March Funnies

[Nakedanvil - Grant Sarver]

I'm really proud of myself at the moment. I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and the box said 2 - 4 years. :lol: :lol:

[ThomasPowers]

I've nearly lapped myself on my crossword puzzle a day calendar so don't feel too bad...

[Nakedanvil - Grant Sarver]

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

~ Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President ~

[Thomas Dean]

A perfect case that you can't fix STUPID!!

[youngdylan]

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

~ Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President ~

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

~ Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President ~

[Nakedanvil - Grant Sarver]

Ode to a woman.....

Every man needs a woman, and I need you
To lift me when I am sad
To comfort me when I am down
To clean the puke off me when I am drunk
To walk beside me when I want to look like I'm not gay
To walk in front of me when I need someone to act as a human windbreak
To kiss me when I am .....
To massage me when I am tense and/or .....
To make me ..... when I'm not .....,
and then to watch me fall asleep.

I need you, darling,
to clean between my toes when they are not clean to my satisfaction.
To pick the nits out of my hair when I have head lice
To try milk for me when I am not sure of the expiration date.
To be there when I need you to be there
and to be out of town the rest of the time.

My darling, although it may seem sentimental
I want to take this moment to tell you I love you,
because I don't want to lose half my stuff.

(Did I tell you about my Divorce?)

[pkrankow]

What follows 3 days of rain?

Monday.

Phil