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As a father of three grown children, I know what many pains a parent often must endure, but this! I can't begin to pretend I know what what you are going through. I can only offer kind thoughts and prayers. I am very sorry for your loss.
Scott

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Now I know why I could not find meaningful words to express my thoughts and feelings to you in my post. They were living in your heart, and also in the hearts of the many people who Andrew touched wi

I not sure what to say here that hasn't already been said, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts during this struggle. I won't pretend to have even a basic understanding of "the plan" or fate, or whatever, but I do know that the power of many people coming together in support of one is a very powerful thing. Lots of strong people here pulling for you.

My condolences.

-Derek

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I know most of you have no hope of coming but I wanted to post this anyway... Andrews memorial service will be the 23rd at 7 PM at the Auburn Adventist Academy (at my shop more or less, my shop is on the church/school grounds) The address is 5000 Auburn Way South in Auburn WA...

We had the viewing at the funeral home this evening... Pretty tough, Im glad people had a chance to come say good by though and I was able to have my last heart to heart with the knucklehead.... He left a big hole....

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Larry, I can only stand by you side in spirit as I am too far away. My son would not have tolerated a funeral or service so we are honoring his wishes. I am thinking of you as I grieve my son as well.
May peace be with you.
Jeff

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Larry, I so sorry to hear of your loss. My wife's son took his life just over 3 years ago and I can understand the depth of your loss. We are here at the Mt. State's Conference and hope to see you. We are staying at the Best Western Rm. 200. We can provide some resources that can help you through this time, if you want and are will to talk to you at any time.

Our prayers are for you at this time.

Larry Nevers

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Larry,
My deepest condolences for your most tragic loss. There is no way for me to fully understand what you must be going through. But I add my prayers to the long list. May God grant you the peace that passes all understanding and the healing touch of His love to you, and all your family.



Mitch

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We layed Andrew to rest last night.... It was a nice service.. A lot of people showed up to honor Andrew... we made 150 pendents and keychains with Andrews name or initials to hand out as a keepsake and where way short of enough..


I thought I would share Andrews Eulogy I gave last night


We are here to day to share our grief, to find comfort in one another. We are here to seek something that simply can not be found.. Meaning in this tragic and unexpected loss… But most of all we are here to show Andrew that he will not be forgotten. That he will live on. That his kind and wonderful soul touched us deeply.

When I started to think about what I wanted to say standing up here today I started taking notes, I started filling pages with moments that touched my life and trying to put into words who Andrew Michael Crowley was.. Something became clear to me, and that is it is easy to share your feelings about someone but it is difficult to convey how much a person truly impacted those around him. I have not spent a lot of time at funerals; I have only been to a handful. I remember several of the ones I did attend thinking “who is this person they are talking about?? That’s not the person I knew. I realized I didn’t really know what a Eulogy was.. When you look it up, it is quite simply Greek for “good words”… Then it made more sense, Its easy to spew a strung together ramble of good words at a funeral knowing that those attending are in grief and probably not trying to make sense of what your saying anyway. But Andrew was deeper than that. Andrew touched everyone and touched them deeply. Andrew was a not a typical 19 year old kid.. Often people where surprised to learn he was so young. Many of the people who have contacted me to offer there condolences thought he was in his mid twenties. He had a maturity about him that was far beyond his years. You don’t expect a 19 year old kid to spend night after night sitting and watching the sun go down and seeing the value of sharing that tender moment with one he loved. You don’t expect a 19 year old kid to see the deeper beauty of the world and truly take it to heart.. Andrew did… He took the time marvel at Mt Rainer on his drive to work. He could sit on the bank of a stream and just soak in its meaning. I think Andrew saw deeper into the world than most of us.

When meeting people who knew Andrew they always say the same thing. Andrew was so generous and selfless. They share a story about how Andrew came and saved them in there time of need. Many of the parents of Andrews friends have told me that Andrew was an odd duck.. Those other friends would come leaving behind a trail of destruction… But Andrew left after mopping the floor and doing the dishes even though he dirtied neither… Andrew would go to a party and spend all night doing what 19 year olds do… But then get up in the morning and fix everyone breakfast before heading off to work… It was important to Andrew to consider what he could do to make others lives better… Simple things that so many others simply would not have made time for. Most of us with out even thinking, look at a situation and think what’s in it for me.. What can I get out of this… Andrew stood in those shoes and thought what can I give, how can I help..

We know Andrew was a giver, . He didn’t make things for himself… He spent hours working in the shop to make things for other’s.. He didn’t have much himself, and I don’t think he needed much… Just in this last year Andrew got a new truck. He knew his younger half brother had just got his drivers license and needed something to drive… So he gave his old truck to Landon… That might not seem like much until you realize the two have never met… Just shared a few text messages and phone calls over the last few months… Yet it was just as simple as that… Landon needed it, I have it… I should give it to him…

Andrew had many strong influences through out his life. He had an extended family that even though many of us did not interact, we still all where family.. I was not a good father to Andrew in his early childhood… I had my demons that distracted me.. Fortunately Andrew had many teachers, mentors and family influences. Of course it goes without saying his Mom Amy shaped him from baby to boy to man... But there was Chuck and MaryAnn, Diane Angie and Austin and many others He had a very strong bond with his little brother Aiden who he loved deeply. Aiden loved his big brother and Andrew found joy in sharing his insight and understanding that being the big brother brought. Andrew also had a very strong father figure in his step father Andre. Andres love of cars and mechanics rubbed off and Andrew as they worked on his Galaxy together. It would play a big part on Andrews’s decision to pursue work where he got his hands dirty. Andrew also had strong relationships with his Aunts Shannon and Joanna. I feel that Andrew viewed them as a safe haven to turn to when he struggled with a girl or a friend…. I don’t want anyone to feel left out of this, the fact is so many played a part I could never name them all…. I really did not come into Andrews’s life in a significant way until about 2001…. Not yet a teenager he had many questions about his dad. We spent more time together the longer I was in Washington.. He would come spend Saturdays with me and we would scour the pawn shops from Tacoma to Everett looking for treasures… I always thought it was “our thing” It wasn’t until years later when Andrew was a grown man that he told me he hated going to the pawn shops, that it was so boring to drive miles and miles to make a quick walk through of this dirty stinky store… But he never told anyone because what was important was we where together….

When Andrew was about 13 I got him a little Honda motorcycle… The little 80cc bike was already really too small but Andrew thought it was magical… There was no place really for him to ride it and at the time I didn’t even have a place of my own so I kept it at Pacific Industrial where I worked.. We would close early on Saturday and after everyone had gone Andrew would ride that thing around in circles till I made him stop… Hours and hours just going round and round happy as can be… At 14 I sold the bike because it was just too small and I told him I would get him another one…. Just a few weeks ago Andrew was on my case saying “Hey, You still owe me that Motorcycle!”

Andrew worked with me from around 12. He could weld by 13 and was running heavy equipment shortly after. He loved to drive the forklift… I can remember him so eager to just move things around for no reason… I tried to explain that it didn’t really make sense to just move things to move things… he didn’t care.. So I would place two stacks of pallets on opposite sides of the yard… He would take the top one off of one stack and move it to the other pile till they all were in the same place, then he would move them back. Since that time I have caught Andrew teaching people to drive my forklift in the same way, passing on the skill he found…. As Andrew got older his projects became more complicated. He made knifes for me as well as a little rack to put them in. He took on phases of my projects like cutting the parts and grinding the edges.. He was happy just to do the grunt work… He took pride in simple things done well and you could always tell he cared about what he did. Andrew made plenty of mistakes, But almost never made the same one twice. Andrew became a blacksmith. He wanted to master metal. He saw the possibilities and he had a natural knack for working with iron and steel. I took great pride in Andrews abilities. I told all of my metalworking peers that it was only a matter of years before Andrew would pass me by. That wasn’t just something I said, It was true. Many of those same people commented on how impressed with where with Andrew. One email stuck out in my head so I thought I would try and find it… I did a search for “ My Son Andrew” in my mailbox since that’s how I always referred to him, Not just his name. I got 772 matches so It took a bit to find the one I was looking for but I did.. It was from a fellow named Bob who runs a waterjet shop on Vashon Island. I had sent Andrew over to deliver some material and pick up some parts. The note he sent me was indicative of how people felt about Andrew.
It said “Larry you’ve raised a fine son- Andrew ask more intelligent questions than just about anyone else who has visited the shop and is polite and articulate to boot. It was truly a pleasure working with him today”

By the time he was 30 he would have been far beyond my current skill level. I think Andrew found his calling working in the shop. He immersed himself in learning the trade. He attended metalworking functions and became enamored with the craft. We made plans of becoming partners, rather than being son working for father we would work side by side each with our own projects and share in the load. I also think Andrew would have been just as happy doing anything I did… If I would have been a woodworker or a plumber I think Andrew would have wanted to join me and “learn the family biz” as he put it.

Unlike me there was so much more to Andrew though than his work life. Andrew made time to spend with family and friends. He wanted to take time to camp and fish. He enjoyed just exploring the country side. He has made several trips back to Idaho to visit family and fell in love with the area. He has always visited but in recent years I think Idaho started calling to him. He told me many times that Seattle was not where he belonged, That Idaho felt more like home even though he had never lived there. I can remember the first time I took Andrew fishing. I don’t remember how old he was but not very, Not more than 5 or 6… We went out to Oster ponds just outside of Hagerman, It was Andrew and I and a few others… He didn’t like the worms and was scared of the water… I thought it was a bad idea, that maybe we would go do something else.. But then he caught a fish… A little Blue gill and his eyes got wide… He danced around like a kid on fire… He was a little scared to touch it but you could see he was in love.. He didn’t want to take it home, just put it back and watch it swim away… He smiled his big kid smile the rest of the day, talking about what it was like to see that little blue gill hop and jump around… I have no doubt that when he got home to his mom it wasn’t Grandmas house or a visit with his dad that was the first thing to pass his lips.. It was that little fish and its crazy dance. When Andrew became a young man he spent time sitting on many a bank or pond. I think most of what Andrew loved about fishing could be summed up in just a few words, Peace and beauty… Andrew asked me many times to go fishing with him after that but I never went… I was always too busy to take time for such silly things. Always things that seemed more important… How wrong I was.

Andrew was more than a metalworker or a fisherman though. Andrew first and foremost was a friend. Andrew developed deep relationships with those in his life. He was the go to guy in your time of need. It didn’t matter if you needed help or needed a kind ear Andrew was your guy. I took for granted how important our friendship was as I am sure many others did as well. I never really thought of Andrew as my friend. I thought of him as many things of course a son and employee to name a few… But I can tell you out of all the things he was, a friend is the one that will leave the biggest hole in his absence. I feel lucky that at least over the last few years we spent more time together than we did apart. We worked together, eat together and played together. I think we made up for much of the time I missed when Andrew was young. We shared a bond that only father and son know. I know a handful of Andrews friends. Atounchee , Vanessa and Chris have all spent time working in my shop on various projects with Andrew… Sometimes on things for me, others their own endeavors. Many others have stopped by for a quick visit. What I know of Andrews friends suggests to me that Andrew was a good judge of character. Other than people his own age Andrew also made friends with people you would not expect. Recently he spent a lot of time with my friend Austin riding motorcycles, Austin has 6 kids all older than Andrew but I don’t think age mattered much…


The truth of the matter is I don’t need to stand up here and tell you what a great guy Andrew was… Just look around at all the people who he affected, that he touched. I am but one of the lives in his grand story. There are dozens of folks here who could recant the same virtues and praises with their name in place of mine but tell the same story… That we are here to honor an exceptional young man.
Remember that what we say here today is only an inadequate expression of what we carry in our hearts for Andrew. The words are insufficient and meaningless compared to the true feeling which I can’t find the words to express…

I have been struggling to find my way in the world since Andrew left. But I think Andrew will find his place. I think there will be a special place for Andrew on the Blacksmith crew in Heaven. Andrew probably will show up late to work and want time off to go fishing… But he will be happy working on St Peters gates and he will make new friends to keep him company until we are there.

Andrew…. I am so proud of you, I will remember you always and forever.

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Monstermetal, I like that powerful image of your son standing at the forge of heaven making a new gate to the Kingdom of Light ! I look forward to the day I too walk through those gates and greet my twins and behold the Son the of God in his glory. May God forge anew your broken heart so that your pain is eased but not your love for Andrew, Jerry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRt2o5MqE9E&feature=autoplay&list=PL21AB4C2371965179&index=17&playnext=16

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Now I know why I could not find meaningful words to express my thoughts and feelings to you in my post.
They were living in your heart, and also in the hearts of the many people who Andrew touched with his life.
Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this expression of life.
Ted Throckmorton

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Larry,
I am so sorry for your loss. I missed this thread because i have been off the computer for a while, while moving. I am so sorry Larry. You have always been an integral part of this forum with your generosity towards others. I didn't mean to bring this thread back if it causes pain, i just felt i owed a reply in this topic beacuse i have so much respect for you as a person, and a metal worker.
Hang tough
Brian

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  • 2 weeks later...

I normally have not gone to this secction of IFI but wanted to post on Grant's passing, then I read about your son. I am so sorry for your and your family. I know there will always be sadness and grief but can only hope that time and family and friends help make things better. I always enjoy reading your posts and wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
James Johnson

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Dear Larry, I only came across this part of the Forum as a result of the death of Grant Sarver. However as a result I discovered the tragedy that befell you.

So very belatedly, I can only express my heartfelt sympathy for you. Your words about your son struck a very deep chord with me.

With the very greatest of respect and regard at all levels,

Chris. (From the UK)

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