Marksnagel Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 I walked into a bar. I get the stitches out next week. :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John McPherson Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 A circus performer and his trained seal walks into a bar, where the seal immediately hops up on a stool. The bartender says " We've never had a seal in here before, so your first drink is on the house. What'll it be?" The seal says: "Anything but a Canadian Club!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 A piece of bitumen walks into a bar and orders a drink. Up the back of the bar another piece of bitumen is cursing, swearing, throwing glasses around and picking fights. So the first piece of bitumen says to the barman "do you want me to sort him out for you?" and the barman replies "no, keep away from him, he's a cycle-path". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HWooldridge Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Ooooh - those last two hurt. A screwdriver walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey! Waddya know, we have a drink named after you". Screwdriver replies, "What? You have a drink named Ygnatius Leon Capparelli, Jr.?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukellos Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 A man walked into a bar and got 12 stitches in his forehead! -_- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 An Englishman,Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman says 'whats this, some kind of joke'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Turley Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 A guy walks into a bar and when he removes his cap, there is a frog firmly attached to the fore part of his head. The bartender is aghast and says, "What the heck is going on? The frog replies, "He started out as a wart on my XXXX." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve McCarthy Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 A guy walks into a bar and when he removes his cap, there is a frog firmly attached to the fore part of his head. The bartender is aghast and says, "What the heck is going on? The frog replies, "He started out as a wart on my XXXX."Now that's funny. Thanks Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat Posted May 13, 2012 Author Share Posted May 13, 2012 a man walks in to a bar orders a beer and asks "could i have a packet of helicopter flavour chips please"barman replied "sorry i only have plain" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HWooldridge Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 A police detective walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Ahhh hell, I'm having trouble solving this string of redneck murders". Bartender wants to be friendly so he asks why. Cop responds, "Well, all the DNA matches and there's no dental records". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete46 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 It was my cousin! Thanks HW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a62rambler Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 An anvil walks into a bar and orders a beer. A guy at the other end of the bar calls the bartender over and says he thinks the anvil's name is Trenton and asks if the barternder knows for sure. The bartender replies, "I don't know his name but his face rings a bell." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ianinsa Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 "I don't know his name but his face rings a bell." Was'nt that what they said about Quasimodo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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