Need some divine assistance

[Michael Cochran]

For the last couple years I've had the privilege of working for my father in law as a carpenter/general contractor but the stresses between work life and home life are starting to bleed over. In fact there have been words said a few times that should've been left unsaid. I don't want to be disrespectful so I won't say anything else there. I have been looking for work for almost a year now applying online (why does nobody want to hire a guy off the street anymore) and asking around if any of my friends know of anyone hiring and obviously I have yet to have any success. I have tried to sell a couple things in the past both wood and metal work and I have tried to do my own odd handyman type jobs and get a reputation of my own so I can get out from under the inlaws and have had no iterest. I'm almost at my wits end trying to figure out something and the stress is staring to take a toll on my body (hair fallin out headaches mood swings etc) and it's got to end. So here I am asking for those of you that do, will you say a quick little prayer for me and my family. I don't want my stress to get any worse and start affecting my relationship with my wife and I don't want our two year old son to be affected either. 

Thanks everyone.

mike

[jwilson645]

Prayers going up for you, buddy. Hang in there. I've been through some rough stuff over the past year or so myself. It's getting better, just have to stay positive and do your best to not let it take a toll on your family.

[Charles R. Stevens]

I will certainly pray for you. 

Take a bit off advice from an old dog? Talk you your wife, talk your father and mother inlaws. Honestly, they have a dog in this fight too. It sucks to feel like your not being a man, but buy telling them pretty much what you have shared with us, thats owning it. Fellings, fears and mistakes the whole thing. That's being a man. 

[Michael Cochran]

Thanks for your support guys.

Charles, I've tried talkin to them and explainin things that's when tempers flair and things get sour for a while. They get defensive because they don't need me to work for them and they're only lettin me work for them to make sure their daughter and grandson are taken care of. None of it has anythin to do with me. I could go on but like I said I'm trying hard not to be disrespectful towards them, they have helped me in a few ways and I don't want to cause a problem that's gonna come back and bite me in the butt.

[Charles R. Stevens]

I see, sounds like y'all need a referee lol.

Sounds like you are maning up too, so thats one thing to stop kiking yourself about. 

Hard to get folks to listen without getting defensive some times. They do want you to succed, as you said they want their dougter and grandbaby taken care off.

Prayers and networking ;-) 

 

[Frosty]

I'll be speaking with higher for you and yours Mike. It can be really tough to talk about things that hit so close to home. Just don't give up, it's just hard, not impossible.

Frosty The Lucky.

[BIGGUNDOCTOR]

In many cases it is the guy knocking on doors that is getting the job instead of the internet résumés. Do you have a small business administration, or other association that can help with placing you in a job? In Las Vegas they hold job fairs, and various groups help people such as yourself find work. 

[WL smith]

You  may need to look into "early onset dementia" It is a terrible condition. My mother has it and we all overlooked the problem until we had to face the condition. We will be praying for you a new job and your extended family 

[ausfire]

Sorry to hear of your predicament, Mike. Hope things work out for you and your family. I don't know if it helps to know that there are people on the other side of the world who are pulling for you. 

[Michael Cochran]

In many cases it is the guy knocking on doors that is getting the job instead of the internet résumés. Do you have a small business administration, or other association that can help with placing you in a job? In Las Vegas they hold job fairs, and various groups help people such as yourself find work. 

I spent a half a tank of gas yesterday knocking on doors just to here them say 'you have to apply online,' or, 'we only hire through a staffing agency.' I will be getting some help from a local office as part of my benefits from a previous life. The VA has a program to help me and the people I talked to said I need to come back in and get another mental evaluation. They think my issues are comin back yay  

i woke up this mornin in a much better mood than I spent most of yesterday in and hopefully I'll stay in this mood or better today. Knowin there's as many people out there showin support makes me feel better too, thanks everyone.

[SpankySmith]

I don't know if there are any such possibilities down there near you, but up here in North Alabama there are a HUGE number of government jobs, and hiring preference is STRONGLY weighted toward vets - it's hard to NOT land a job up this way if you're a vet.  Have you looked at USAJOBS.gov for any opportunities down your way?   Up here at least if you check off Vet on the app you pretty much WILL get a call back.   They're also about to open a brand new VA center over in Huntsville and have just started staffing that place up.  Not suggesting you are able to move, just suggesting government jobs may be something for you to target if there are any opportunities down that way. 

[Michael Cochran]

Thanks for the suggestion, Spanky, I hate to admit I haven't even thought about government jobs. I'll look into that.

i like how it doesn't matter what's going on that I need help with there is always someone here with good suggestions.

[notownkid]

I was asked to give up a good job and return to the family business I disliked because Dad wasn't well, 5 yrs of being ignored when I made decisions or suggestions I was ready to say goodbye and let him sink, Had a call one evening he was in the ER with a stroke all of a sudden it landed in my lap and no more backbiting and disagreements.  The rest of the family shut up and I took over. Old saying " Don't do business or work for friends or relatives"  my father told me that shortly before he died only adding" No Partners only room for one boss."  

[Charles R. Stevens]

PTSD isn't thing that goes away, and if it has been complicated by a TBI. Its about learning to manage it. Especialy the things like stress that aggrivate the condition. Medication and counsing is over 80% effective. But its a lifetime thing. Been there doing that.  

[Michael Cochran]

I know family and business shouldn't mix and knew sooner or later it was gonna become a headache just wish I'd had a little more warnin lol.

Charles, thankfully I don't have any damage in my head other than mental and emotional. I have a couple appointments set up for Friday to check on my issues and see if counseling is for me. From past experiences I can say I don't like psych doctors of any kind but I'm gonna give it another go for my families sake more than my own.

i have hope for a new beginning in the near future thanks to some kind words and advice given over the phone by someone here I am proud to call a friend. I will post updates here if anyone is interested but even if you're not I'll still share when I find my new job  

Thanks again for all your support. You're a wonderful group of people.

[Charles R. Stevens]

In 1990, i was forced to seek help. Took a year with a good team, just to exept that I couldnt wish this away, not easy to find good doctors to work with, but keep looking. The next year I learned to manage muy conditions, I have Type II bipolar illness, Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and Attention defficit disorder with some learning disabilities thrown in just for kicks. 

Took a long time to find meds that helped that didnt have debilitating side effects.mand they still dont squash all the symptoms, just make them easer to mange. It isn't easy.

[Michael Cochran]

I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid but when I got to be 15 I was so sick of takin pills that I quit and learned how to force myself to focus on the task at hand. It wasn't easy but I did it. I did the same thing in 2009(?) I quit takin the meds they gave me for PTSD because all the possible side effects made me un comfortable. There is actually a class action lawsuit now against the makers of that medicine. When I quit takin those meds I learned several calming techniques and had to relearn how to focus. I have always been a fan of learnin to control my issues with out meds, I don't even like takin somethin for a headache if I can distract myself from it and go on.

[Charles R. Stevens]

I take minimal medication myself. A year of biofeedback training certainly helped when i need to hit the "reset buton" never recieved meds as a kid, i can become kind if obseive, and learned to become very point focused on tasks (such as reading, wich is my go too point of relaxasion, as i t takes a bit of focus, thus quieting the noise in my head) but meds help, if you have a good doc who understands that high funtioning patients dont tolerait severe sidefects. I'm prety  lucky that Welbutrin and Nerontin work fairly well for me. Each med treating two medical conditions ( ADD, PTSD and low grade depresion for welbutrin and nerve damage in my back and sholders and mood stabilization for Nerontin) isnt perfect, just kind of cuts the edge like motrin for a tooth ache, but it makes it a lot easer to manage with the non medical technickes. 

Fact is if you were diobedic you would use diet, execise and medication to mange your illness. You do the same with the "crazies" your family deserves it. Find a doc that dost think he is god, a masters ir PHD level councelor (mine junoed on normandy) so you can find what works for you. I dont want you to add to the suicide satistics. 

[Michael Cochran]

Wellbutrin made me have violent bursts of rage and the first psych dr just filled out a new prescription for it even after i told him about that. I threw the prescription in the trash can by his desk on my way out and never went back. As far as becoming a statistic, nobody has to worry about that. As hard as things can be sometimes I have other people to think about and I can't take the 'easy' way out. 

[Charles R. Stevens]

Forbiden deamons strike again!

TTYF! Lol

[Michael Cochran]

Well I'm still applying for work when I see openings I'm qualified for and even some I'm not. Last Friday I applied for work with a local steel fabrication company I was told was hiring for several positions. I decided to call since I haven't heard anything from them and to let them know I was definitely interested in working with them. When the HR manager answered and I told him who I was he responded with, 'I remember your application. It stood out because you don turn usually see where someone says their a blacksmith.' He then proceed to tell me he's making a note that I called and they are planning on having interviews next week. I'm not qualified for the main position they need filled but he'll keep me in mind.

[Daswulf]

Good luck with it Michael. 

[jwilson645]

Good luck, Mike. 

[Michael Cochran]

Thanks guy. I hope it's not like the last I nervier where I missed half a day of work to never hear from them again even with me calling them and leaving messages.

[SLAG]

SLAG  Here,

Marg & I have added you to our list of intentions.

The N. Alabama idea is a capital one.

Also, suggest contacting all your friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are thinking of changing jobs. Swallow your pride. You opinion of yourself and your family trumps anyone else's opinion.

I know a fellow that threw a "I've just been fired party". He invited everyone he knew and any others he & his wife could think of to the affair. He provided all the party favors, good food and liquid cheer. And got a very good job offer in 48 hours.

You should not have to tell anyone the reason for your job search. It is no one else's business is  & It's a downer for people.

I have never got a job offer from the net nor advertisement. Many people & job placement firms are casting for  potential clients or are gaugng the market, checking on salaries, potential qualified personnel. They are not looking to hire just yet. I have never gotten a job from the net nor from any advertised jobs. The best jobs are usually never advertised.

Best of luck, you can do it,

Regards,

SLAG.