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ThomasPowers

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I understand Charles. It's a long road ahead for me. I know once it's going on that the plans I think about go out the windo but I have been planning on how to teach my child better then my father taught me or better then the too laced fathers or my friends taught them. It's all give and take. For sure I'll at least try to curb any bad sides I have with the kid. I have been getting into more a routine with my lady moved in. Still cleaning up my single life house and making it " ours" which I don't mind. My patience is much improved from my younger self and I see a lot of things more clearly. She respects my craftiness and what passions I have ( unlike some other women I have been with which Only wanted Me time) we are a good team. :) I appreciate the advise and will continue to improve myself and we get closer to welcoming this new blacksmith into the world. :o yeah. I know. Whatever path my child takes on I will love them and teach them my best and try to keep them off the path of my worst. 

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To recognize that your partner needs "me time" is a sight of maturity. It's beter to have a good spouse half the time an amazing spouse 1/4 the time and have them involved in their own prasutes the rest than it is to have a good spouse 1/4 the time , a mediocre one 1/2 the time and a poor one 1/4 the time. We all need to recharge. Same goes for parenting. You tag team that responsibility! The fact you are concerned about being a good parent tells me you will be. Mistakes will be made, but they will still grow up. Be the man you want them to be, treat their mother the way you want them treated, respect them even when you are putting boot to butt. We learn self discipline from being disappointed, we learn self love from being loved and self respect from both being given respect but more so from being expected to give respect. In the end all you can do is set a good example, love your child and try to keep them alive and with all the parts they were born with till they turn 18. I wish parents had veto power till you turned 25

 

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As my wife also is a crafter we worked with each other to allow both of us to have some time by ourselves.  Sometimes we would trade off conferences: I'd go to Quad-State and she would go to "Wool Gathering"; shoot we still do that and the kids are grown!  (and wool gathering is usually a week before Q-S, so we drive out early go to WG and then visit my Stepson and the grandkids in OH and then go to Quad-State on the way back so to speak.)  When we both attended the same event as primaries, (Like the Pennsic War), we would divvy up childcare duties---and this was NOT jut the kids tag along while you do your own thing. This was you going where the kids wanted to go and doing what they wanted to do.  Makes them *like* going to such outings as they are getting parental attention and doing things they are interested in.  Everyone pretty much got to attend the things they were most interested in and have some time to themselves as well.

Miss Manners said it often not the big issues that were tough on a couple, as you should have talked these out; but the small ones like "how you fold the towels or which drawer the silverware goes in" that causes friction because we learned these from our parents and so our way *MUST* be the right way.  Being able to see that they don't matter a hill of beans in the grans scheme of things makes cohabitation easier.

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It's not always the things you know that will trip you up: it's the things you don't know, the things that are deep down, the things you haven't yet learned about yourself. Getting married, having a baby, moving, getting a job, losing a job, losing a parent -- all of these things will shake loose whatever isn't tied down in your head. The bad news is, this can be incredibly painful and difficult. The good news is, it will teach you more about yourself and give you the opportunity to work through the things that are holding you back. The fact that you're already aware of this and willing to put in the time, Das, tells me that you'll be fine. Good luck!

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All great advise, Thank you. 

One thing that that has been great is we have wide open communication.  As long as we can talk to each other about anything and work it out then we are good.   

I don't mind how the towels get folded. It was a little tough accepting how the kitchen drawers got rearranged but again that's fine and I'll get used to it. long as I can make my coffee in the morning. :D and she has been learning to cook for two ( or 3 really) instead of just herself.  I can handle all kinds of compromises in the house because she said my shop is mine and she won't ask me to change it. :)  and to be honest most of the house stuff needed done anyway. I will be sad to put away my many sharp pointy things displayed throughout my living room but that's more for the kids sake. 

I was told I'm out of diaper duty when I told her I'd wear a gas mask to do it. She said it'd scare the kid,  tho somehow I doubt I'll really get out of it haha. 

All in all, I'm excited. 

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10 minutes ago, Daswulf said:

I was told I'm out of diaper duty when I told her I'd wear a gas mask to do it. She said it'd scare the kid,  tho somehow I doubt I'll really get out of it haha. 

Once you get good at it, you'll have the bottom clean and the diaper changed in less time than it takes to find the mask and put it on.

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Don't forget the risk of a fountain with malchicks!

My first child was a 9# baby and it took a while for my wife to recover so I got the "get up in the middle of the night, change the baby, give her to my wife for feeding, change the baby and put it back in her crib" duty.   I was young then and made of ferrous iron and lack of sleep was not much of a problem...

Grandkids are MUCH better!

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