom, your job as dad is so much easer. A good mom will go with out (eating, sleeping, etc) for he child. But she can't be a great mom if she didn't take care of herself. That's were you step in. That's were you take the baby and give mom a break, that's were you rub her feet and tell her she is a great mom and a beutiful wife...

...and always cover a boy with the clean diaper wile changing them!   

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Grandparents were supposed to be the coaches for new parents.  My wife just got back from a month helping our daughter with her 4th son.

I cheated; my wife had raised two kids into double digits when I married her (and was the oldest of 12 kids in her parents' family.)  So I had a SME on hand.

Sure helped me a lot!   Kids can pop a high fever between eye blinks; figuring the "usual" vs the "truck for the ER" is difficult.

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Haha I've heard about the diaper changing fountain experiences Charles. 

Looking forward to holding my child. And trying to get mentally prepared for some things I'm sure I'll have to do. I'm working with Elizabeth to keep her happy and healthy. She's doing well and we are still slowly getting the house arranged. She seems to be taking care of my health and happiness as well letting me also have me time. So far so good. 

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One has to risist the temptation to put ones self second. It is counter intuitive but you just can't be the man, husband and father you want to be (and they need you to be) unless you take care of you. 

One of the things that I implimented was the 20 min rule. Unless the house was on fire or such, when I came home I was given the customery greating and left alone for 20 min. (The same allied to the wife and kids when they became school age) to relax and reset from work and driving home. Then I was Dad and husband again, not farrier and the man trying to get home with out some idiot playing bumper cars with me. The wife was given the same respect, as were the kids coming home from school. Nice not to imidiat my face problems right when you got home. Then I could fix the sink, take care of the kids, or what ever was needed of me in the right frame of mind.

How dose that work? Simple instead of a tired and flustrate X wife suving the baby off on a disheveled husband who's fight or flight mechanism is in full swing from fighting traffic, she waits 20 min wile he sets in his chair and has a cold drink. Then he is in the right frame of mind to take the baby so she can take a bath, or a nap or just go sit in the yard and relax for a bit. It's a little thing but it really makes home the place you want to be. 

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That's wild Charles. I don't know how Elizabeth knows this but that is exactly how it goes. She gives me ( sometimes asks me to take ) a bit of relax time after I get home from work. I'll be sure to remember and try to give her the same. Believe I do already. 

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She's a smart lady Das, that's how. Reading cause and effect and modifying behavior is a natural gift even if she's listening to old wisdom. Mother only let us kids say welcome home and give Dad a Baby Oly, then chased us off so he could just sit and relax for a while. She also grew up in a culture where it was her duty to have diner on the table when he got home but she was as a "Rosy the Riveter" and usually held a job. My GrandMother, Suzie or Mom, usually took care of keeping the house running. 

For people who think owning and running a business means privilege don't know what it takes. Dad rarely got to eat with the family. He usually got home before our bedtime to dinner kept warm in the electric skillet. OR we brought him dinner in the skillet at the shop so he could eat a hot meal. 16 x 6 was his normal schedule.

20-30 minutes of silent decompression was a sanity saver.

Another family tradition was nightly board or card games if he wasn't too tired. We'd play: hearts, spades, Yatzee, etc., or some silly board game for an hour and talk about the day. We played for blood, and called each other names but it was quality family time where we expressed  and solved problems, told jokes, laughed and cried together. 

This is a family tradition I can NOT recommend highly enough. Put the baby next to the table and take turns doing baby chores so it's ALWAYS in the game. Always a member, it doesn't need to know more than it's IN THE GAME.

Frosty The Lucky.

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This thread could be turned into an anti-new age life coaching book easily.  Heck, I’d buy it.  Great wisdom from the curmudgeons being laid bare.

Das, I’m remembering the first time I saw my daughter in the delivery room.  She’s seven right now and sitting here on the floor in front of me playing with the cat and a toy horse (he’s not into it).  She should be in bed but she’s a night owl and there is no school tomorrow.  Seven years ago I saw her for the first time and my knees buckled.  Weirdest feeling I’ve ever experienced.  I was 38 and thought I was ready.  I wasn’t.  I can’t wait for you to have the same experience.  It is amazing.

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Haha I'll only be a year older. Believe me, I'm excited as can be and admit I'm nowhere near ready but I will be as ready as I'll ever be. 

Yeah, I'd buy the book too but SHHHH... Next thing us know they will want royalties. Haha. I really appreciate all the advice and stories from experience. Even if some are a bit scary like in this thread. And yeah, Michael your family is still in my prayers. Hope he is beating this and glad it was something treatable and beatable. 

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Hah, ok ok. Life proof case on my phone is on its last limbs and sometimes a letter I hit doesnt hit and autocorrect takes over if I don't catch it and correct autocorrect or the missed letter. Someone should come up with a blacksmith proof phone case. ;) 

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Michael, I do hope all is going well by now. I am a parent and I know how you must feel. You want to take the pain and suffering for the little one yourself. As Das is about to find out, once you have children your world changes. Their suffering is yours too. Prayers sent for the little guy to be up and about soon.

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He had a follow up today with his regular Dr. I don't know what to think about this guy anyway but after today I think it's time to find a new one. He looks at the same X-rays they took at the hospital and tell my wife that it's just bronchitis. It seems that is the go to diagnosis with this dr. 

My son seems to be feeling some better still having some fever at night but nothing too bad. During the day he seems fine but we try to keep him calm so he doesn't get too hot and tired. I think the worst has passed and he's well on his way to recovery. 

Thank you again everyone. 

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Ok, so bronchitis is a symptom, it literally means swelling of the bronchi. So the little air tubes are swollen. The thing we want I know is why, and if we have a fever we have an infection. Pneumonia is a particular kind of lung infection, either bacterial or viral that can cause bronchitis. 

I have fired more than a few doctors over the years, most memorably a pediatric specialist in cerebral palsy at Phoenix children's hospital. He put her in AFO's, then full length braces. Well being a mechanical minded guy and seeing that they made Danny fall much more often and much mor spactecularly. I figured out they were infact doing just the opposite of what we needed. She had very tight heal cords and  groin muscles, giving her a pigeon toed stance and as she couldn't lift her toe she back kneed to shorten her leg. Well the AFO was desighned to prevent you from pointing her toe and the braces, being below the hips would catch the hinges together. So after explaining my observations of the mechanics of the appliances and the mechanics of Dannie's ortho problems he desided to forgo the braces and AFO's. The next month he wants to put her back in thim. I reminded him that we had desided to discontinue them, and why. He denied that this was infact true. After a fue menits descusion I asked him how many patients he had with CP, he allowed 150 some od. I asked him how many daughters I had with CP. it went downhill from there. The look in his face when I told him he was fired was clasic, and it got even beter when he told me I couldn't fire him. I excused my self, stepped out and appoligised to the nurse about being a bit irritated and asked to have another Doctor assigned. She called the chief of staff, who told said Doctor I could indeed fire him. Good times.

bottom line you are entitled to a second oppinion, and if that little voice tells you somthing is hinky listen. 

RSV, as well as other respitory infections can be very grave, leading to life long imparement of lung function. Then again it can also simply be a case of hay fever and a secondary infection taking up residence in the excess mucus. Either way I agree, time to replace him.

 

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On 11/7/2017 at 12:59 AM, Frosty said:

Of course we want royalties!

Hey, no politics!

6 hours ago, Charles R. Stevens said:

bottom line you are entitled to a second oppinion

I went to the doctor, who said, "You're sick." When I said I needed a second opinion, he said, "Okay, you're ugly too."

6 hours ago, Charles R. Stevens said:

Ok, so bronchitis is a symptom, it literally means swelling of the bronchi. So the little air tubes are swollen. The thing we want I know is why, and if we have a fever we have an infection. Pneumonia is a particular kind of lung infection, either bacterial or viral that can cause bronchitis. 

This, precisely. To borrow a phrase from Emerson, this guy is slashing at the leaves rather than hacking at the root.

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Herr Charles,

I assume that the RSV refers to respiratory syncytial virus and the incident was a few years ago.

The following comments are for Mr. Stevens and any other ifi members (especially those with children)

RSV is an ugly customer, it is a serious infection & should never be taken lightly.

A small number of children (about 3%) develop complications. Like bronchitis (bronchiolitis), pneumonia. A significant number of children can develop long term asthma).

Almost all adults and children have had RSV and not had any symptoms and you can be infected many times in your life.

The bug is a virus so most antibiotics will not work so care is palliative. (i.e. the meds treat the symptoms).

Charles you had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a quack. Not all doctors are intelligent. There are a small percentage that are dumb.

Cheers everyone,

SLAG.

 

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Dannie acualy shed the virus for a number of years, and if it wasn't the fact she was a premi with CP the doctores would never have discoved the fact. As the complications for pregnant women (acualy their unborn child) can be an issue we informed the school. All was fine untile a teacher took it apon herself to leak the information. Long story short, one of the staff who worked directly with Dannie was the pregnant wife of a prominent local doctor, he issued a statement to the effect that Dannie was the only child he was not concerned about his wife working with. The fact that they knew ment they took predations, the other 1/3 of the kids that had it were a much bigger concern. A very apologetic school district let the teacher go.

I learned long ago that most doctors are hardworking peaple of average Inteligence, brilliance is a rare thing because most folk with high IQ's lack the patience to muddle threw 4 years of coledge much less 8 plus a lengthy internship. I cherish and respect those that do.  

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16 hours ago, Charles R. Stevens said:

I learned long ago that most doctors are hardworking peaple of average Inteligence, brilliance is a rare thing because most folk with high IQ's lack the patience to muddle threw 4 years of coledge much less 8 plus a lengthy internship. I cherish and respect those that do.  

Yes, that's true Charles, but I think we have a doctor in our town who qualifies for the brilliance category. We are indeed fortunate to have a doctor who started his career here in our small town and he's still practising here after almost 50 years. He took my tonsils out when I was 22 and delivered our son 37 years ago. He's an expert with skin cancers (we live in the skin cancer capital of the world here) and he removed a melanoma from my wife's arm that would have had serious consequences had it gone undetected.  He's been the town's only doctor in all that time and also takes care of a couple of other small towns. Cherished and respected - certainly.

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